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    pleasehelp111's Avatar
    pleasehelp111 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 17, 2009, 07:00 AM
    Thinking about having a divorce
    My husband and I are married a little over a year, we only dated two months before getting married and it was so great. I loved him. He was everything to me. Now. The minute we got married he changed. He yells at me all the time. Doesn't want to have sex with me at all and puts me down. Tell me that I need to shower more than 2 times a day, tells me to wash my hair at least two times a day. I need to do my hair like this and like this, wants me to get surgerys and tells me that he isn't atracted to "nerdy girls". I have no clue what to do. He hates everything about me. He put me in so much dedt. Everything is under my name. The cars the cards everything. I'm in over 50k worth of debt and now in only 1 year my credit score has gone from a 8 to a 6
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 17, 2009, 07:10 AM

    Mmmm. he sounds a tad controlling and maybe he needed a meal ticket, pleasehelp. Sorry you are in that situation. I don't know whether to say more communication is better or not in this case, so forget I mentioned that.

    You don't need to live with anyone like that, pleasehelp, that is an absusive situation.

    Tick
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #3

    Jul 17, 2009, 12:25 PM

    Talk to him, tell him how all of this makes you feel. His response will let you know if things could turn around or if you are destined for many years of this same behavior if you stay.

    Hopefully he will realize what his words and actions have done... but odds are he won't. You may just have to cut your losses and consider it a major, and costly, lesson learned.

    IF you do decide to leave... make sure you speak to a lawyer first... you will want to make sure that no other debt can be racked up in your name. If you have him on the credit cards as an additional user, but they are in your name, you can have him taken off. Don't make any financial moves until you speak to someone first who can guide you and keep you from further debt.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 17, 2009, 01:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by pleasehelp111 View Post
    my husband and i are married a little over a year, we only dated two months before getting married and it was so great. i loved him. he was everything to me. now. the minute we got married he changed. he yells at me all the time. doesnt want to have sex with me at all and puts me down. tell me that i need to shower more than 2 times a day, tells me to wash my hair at least two times a day. i need to do my hair like this and like this, wants me to get surgerys and tells me that he isnt atracted to "nerdy girls". i have no clue what to do. he hates everything about me. he put me in so much dedt. everything is under my name. the cars the cards everything. im in over 50k worth of debt and now in only 1 year my credit score has gone from a 8 to a 6
    Sorry, I don't see a question here, but facts.

    1. You married him two months after you met him.
    2. He yells at you all the time.
    3. There is no intimacy.
    5. He puts you down, humiliates you, and wants you to get surgery to change appearance.
    6. He hates everything about you.
    7. You are in debt up to your eyeballs.

    So, are you asking if you should stay or not?
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Jul 17, 2009, 09:54 PM
    I think that you should speak to a lawyer - he sounds like a user and abuser to me, and you've inherited a whole lot of debt.

    Get some professional legal advice and protect yourself.

    You went into this without thinking, give some serious thought as to how you might get out.
    Torrid13's Avatar
    Torrid13 Posts: 637, Reputation: 149
    Senior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 17, 2009, 10:41 PM

    You should SMASH HIM WITH A HAMMAH!

    Okay not really.
    But seriously.

    I don't think it was very wise of you to marry this guy only 2 months into a relationship. But that's been done and now onto the present.

    Why is everything in your name? >.>

    I would try talking to him like some others suggested, and marriage counseling.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Jul 18, 2009, 09:24 PM

    We only dated two months before getting married and it was so great.
    You got suckered, and now you need a lawyer to get this mess cleaned up, leave now, and get the help you need.

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