[JennyJen64]

My boyfriend and I had a spat and broke up briefly. We ended up making up. He had mentioned that friends of his were worried he would get hurt as we are in a long distance relationship. I asked what was said and who was saying these things to him as it was one of the things that made him think about "us" as a couple.

He won't tell me what was said or who said what other than they were worried he might get hurt. His reason for not telling me anything more than his friends said things about me/us and they were worried he might get hurt is because he didn't want me to say anything to them.

I'm sorry but this reminds me of high school crap and we are long past high school years. He brought it up to tell me he wouldn't say who said anything or what was said, and I am the woman he wants to marry? My feelings are hurt and I feel like he is protecting his friends and putting their feelings before mine.


I definitely feel second best. Would anyone else feel the same way? I feel hurt and actually kind of betrayed. Would anyone else feel the same way?

[s_cianci]

I feel what you're saying. It is "high school crap." If he didn't want to spill the beans then he shouldn't have opened the can. And I seriously question his maturity for having to rely on the "advice" of his "friends" instead of thinking for himself.

[JennyJen64]

Yes. Well that's part of the whole thing. He shouldn't have said anything at all, but he did. And now that he did, I think, to tell me that he won't tell me anything more is mean.

I feel like I have to defend myself, I don't, but I feel like I have to. We do have some mutual friends and I wonder if it's one of them saying things. I just have a lot of doubt about friends saying things.

They do have a right to worry about him but I have a right to know what is being said about me as well. I know if the tables were turned he would be adament about me telling him everything.

And his reasoning for not wanting to tell me who these "friends" are is because he doesn't want me saying anything to them and causing a fight.

So what am I supposed to do with all of these hurt feelings? It's like he's protecting their feelings, and I just have to deal with the fact that he said that in the first place, weather he meant to or not, I'm stuck with it all.

When he made the comments about friends saying they were worried he could get hurt, it was just one of the things he rattled off. All he would say about them was that he thinks their comments were just about the distance. I doubt that... now.

I do feel sad. I feel hurt and on a level betrayed. I know he cares for his friends but I feel like my feelings are less important here, and considering he wants to marry me, they sure don't feel like it in this situation.

Am I reading this wrong?

[wontgohomewou]

You're reading this like someone who is looking for drama. Just let it go.