[Ash123]

1. LAUGH
You need to show your brain that your ex is not the only source of endorphins. That's where addiction starts. Find a way to laugh.
RENT funny movies OR watch well-written TV shows - Simpsons, 30 Rock, Entourage, *I like Entourage... Reminds me of my days in LA!

This is a link to a thread on movies we did in the past.
I think goofy movies like Saving Silverman and The Hangover are worth adding... The list is always growing... :-)

Great sporting events are a great escape too but not guaranteed laughter...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...st-221423.html

2. EAT
Eat healthy. No junk food except on certain pity nights (see also: ice cream and gossip mags for girls... and hamburgers and ESPN for guys). Why get your body broken just because your heart is? No. When you ready to date again you don't want to be some fat mess... that's not fair to you or that right person who may think you don't care about yourself...

2B. DRINK
Please note: Getting drunk does not cure a broken heart. It just leaves you feeling nauseated and sick in the morning. Bummer. (Not that everyone hasn't tried!)

3. TRAVEL
It doesn't need to be far or expensive, it just needs to be different. Once a month - at least a long weekend... If you have a big vacation coming... spend time planning.

4. LIFE 101
Nobody's life is all great all the time... So, stop envisioning your ex as laughing all the time and having a better life than yours. It's not happening.
If you work hard at it, your life will be just as filled with adventures - if not more... which lead to new people. Which lead to new relationships.

5. GYM
More endorphins here... Even if you don't feel like it, you will sleep better and breathe better after a work out and that's a good thing... because when miss or mister right comes along do you want to have to start from scratch just for them... be in the game.

6. LEARN
Every time you learn something new you get stronger... and your brain gets stronger. If you go on a trip to somewhere new, read a book or watch the history or science channels you become more interesting... Interesting people are not only happier, they are sexier... and attractive to others.

7. SET A GOAL
NC is a great time to set a goal: Restore that motorcycle. Buy that house. Learn an instrument. Edit that movie. Plant that garden. It is amazing how taking our fixation on a person and putting it on a goal let's us do things we never thought possible... The greatest music albums of an artists career, the best book of a writer's life, the best season of an athlete's life have often come after a breakup.

8. LOSE THE LOSERS
If your life is a mess, the person you lost may be one part of a bigger problem.
Are your friends strong, hard working, dependable and loyal or flakes that get in trouble and don't have your back. Your friends should be the type of people that you want to attract in a partner too. After a breakup - look around. Who has your back? Make sure when a girl or guy meets you that your posse includes some people you's be proud to take home to your parents.

9. PHONE
When we breakup we talk on the phone to friends a lot... Make sure you have the cell minutes or you'll go broke fast :-) Also, talking in person let's you have a deeper exchange of communication, and that means something more memorable in your day. Find a place without cell service. You'll be amazed how free you suddenly feel... No pressure of checking or receiving... If you can't find these places... turn the phone off. It can't bother you, if it's off...

10. OUTDOORS
It's amazing what fresh air can do. It's always easier to be in a good mood outdoors, than it is indoors... This computer is a great place to do research and connect with friends, but if you are not outside in the sun, or rain... You cannot fully recharge... Get to the mountains or river or beach. It works.

11. HELP SOMEBODY
No matter how bad you feel someone always has it worse. If you help a friend or just volunteer for public service, those people will never forget it. And you will not be thinking about yourself but getting positive feedback from others... oh, and you'll have an extra support system of new people who care about your well-being.

Ok, that oughta keeep you busy!

I hope this helps! Enjoy your day and take your time. Recovery takes... time... That's the law :-)

Ash

**Please feel free to add anything you've discovered to get you through NC**

[snow124]

Thanks for this. Four months since it ended and I'm still trying to find things to do

[chetatkinsLA]

I LOOOOOOVE point number 4 :D Cause that´s what I always do. I always think SHE is having the time of her life every time I think about her. I´m usually busy, but when I chill my mind starts thinking.. ok, so maybe she is having a blast right now while I am sitting on the couch! Arrg! But you are right.. maybe she´s picking her nose while I´m thinking she´s doing something fun.. :D

Thanks for these guides! Very helpful! :D

[bella99]

Its been 3 months for me - and I still constantly think about him and wonder what he's doing. I'm pretty bad at this NC thing - I try then I fail but I'm getting better.

I do number for a lot too. Its funny this summer I've actually been non stop doing stuff and traveling. I was at the beach in jersey this weekend, last weekend I was in NYC, the weekend before I was in Baltiomore andPhilly, before that I was in VA beach, etc etc. If anythign I'm trying to make srue I'm always having a better time than him - but my min always wanders back to him anyway. Ugh :(

[Ash123]

Bella it takes time.
Congrats on staying busy... your time will come for clarity will come...

[Torrid13]

I completely agree with this list, especially the traveling and outdoors parts; I try to go out of town at least 2 times a month, and when I have to go to the doctor an hour away from town, I treat it as a mini-adventure.

When I'm having down days and it's raining, I'll go to Game Stop or Babbage's and buy a used game to play!

I write poetry as well, and during each period of my life, I write book. Writing for me really helps see my progression of feelings and healing, and seeing red flags I should have seen before that I will keep in mind for other relationships!

And sometimes, just going to Chik-Fil-A and getting a HUGE sweet tea is the best medicine for me.

I've really learned to appreciate myself in these past few months... sometimes break-ups are some of the greatest things to happen to us, although it doesn't seem like it at the time! :)

[Ash123]

Yes, indeed... all part of healing...
You don't need to run away and hide but just keep busy living and then... BOOM... you realize that the universe is not so cruel and that you were just learning a lesson that we all must go through.

[bella99]

What should you do if you find that you have trouble with NC because you hang out with a group of like 40 people that are all also the ex's friends? Like this weekend, one of my best friends (mandy) is having a get together for her birthday, but she is having it in conjunction with my ex's birthday party - same thing they did last year. I don't want to be mean and just ignore him, and I want him to see that I am having fun with out him. But whenever I'm near him, its really hard for me to have fun and not think about him.

I need a new group of friends - I've been trying to meet new people - it just takes time to develop friendships.

[laxman526]

I'm struggling as well. Almost 2 weeks of NC and I am reeling. Thanks for writing this list. Joined a gym and I am trying to stay busy. The worst part is at night when you're going to bed. You feel alone and your mind wanders. Waking up sucks too, but once the day gets moving and I've had that coffee, it fades, until its night time again. LOL, arghhh!!

[Ash123]

Bella: hang out as much as you can stand. The good news is that you may just get de-sensitized faster by having to deal with reality. Just do it on your terms. One day you will not care... as for new friends? Maybe, but pick your own spots to meet... and don't say petty things like: "I can't stand him. I don't wanna be near him..." Be the bigger person. People always know the reality and will respect you for being strong as you can...

Laxman: 2 weeks is not a lot. Ha! But I know it sucks... I have broken up with some special girls that I thought would haunt me for life, but I've found that if you force yourself to do what you're supposed to (get busy and get out and be a good person) it always works out...