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daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 08:27 PM

Hi daniel here so I met this girl about 2 years ago we became very close we talked almost every night most of the time I heard here crying over the phone about her boyfriend he seams to be way to into himself has to control her every move and blames here for things that are not even remotely in her control... anyway she won't leave him no matter what he does and starts telling me she would be with me if she didn't have a boyfriend. They broke up once for about a month and within that month she completely stayed away from me and than returned to her ex but things are the same as they were before and now she hardly speaks to me I don't know what to do

not2 bno1777 · Jul 20, 2009, 08:32 PM

Respect those boundaries - you can let her know your interested - but keep in mind next go around you could be the one she gets rid of I am a firm believer in what is meant to be will be

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 08:57 PM

I always respect her I will never do anything with her if she feels its crossing the line. Its just her current boyfriend is paranoid and thinks she's cheating on him every time she goes out somewhere. Do you think maybe he is doing something wrong and that's where his paranoya is coming from?

friend4u178 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:23 PM

Doesn't matter what he or she is doing or thinking. It's none of your business and she's made up her mind to stay with him.

Why waste your energy on someone who clearly shows by her actions that she doesn't want to be with you.

The fact that she has a BF already means she's Out of Bounds anyway , find someone who you can be exclusive with without someone else's dramas.

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 09:29 PM

You have a point there now the problem is getting her out of my head even though I see here every couple days... I hope it ends well thanks for the advice

friend4u178 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:38 PM

When you see her just be cordial and nice. That way she will see you in a better light and you get to keep your dignity without getting involved in her cr*p.

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 09:42 PM

I'm always as nice as possible to her. But thanks for the advice

friend4u178 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:43 PM

Originally Posted by daniel_dh

im always as nice as possible to her. but thanks for the advice

No problem , Good Luck :)

Bluefish23 · Jul 20, 2009, 11:06 PM

Yeah this sucks, but real men don't jump in on girls that are already with someone by choice.
So good on you!

mudweiser · Jul 20, 2009, 11:11 PM

Whether she was with the guy or not, from the sounds of the relationship I don't think she'd be able to have a relationship with you without bringing the baggage.

Relationships like that really mess up your mental/emotional health after a while-- I can see it already has since she went back to it.

Best thing to do is be her friend when you can be.

Just my opinion.

Sarah

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 11:21 PM

I think one of the main resones she went back to her ex was because that was her first bofriend and they have bean together for about 3 years

friend4u178 · Jul 20, 2009, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by daniel_dh

i think one of the main resones she went back to her ex was because that was her first bofriend and they have bean together for about 3 years

Irrelevant , and like I said earlier don't waste your time and energy getting involved in someone else's drama. It's totally out of your control.

mudweiser · Jul 20, 2009, 11:28 PM

Originally Posted by daniel_dh

i think one of the main resones she went back to her ex was because that was her first bofriend and they have bean together for about 3 years

Of course. She's used to him. Used to that type of treatment. She's scared of being without him; maybe even sh!tless.

Abusees usually go back to their abusers, he may not hit her but perhaps he crippled her emotionally-- thinking she only deserves him...

Love can be blind, which makes you stupid.

Perhaps she'll "wake up" one day or perhaps she'll always be stuck with him.

I agree with friend4u: "don't waste your time and energy getting involved in someone elses drama"

Sarah

friend4u178 · Jul 20, 2009, 11:30 PM

Listen to mudweiser daniel , she knows what she's talkin' about ;)

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 11:33 PM

Mayb your right ill take your advise and maybe someday she leave him for good and notice me thank you

mudweiser · Jul 20, 2009, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Listen to mudweiser daniel , she knows what she's talkin' about ;)

Been there, done that, burned all his shirts:D

Sarah

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 11:37 PM

Lol thank you. I just hope I can get threw it

friend4u178 · Jul 20, 2009, 11:39 PM

Originally Posted by mudweiser

Been there, done that, burned all his shirts:D

Sarah

Your so wicked ;)

Originally Posted by daniel_dh

lol thank you. i just hope i can get threw it

You'll be fine , just thank your lucky stars that you didn't go out with her , get emotionally attached and then she dumped you and went back to him.

We see that on here all the time too.

daniel_dh · Jul 20, 2009, 11:44 PM

Yea that sounds really bad

Why-Man · Jul 20, 2009, 11:52 PM

I think you should try to be friends with her BF and stay her best friend until something new happens.