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ndavenport · Jul 13, 2009, 01:05 AM

Hi I was with this girl for 2 years and we lives together for about a year well we broke up in November didn't talk for a month and then we started ti be friends and we did nothing but about a month ago I hurt myself at work and need an answer from her I love her deeply and want her to be part of my life but then she said she needed to be happy with herself I know for a fact she is not moving on but I was in the hospital for surgery and she works there as a nurse well after surgery I asked for her and she was off work I didn't know that but she was still there wondering how I was well she came into recovery to hold my hand and talk to me she stayed there after her 12 hour day and my pics are still up next to her bed well I was wondering isn't that saying a lot and what do I do to get her back but also giving her some space to miss me and me not seem so desperate to get her back

I wish · Jul 13, 2009, 06:02 AM

At this point, the only thing you can really do is tell her how you feel and see how she reacts. Everything else are just details. You don't need to interpret all the signs (ex: holding your hand or still having your picture up). Focus on the bottom line. If she wanted to re-try a relationship with you, she will let you know.

After she knows how you feel, you should go about doing your own thing. Hanging around her and begging her all the time is unhealthy for you. So while she's testing the waters and trying to move on, she's not scared because she knows that she can always fall-back to you because you are the backup.

Stand up for yourself. Let her know how you feel and start moving on. If she comes back to you, then awesome. But if she doesn't, at least you'll have made some progress in the recovery progress and will be in a better position to move on with your life.

ndavenport · Jul 17, 2009, 04:07 AM

Threads merged and edited.

Well I had concert tickets and Ohio State football tickets well I gave the concert tickets to one of our friends to take her and well she took it should I also give her the tickets and just say take them because I don't like OSU that much she loves them I got them for her and if she takes them should I think that there would be something that is going to happen and I should also say I bought her a lap top and she accepted that I just sent it through the mail but she took it she is not a person where she takes, and takes, she's not like that at all. She just says she wants to get happy with herself what do I do

jmooney527 · Jul 17, 2009, 05:38 AM

I like cars :D

Next time try to use punctuation... It's hard to read one sentence 8 lines tall.

Why would you buy her all this stuff after you're already broken up? She's not a person who takes takes takes because you give give give willingly! I know you want to do nice things for her, probably in hopes of getting her back... but buying her stuff won't do anything. If you buy her "love" and get back together then the relationship would be based on material items... once those are gone so is she.

If she wants to be happy, then let her be happy on her own. No amount of laptops or OSU tickets will get her there.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 17, 2009, 05:39 AM

You are trying to buy her love. I'm sorry it won't work.. find someone who will love you for you.

HistorianChick · Jul 17, 2009, 05:52 AM

You're being her Sugar Daddy.

Personally, I would want a relationship, not a genie in a bottle.

What should you do? I know that you miss her and want to try and win her back, but you have to realize that you are trying to buy her love. Love that is bought is not true love, it's being used.

Don't buy her things. Don't give her things. You are broken up and are not together any more.

Find someone who loves you for YOU, not for your wallet.

I wish · Jul 17, 2009, 05:58 AM

Going on a spending spree is not the way to win a girl's heart back. There are so many other things that you have to do if you were to get back together.

1) BOTH of you have to WANT to fix the things that broke you up in the first place. She obviously doesn't want to do it, so that's as huge minus.

2) BOTH of you have to WANT to be together. In other words, both of you have to want a relationship again. She obviously doesn't, so that's another minus.

3) I think you're missing the point about a relationship. It's suppose to happen naturally and not forced. You were together for 2 years and things were great. But people change, feelings change, as her has. That's out of your control and another minus.

I agree with the others. Find someone who likes you back and WANTS a relationship with you, instead of being forced.

roxypox · Jul 17, 2009, 07:21 AM

You do seem like a very considered guy who only wish her the best, but like the others have pointed out... Buying her things in hopes that you'll win her back... it will more likely then not be a fruitless mission.

Sometimes, no matter how painful it is, relationships end. Even when one or both parts wish that it could have been different.

People change, emotions change, the bonds that bind two people together change. And it might be time for you to let go of her and what you have and find a way to move forward with you life.

And once you've gotten past her. You can find someone who will appreciate you and love you like you do her. You deserve that!

talaniman · Jul 17, 2009, 08:54 AM

You're a good example that love is blind. Instead of gifts give her what she asked for,

but then she said she needed to be happy with herself

Then give her the time and space to do so.

I know for a fact she is not moving on

You don't know what she is doing, but what you should do is stop trying to buy her love, and give her the time and space for herself as she asked you to do, and get a life without her.

If she gets it together and wants you back, she will let you know. Until then leave her alone.