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lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 03:35 PM

I am remarried. No we don't have a court ordered visitation we just decided on our own what we would do. I did speak w/ my ex about moving and he was OK with it. My husband and I decided to move to have space for the kids. He lives a 2bdrm hm w/ his mom, dad, & sister. We moved to a 5bdrm hm cause I do have a 10mth old daughter. I have been asking him when he would move so the kids would be more comfortable but says financially he can't but can afford to drive a 06 bmw 525. I can't leave until my lease is up.

lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 03:36 PM

Sorry he can't afford to move but can afford his car.

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2009, 03:42 PM

If the visitation isn't court ordered and the ex agreed to the move, then he had to consider the issue of schools. I would approach this with him telling him, that since he agreed to the move he needs to agree to their change of schools. If he wants to fight it tell him to go to court. Then register the kids.

s_cianci · Jul 21, 2009, 03:43 PM

I presume that, prior to your moving, you and your ex lived in the same school district? If in fact the custody order calls for joint physical custody then I'm afraid your ex has the ace in the hole on this one. You moved 60 miles away so that puts the onus on you. Ultimately, one of you will have to bend since, regardless of which school district you enroll them in, you'll need to supply proof of residence. And a fraudulent school registration can have serious consequences so you don't want to go there. So, strictly speaking, you'll probably have to be the one who'll have to give in this situation and let the kids primarily reside with your ex so that they can legally attend school in that district. You can certainly have liberal visitation when school's not in session, though you'll be doing a lot of driving to make it happen.

N0help4u · Jul 21, 2009, 03:45 PM

She said they agreed without the court.
She also said he does not have a suitable middle school in his area

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2009, 03:47 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

I'm afraid your ex has the ace in the hole on this one. You moved 60 miles away so that puts the onus on you.

I disagree. Since the ex agreed to the move, I think he may have relinquished his rights in this particular issue.

s_cianci · Jul 21, 2009, 03:50 PM

Well there's SOME designated public school where children of that age who reside in that area attend, free of charge, for nothing more than a simple proof of residence such as a utility bill. Whether it's a "good" or "suitable" school is largely a matter of opinion ; the fact is that it's there. And if that's the school district where they're used to attending, that'll be an ace in the hole as well. And speaking as a professional educator, it should be.

lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 03:51 PM

We have never lived in the same school district. We apply to "choice schools" in la to get the kids to a better school and they get bused. In Ca if you don't live in great areas and the school you're assigned to is below on test scores you can apply to other schools. We did that and she didn't get accepted for middle school. My problem with him he's not wiling to consider what's best for the kids. I would rearrange my schedule when I was working to take the kids to the bus. The school was 1hr away. I don't want her have to go to a low performing school because he's selfish. When I proposed before that she attend school by my job last year and I would take her home everyday even during him time his response was who was going to drive her there. When it just involved him getting up a little earlier than 7am to drop her and it was litereally 6 miles from his job. We may have to go to court cause he only wants what's convient for him. And if she doesn't get into a school he's just going to use someone's address instead of me using my own residence and her going to a top school in ca.

N0help4u · Jul 21, 2009, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

Well there's SOME designated public school where children of that age who reside in that area attend, free of charge, for nothing more than a simple proof of residence such as a utility bill. Whether or not it's a "good" or "suitable" school is largely a matter of opinion ; the fact is that it's there. And if that's the school district where they're used to attending, that'll be an ace in the hole as well. And speaking as a professional educator, it should be.

She said the school is unsuitable due to violence and poor quality education or something like that.

lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 03:55 PM

And she wants to go to school here. There are more programs for her and she can get into after school activities as where before she couldn't because she was bused. The school by me is 2 blocks away. And test scores are 20% higher than the school he's lying about an address for.

Thanks for all your help. I wanted to get others insight cause I don't want to fight over my kids I want them to have the best education and be happy. So the fact that they have their own rms where as they're sleeping in a living room and better school system that I don't have to jump through hoops for I thought would be good for them. The twins are 6 so they're neutral. My oldest is soon 11 and she wants to stay here.

lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 04:00 PM

OK yeah she could go to the public school that is assigned to his address but do you really expect me to think as an educator you would send your child to a school where the school isn't even meeting the states standards, the crime is ridiculous not to mention teen pregnancy. She is an advanced student and to not send her to a school that would challenge her I think is selfish of the parent. The idea is to do what's best for the child not you and that's why I'm here

N0help4u · Jul 21, 2009, 04:02 PM

Take it to court and tell the Judge all the advantages over his disadvantages and give him liberal visitation in your suggestion for a visitation plan. Then hope for the best

lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 04:07 PM

I think I will petition the court. Im open to the weekends and holidays and every other week in the summers only cause they're bore there cause he's to cheap to pay for camp or some activities instead leaves them with his 70+ mother. When I drop the kids off on Friday by Monday they're asking me when am I coming to pick them up. So I guess I need to go to court.

N0help4u · Jul 21, 2009, 04:09 PM

Being 60 miles apart it might be better to suggest every other week and if you want to get them enrolled in summer camps you should take the camp brochures with you.

s_cianci · Jul 21, 2009, 04:11 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I disagree. Since the ex agreed to the move, I think he may have relinquished his rights in this particular issue.

Yes, but where is it ever indicated that the ex "agreed" to the move?

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2009, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

Yes, but where is it ever indicated that the ex "agreed" to the move?

Post #21

Originally Posted by lexytwnsire

I did speak w/ my ex about moving and he was ok with it.

lexytwnsire · Jul 21, 2009, 04:18 PM

He said he was OK with the move and then after I moved I lost my job. I don't really think he thought aboout it in detail cause I still worked out there and its summer so we were already going back and forth about school. So then I asked about her going to school here and he said No. I was commuting to the city daily if you live in Ca or near many people commute. I live in the Inland Empire and he is in Los Angeles area. I would even take them on weekends but he's not willing to take them M-F.

N0help4u · Jul 21, 2009, 04:21 PM

If he is not willing to them M-F how does he expect to get them to school?

MomWontGiveUp · Jul 21, 2009, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by lexytwnsire

The school by me is 2 blocks away. And test scores are 20% higher than the school hes lying about an address for.

Can you obtain copies of her school registration and prove the address he used to register her there is not accurate?

Since moving for you is not feasible and it appears you have a better living situation than your ex, not to mention - living closer to the school, you could try using all of this to your favor and hope for the best in court.

*I would not mention the BMW as a comparison of what ex can and cannot afford.* I would stick to the school and preferred living situation.

N0help4u · Jul 21, 2009, 04:30 PM

Yes comparing incomes and financial status is not good unless they are out right negligent in meeting their needs.