[jmw0713]

Once again you are over thinking everything and not seeing this for what it really is.

First off, your ex treats you like crap!

Second, getting friends involved to help with business you should be taking care of yourself is both WEAK and DESPERATE.

Third, this fairy tail plan you have to attempt to "win her back" is absolutely ridiculous. I don't think I know one girl who would fall for this, and one guy who would even think this would work.

This "plan" you have is going to backfire. Yea, she will remember you for a long time, but for the wrong reason. Instead of remembering you as the one that she stupidly let go, she will remember you as the ex BF who was SO desperate to get her back that he gave her lame a$$ cashews and seashells!

I feel sorry for you bro. Not sorry for the fact that you're suffering from this loss, but the fact that you are attempting this lame plan to get someone back and making a fool of yourself at the same time.

For your sake, I hope you learn from this disaster and NEVER attempt something like this again.

[reckless]

Do not care. This is now guaranteed to go down. I'll tell you all how it goes. I have made no mistakes. She called me, but I was out with my friends. I called back and I kept the arrangement negotiations simple and to the point.

When I called she was on the toilet. She told me to hold on. I made fun of her for being on the toilet and she said, "yeah, i was changing my tampon." she was probably PMS'ing just around the time she broke up with me, 5 days ago.

I'm not using that as an excuse.

Toall the people who don't believe in me, I am hollywood, I am prince charming, I am victory.

I'm just going to report on what happens from now on. I want no advice. I just want to report on the facts and the outcomes. I don't care if you're right. I'm hard-headed and I'm reckless.

She called again while I was out shopping. I don't intend to call her back because it can only be bad news. If it is good news, then I'll know tomorrow.

[liz28]

The toilet and tampon thing was too much information. You could have left that part out hollywood/prince charming/victory.

[N0help4u]

Well Liz you c itz like this
Her getting the phone while doing all that *things we don't want to know stuff* just proves she was anxiously awaiting his call and couldn't answer de phone quik inuff.

[Romefalls19]

Since he doesn't want anymore advice, I will just use this topic as further evidence of the thickheadedness that the youth of today has.

[friend4u178]

i want no advice. i don't care if you're right. i'm hard-headed and i'm reckless.

Wish granted!!

::unsubscribing::

[reckless]

okay internet, you win.

the plans were nice, they made her smile and giggle. During the movie held her, but I messed up and went too strong. I thought she would want my advances but she complained about being too hot and such.

later on she held me in the restaurant we went to. She held my hand and stuff, nothing was forced. She made the advances, not me this time. I talked to her about our relationship. She said she couldn't change me, she said that in a relationship you should love each other for who they are naturally. I said I'd change and do anything because I love her. She said she loved me but that we weren't right for each other and tried hard to friend zone me. I refused. I said some pro game stuff and got her to say "i can't make a decision now, i'll tell you later." I got to this point because totally randomly, two of my friends just happened to be at the theater and vouched for me and said I would change. When my ex's friend said I wouldn't, they told her to shut up.

I'm not hanging on her decision. I know the answer is going to be no. I just felt like I had to make one last gamble. I have no regrets. It doesn't hurt any more than it did before. I know that I've made no progress, but I really felt like I had to do this for myself.

good job internet. You were right. I really don't care. If anything else happens, I'll tell you. I'll tell you when she tells me her decision, which I know has already been made. She hasn't called me tonight, and I doubt she will. She'll make it look like she's actually mulling this over when she isn't.

I don't want to read your advice, in fact I won't. I'm merely here to report so that others can see the outcomes of my actions.

[Torrid13]

Bring on the punch, chips and dip!

Hot diggity dog, we're good!

[N0help4u]

She is right and that is what we have been trying to tell you. I sensed that you are not her type by some of the wording you use and some of the things you said.
You need to back off and make her want to come to you by not being there hanging on her every word.
BUT you need to make changes or else find somebody more your type.

I am not the type to say I told you so
I leave that up to others

Pizzas on me!

[jmw0713]

You don't have to read our advice. I just want to let you know, that we have been in similar situations as you, up to the whole date plan thing...

If you need anyone to talk to or have any questions, we are here. I know we were all pretty harsh, but we were trying to keep you from falling on your face, and throwing more salt on the wound of your break up.

We don't do this to make fun. We all genuinely try to help people who post here. Since you have posted, we have and will continue to try and help. If you listen or not is your decision.

I hope you have learned from this. It's a hard pill to swallow when you accept defeat...

[N0help4u]

jmw0713 agrees: What the heck is that!? No crust? Loks like a pile of toppings to me. Where is the NY style pizza at??

All I could order with short notice :D
Should have planned ahead!!

[jmw0713]

That's OK. Crust is good, but the toppings make the pizza! :)

[CanIBuyAClue]

In my experience do not do nice things, with my ex we had several great dates a month or so after the initial break up and she even started acting like my GF again for a bit, and then like 3 days later was all I don't want to be giving you false hope, I don't think we can hang out anymore blah blah... I say just leave it alone, you will be better in the long run. But it is your choice after all, just thought I'd put in my 2 cents.

[friend4u178]

Ok I'm back , just figured someone had to bring the beer ;)

[slapshot_oi]

...good job internet. you were right. i really don't care. if anything else happens, i'll tell you. i'll tell you when she tells me her decision, which i know has already been made. she hasn't called me tonight, and i doubt she will. she'll make it look like she's actually mulling this over when she isnt'.

i don't want to read your advice, in fact i won't. i'm merely here to report so that others can see the outcomes of my actions.

We're right because a lot of us have been in your shoes before.

I don't blame you for disregarding all of our advice, in fact, I appreciate your honesty. I believe that very few people who ask for advice on AMHD take it seriously. Like you, they had a plan before they asked for advice, they're just looking for vindication for their decision. It's rare for someone to learn a lesson without experiencing it first-hand, it's just something that must happen.

[inertia]

This was painful to read. I think we can all relate to a bit of his desperation, although I have never actually followed through with my post break up fantasies because they always seemed like a bad idea after a night's sleep.

I blamed all sorts of people aside from exes post break up, but that's just self-deception. The fact that you aren't budging shows that you are a major control freak. This is why saying "I'll change" is a bold face lie to her. The more you hold on, the more you prove to her that you will never change. One day you will see the irony. One day you will beat yourself up for all of this. One day you'll regret being so thick. She will never look back. If I were her friend, I would tell her to run away as well.

The fact that you are preying on her weakness for you shows that you are a manipulative person. I hope she breaks free from you.

[reckless]

Me: “I called because I wanted to sing to you, for no other reason.”
Her: “Alright, sing to me.”
Me: (I sang the song “Always” by Blink 182.)
Her: “Good job, that was beautiful. So that's all you called for?”
Me: “Yeah, pretty much.”
Her: “How've you been?”
Me: “Well I did something this week that would make you angry.”
Her: “What'd you do?”
Me: “Nope, I'm not telling you.”
Her: “Just tell me.”
Me: “I got caught stealing from Wal-mart.” (I explained the long story to her and how my friend had tried to cheer me up after the double-date by stealing things. We were let off and no charges were pressed. I explained how my friend blamed her for our actions.)
Her: “You guys are just stupid. I told you that you'd get caught someday.”
Me: “Yeah, well I don't care.”
Her: “And you're blaming me for your actions?”
Me: “No, he's blaming you.”
Her: “I think it's funny how he supported you when you were trying to get back with me during the double date, even though he doesn't want us back together.”
Me: “Yeah, well that's because he knows what makes me happy. I'm done talking to you now. Didn't you hear the words in my song, 'I'm so sick of fights I hate them.' I don't want to talk to you when you're just going to be a jerk.”
Her: “How am I a jerk?”
Me: “I told you that I don't want to talk to you.”
Her: “When you say something like that about me, you should defend it.”
Me: “This whole thing has blown totally out of proportion. This was a little fight and it's escalated into something it's not.”
Her: “You just don't listen to me.”
Me: “I try to listen to you.”
Her: “But you don't.”
Me: “Yeah, well then just say it louder. Scream at me, slap me.”
Her: “I shouldn't have to do that stuff. When I tell you first time, you're supposed to get it, not be told fifty billion times.”
Me: “Well I'm sure you and RD (her best friend) have gotten into fights before.”
Her: “No, we haven't.”
Me: “You're lying, everyone gets into fights.”
Her: “We haven't since the 5th grade.”
Me: “Well, I'm sure you have other friends you've gotten into fights with.”
Her: “They're not my friends anymore.”
Me: “You have to learn how to forgive people.”
Her: “I hold grudges.”
Me: “That's not healthy at all. You'd have more friends and better relationships if you just talked things out.”
Her: “That's just not me!”
Me: “That's fine. I told you that I'm not here to fight you. I'm tired of all the stupid little fights we've been having over nothing. I'm never going to fight you about stupid stuff again.”
Her: “Okay.”
Me: “You've already admitted that you love me. It's as simple as that.”
Her: “It's not that simple.”
Me: “Well it should be. That's all a relationship is. It's not about stupid fights and arguments.”
Her: “Can we just be friends?”
Me: “I just have to say one thing. If you try to be my friend now, it's going to be over. I'm going to totally disappear from your life forever. My parents already know we broke up once, and getting them to accept you again was hard the first time. If they find out there's a second time, there's no chance of us having a future together. If that's what you really want, then do it.”
Her: “So, you won't even try being my friend?”
Me: “I've already told you that before. You know how I feel. I'm not going to be there when you come back to me regretting this. If you want me out of your life, then say it right now. I'll never talk to you again. You've done this to me once and you're sure as hell not doing it to me a second time.”
Her: “I don't want to talk about this right now.”
Me: “Do you love me?”
Her: “Yes.”
Me: “Then why are you doing this right now?”
Her: “I can't talk about this right now.”
Me: “Why?”
Her: “I just don't want to.”
Me: “Alright, I'm going to listen to you this time. I'm going to let you go.”
Her: “Okay.”
Me: “Alright then, I'll see you on Saturday and we'll have fun at the play. Goodbye.”
Her: “We will. Goodbye.”


I know you're all right. I actually went back and read some of your posts. The user Inertia is right. I'm too controlling. I know I should leave her alone, but this is something I needed to do for closure. I basically told her exactly how it is. She wants to be friends and I don't. I had to tell her exactly how I felt rather than leave it buried.

[friend4u178]

Man

That is one patient woman :rolleyes:

[BlackVY]

Hmmm... a very interesting conversation there...

I wonder how this plays out...

[N0help4u]

Her: “I shouldn't have to do that stuff. When I tell you first time, you're supposed to get it, not be told fifty billion times.”

All that talking you did in that phone call no wonder she feels the way she does! You sound like a poor attempt at manipulating her.

She knows you are not going to go through with your threats so she doesn't want to talk about it because she knows you won't cut her out of your life so why should she waste her breath?
One minute you are giving her an ultimatium the next you are saying see you at the mall on Saturday.
She already knows you are putty in her hands.