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Sandy_09 · Jul 20, 2009, 09:37 AM

Hello! I just joined this site.
I'm hoping that somebody knowledgeable will be able to answer my inquiry.
I'm thinking about proposing my ex-husband to forget about paying child support forever in exchange of him giving up parental rights. We have a 3 y/o boy. We live in FL, my ex lives in GA and he has come only about 3 times to see his son since we separated back when my son was 2 months old. In a few words, he doesn’t care about his son and he hates having to pay child support. But he uses his rights to control me and make me miserable. Is this something doable and legal? Any advice or related personal experience?
Thanks in advance.

jenniepepsi · Jul 20, 2009, 09:49 AM

Sorry hon. Unless you are married and your new husband wants to adopt your child, your ex cannot stop paying child support nor can he give up his rights.

I tried this as well, back in the beginning when we went to mediation to get the details hammered out, we both agreed that I didn't want child support and he didn't want his rights, but we were told no can do.

About the only other way I can see to get his rights taken away is if the judge does it, and I'm not sure under what circumstances he WOULD.

I would suggest you go to your lawyer if you have one, if you don't have one, get one, and explain the situation, and perhapes you can have the order revised. If he is abusing his rights, perhaps supervised visits are in order? Its worth a shot.

Good luck hon. That's all I know. I'm not a laywer or legal aid though, so this is only my experience, in my state of Arizona, so perhapes someone with more experience will be able to help more.

stevetcg · Jul 20, 2009, 09:54 AM

You can waive your right to child support, but that does not affect his rights and those cannot be waived unless the child is being adopted like Jennie said.

How is he using his rights to 'control' you?

jenniepepsi · Jul 20, 2009, 10:23 AM

Yeah I think the only reason I couldn't turn down the child support is because it was the state going after him and not me, because he owed the state 'payback' for state support given to me, and he owed me back payments as well.

Sandy_09 · Jul 20, 2009, 11:38 AM

Thank you for your answers, they are very appreciated. My son's dad has no interest in being a dad to him. He has a visitation schedule that he has never exercised. Not only he never comes to see him, but he won't reply to my emails, answer my calls and recently stopped paying child support. He has a warrant in FL for his arrest for contempt of the mediation agreement. He plays "dad" only to refuse getting our son a passport so he can travel overseas to visit my family (and his), in the grounds that it might be dangerous for him to leave the country. He's full of BS as you can see.
I'm glad to say that I'm in a very loving and stable relationship and he is like a dad to my son. We're open to marriage and more kids in the future and I'm pretty sure he would love to adopt my son.
In my case, the state did not support me before my ex started paying child support. He owes me back CS, or did I misunderstand the last message?

jenniepepsi · Jul 20, 2009, 11:57 AM

You got it right. Owing YOU back child support is different from owing the state. See, when my daughter was born, I was 19, no job, living with mom, and he walked out. He was my only source of income. When he walked out, I got cash assistance from the state. (welfare)