[De4rest]

Ic, it's a tough thing to do to accept that fact =(
It's funny you know. When we texted back and forth and when I didn't reply his last text, he will be asking me why and all that (like he doesn't accept that fact). So u know, I am just wondering if he wants me to reply to his, why he doesn't reply to mine? Also, earlier in the rel. he contact me more often than now. So that's why I don't understand his behaviour now.

[slapshot_oi]

Too little, too late. Plain and simple.

You only begun to show that you care when he explicitly told you that he feels that he's abandonded. The way he's acting shouldn't surprise you.

He has feelings for you, but if you put in effort only if he instructs you to, then why should he bother? I am just speculating, but I believe he wants to call you, respond to your texts and all that because he cares about you, but he doesn't because he knows once he takes the initiative you'll back off and become your old self. It's these conflicting feelings that cause his on/off behavior.

It's not your fault, and it's not his. Despite what others think on here, he's not a jerk. But where you don't have time for a relationship, you clearly shouldn't be in one at the moment. Relationships are time sensitive, ever hear of "right person, wrong time"?

I do accept him for who he is. Correct me if I'm wrong, if a guy really loves you doesn't he want to contact you on a daily basis??? I am talking about bf/gf situation here. I texted him today but no reply at all. What am I suppose to think here?

If you accept him for who he is, then why are you comparing him to other situations?

[De4rest]

Great insight you got there slapshot_oi. I never think he's a jerk. You are right, I should not compare him to other situations. He is what he is now and I just need to learn to accept that. Sometimes, I feel it's not fair for me that I have to swallow everything and he doesn't validate my feelings on the other hand. I just had a talk with him. I ask him why he never initiates now I just feel as if he doesn't miss me or care. He told me that I am being insecure. Wow, it does lower my self-esteem. I just feel like I want to shut down. I have feelings for him so I need that connection. It's like everything I do is wrong, if I don't tell him he might not realize it and if I tell him he just think I am being insecure. He also told me that it doesn't matter if I initiates first most of the time. Yeah, when I initiates no reply and he keeps on defending himself which hurts me even more. So, there's no point of telling him anyway then. Arghhh...

[talaniman]

Have you realized yet that your feeling make you a lousy listener?? You are internalizing, his responses to you instead of listening to what he says. That's not communications, and not completely honest.

[ResearchLover]

Due to the length of this thread and noting your frustration and continued replies, after receiving advice--I think it's best if you make an appointment to see a counserlor. This isn't healthy-and speaking with a professional will help.