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fisk · Jul 25, 2009, 01:17 AM

Hi everyone,

I have been sexually active for just a month now, and my problem is that every time, I worry about getting pregnant. I have talked about it with friends and they said it's normal cause it's my first times, but I sincerely am scared to death about getting pregnant. I'm on the pill, and we always use condoms( I always check if they are broken too), but then I know that the pill isn't 100% protective and the condom does have a risk of failure. I keep on making up stories of how even though he put a condom before getting into me somehow some sperm managed to make it through, or that he had sperm on his hand when he fingered me etc...
I haven't had my period for this month because I took 2 packs of the pill in a row in order not to have my period when he was here, so that's normal. My breasts are tender and bigger, but I guess it's the effect of the pill without the 7 day break. But I'm still scared... :( I know the chances are slender, I know it's practically not possible, but somehow I can't get over it.

How do I get over this? I cannot be scared every time, and I hate being stressed in general. Is anyone else feeling this way?

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 25, 2009, 02:02 AM

This is a sign that you are not mature enough to be having sex yet. First off you just started the pill and already you failed to take the pill properly for your body to cycle properly (for the 1st time) you did not let your body get used to the meds before skipping inactive pills.

Secondly, I believe you can never be too safe, but all of what you are doing sounds like overkill. By the way sperm can get trough holes you can't see. Sperm are smaller than droplets of water.

Chey5782 · Jul 25, 2009, 02:32 AM

I got pregnant with my first using condoms AND being on the pill. I'm not sure if taking your pill for 2 months without a break will effect you hormonally like that or not. I know that I have had some in depth conversations about the percentages of the pill not working if I take it even 45 minutes later than I did the day before. But it also depends on the pill you are taking. I am shocked that your doctor didn't tell you it takes a month for your pill to be as effective as it can be.

Sexual intercourse can result in a pregnancy. Did you know that there is semen in the fluid a man emits before ejaculation? I'm agreeing with danielnoahsmommy, you need to learn a lot more about sex before you continue to be active. I don't blame you for being scared, you aren't well informed enough to be doing this yet. Go back to the doctor and talk to them about this, get a pregnancy test to ease your fears. And read a few books about the male and female body.

The best birth control is self control. If you are this scared then you need to take a huge step back and reconsider. You definitely did the right thing getting on birth control before having sex by the way, that does show a lot of responsibility. Just not enough if you can't take it responsibly.

fisk · Jul 25, 2009, 03:28 AM

Ok, I haven't explained myself well enough. I have not 'just started the pill', I have been on it for 3 months now; I have also taken it before for a year and a half for hormonal problems and then stopped for about 6 months. And of course I know that you can get pregnant with pre-ejaculation fluids but my vagina didn't come in contact with that either. I AM well informed, I'm just being paranoid.
And by the way, I'm not a 14 year old little girl who is being curious. I am more than ready to have sex, but I know that I'm not ready to be pregnant, that's all.

Chey5782 · Jul 25, 2009, 03:38 AM

Now THAT makes a whole lot more sense. Sorry if anyone comes off as preachy about it. There seem to be a lot of questions like that younger people post. No offense meant.

As for your original question, have you considered a different form of birth control than taking simply the pill? I'm a fan of the IUD myself, they come in hormonal and non-hormonal now, I thought that was kind of cool when my OBGYN told me that. You might also want to try a vaginal foam or film along with the pill and condoms if it bothers you as much as it does. (Though they are a little weird)

fisk · Jul 25, 2009, 03:49 AM

Thanks Chey, I'm going to ask my doctor about it. Your story about getting pregnant while being on the pill and using a condom scares the hell out of me! Did the condom break/did sperm spill while your guy took it off?

Chey5782 · Jul 25, 2009, 03:56 AM

Wow that was over 9 years ago now, I was only 17. I am certain we broke a condom the month I got pregnant, but I cannot say for certain it was when I was ovulating. We were very sexually active though, from your other post I see that you have days when you can be as well. If you are as careful as I assume you are then I am willing to assume as well that you take every possible precaution. The only thing more than you could so would be to use a spermicidal lubricant or a vaginal foam. I'm not a fan of the foam because the couple I have tried smelled weird and kind of tingled. But a spermicidal lubricant worked great for me, if you are active often it's a good extra precaution plus it can help with the comfort and friction.

fisk · Jul 25, 2009, 04:20 AM

Yes, I am using a lubricant but it's not a spermicidal one. It really helps with comfort.. and yes I'm trying to be careful, because I really love my boyfriend too and I would hate having to deal with something like an unwanted pregnancy. I even talked to him about it, and he said that he'd know if the condom broke(he's had girlfriends before), and that the chances are minimum and I shouldn't worry about it.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 25, 2009, 12:26 PM

I wouldent say it is minimum risk. It happens even to the most careful of people.

Chey5782 · Jul 25, 2009, 02:25 PM

He would know? Maybe after but by then the damage would be done. Consider the spermicidal lube. :D

fisk · Jul 25, 2009, 02:52 PM

Well sure, after, but at least I-we would know so I can get the day-after pill!