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paxe · Jul 21, 2009, 09:40 PM

This may sound a bit amateurish but here goes:
I meet a woman in another country but we live in the same city. When I meet her I got her phone number and I told her that I am going to call her, she seemed happy about it. We spent a couple of days together ( in a weeding of a mutual friend ) so we were quite close together and she seemed genuinely interested in me.

Now that was 1 month ago and she is only returning in 2 weeks. My question is should I send her a quick email telling her hi and stuff, or will I look like a looser who wasn't able to find a girlfriend for 1 month and a half (by the way I was with family and traveling all that time)?
Is it probable she forgot about me ( she was traveling all that time and I believe she made a lot of friends, she is quite sociable )?

Torrid13 · Jul 21, 2009, 10:20 PM

If you think she was genuinely interested, then by all means, call her up or shoot her an email! If she seemed happy about it before, and you didn't do it, she might think YOU'RE not interested!

And no, you don't look like a loser who hasn't found someone in 1.5 months. It means you don't rush into relationships, and that looks GOOD.

If she was truly interested in you, I doubt she forgot about you! Call her up and see what the vixen is up to! :)

I wish · Jul 22, 2009, 12:00 AM

Torrid13, had to spread rep, but that's spot on!

In addition to what Torrid said:

1) If you haven't found anyone in 1.5 months, it only means that you're really into her. If you think she's genuinely interested, then this is a good thing because you remained faithful all this time.

2) However, she has been gone of a while, so take things slow with her. Rekindle your friendship first before you taking the next few steps forward.

3) Starting with an email is a good idea, because it will give her time to respond when she's ready, instead of catching her off guard by calling her. When she responds, you will have a better idea of her interest level with you.

Torrid13 · Jul 22, 2009, 12:11 AM

YES! I finally write something full of pro and win!

:)

And excellent idea about the email vs. the phone call: why didn't *I* think of that?

paxe · Jul 22, 2009, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Torrid13, had to spread rep, but that's spot on!

In addition to what Torrid said:

1) If you haven't found anyone in 1.5 months, it only means that you're really into her. If you think she's genuinely interested, then this is a good thing because you remained faithful all this time.

2) However, she has been gone of a while, so take things slow with her. Rekindle your friendship first before you taking the next few steps forward.

3) Starting with an email is a good idea, because it will give her time to respond when she's ready, instead of catching her off guard by calling her. When she responds, you will have a better idea of her interest level with you.

I agree with the email part, but I haven't found someone in 1.5 months because I was with my brothers who live overseas and who came to visit. Also I just came out a 3 year relationship (first one) and I don't want to rush into anything (broke up about 4 month ago), so I'm questioning my motives as to why I want to date her.

I was thinking for the first date ( if it ever happens ) to kiss her to "seal the deal", but I'm not sure if I'm rushing it. Thanks guys! By the way I'm 22 she's 18 but she is more mature for her age (she looks like a 20+)

I wish · Jul 22, 2009, 07:44 AM

Just keep talking to her and getting to know her better. That's not rushing it.

Rushing it would be trying to kiss her or asking her to be your girlfriend before you're ready.

88sunflower · Jul 22, 2009, 07:54 AM

You sound as though you feel after 1.5 months you should have had a girlfriend. Who cares. That's not a long time by any means. She shouldn't think anything of that. I agree with sending her an email. This way you can feel her out and know what she is thinking by her response. She might be thrilled you contacted her. What's it going to hurt? If she isn't interested the way you are then you at least made another friend.

paxe · Jul 22, 2009, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

You sound as though you feel after 1.5 months you should have had a girlfriend. Who cares. Thats not a long time by any means. She shouldnt think anything of that. I agree with sending her an email. This way you can feel her out and know what she is thinking by her response. She might be thrilled you contacted her. Whats it going to hurt? If she isnt interested the way you are then you atleast made another friend.

I wouldn't care less if I didn't find a girlfriend in 1.5 months and I am not particularly looking to get one, I'm going with the flow. But you're right with the email, it's better than cold calling. I'll try that and check her response. Thanks for your help guys!

fishburn7 · Jul 22, 2009, 09:10 AM

Go ahead shoot her the email...

What's the worse that could happen? She says no and you look like a loser right? That's happened to all of us, we all look like idiots trying to ask some girl out once in our lives. And as torrid said, she sounds like she's into you, also 1.5 month is basically nothing

Just shoot her the email and see what happens, if you're never willing to take risks you'll never be able to be happy, which coincidentally is the answer to my problem

paxe · Jul 22, 2009, 02:46 PM

I've been out of the dating loop for 3 years. I've been in a relationship since I'm 18 so I didn't have too much experience before and I'm trying to build my confidence to try and get some more experience.

I was wondering what all you people about bars and nightclub, is it a good place to meet people ( I can be very sociable )?
I'm going to take the plunge and worst case scenario nothing will happen but at least I would have gotten some experience

fishburn7 · Jul 22, 2009, 02:50 PM

Wherever you meet girls is a good place