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hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 07:44 AM

Hello I'm eighteen years old. In may me and my ex broke up after a years and a half relationship, he was lovely but we just wasn't working. A week after we broke up he started dating one of my close friends (obviously not a friend anymore) and is still in a relationship with her. I still hurt a lot, even though I have been seeing a guy, but this guy is moving to the other side of the world in August. So pretty pointless.

I need to know how and where to meet new guys, I feel completely useless because I haven't technically "dated" before. I've forgotton how to approach guys, etc. help me?

kctiger · Jul 16, 2009, 07:46 AM

Are you going to be attending college?

roxypox · Jul 16, 2009, 07:46 AM

Do you feel that you are ready to date?

Are you over the ex?

Why do you want to date?

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 07:47 AM

I've just finished college, but I'm studying an access course in art and design, though it's an adult course so I've heard a lot of the students will be a lot older than myself. :(

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 07:47 AM

I do feel like I am ready to date, I really want to. I have been so bored. I'm not completely over him, I think I would more so if he wasn't seeing a friend of mine.

kctiger · Jul 16, 2009, 07:48 AM

You're 18 and you have graduated from college already?

Look, you sound very desperate, and that isn't an attractive quality. Develop your sense of self more, who you are, what truly makes you happy, that type of stuff. You are VERY young and you will eventually find someone. The key is to enjoy life and not worry about things like that. With your new found joy and radiant beauty you will automatically attract guys.

I would also caution you against carrying baggage into another relationship... dating is one thing, but don't commit to someone while trying to get over an ex. It is a recipe for disaster.

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 07:50 AM

Yes I'm english living in england. We have college after school and then we got to university :)

Yeah I totally understand where your coming from, thank you. :)

ZoeMarie · Jul 16, 2009, 07:51 AM

If you're not completely over him then you're not ready to date. Take up a new hobby. Go out and have fun, do things with your friends. You'll meet someone when the time is right. Don't just try to find someone to fill a void.

roxypox · Jul 16, 2009, 07:52 AM

Well, personally I would hold of on dating until the hurting easies up...

And I sympathies with the fact that it makes it even more painful that he is dating a friend of yours!

There are a lot of other ways you can keep busy and have fun!

Do you have any hobbies? Or do any sports?

Other then that when you start your course you get a chance to make some new friends at least!

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 07:53 AM

Yeah, it's just having to watch him in a relationship with an old friend of mine. I feel like I can't escape it.

roxypox · Jul 16, 2009, 07:55 AM

Do you live in proximity to each other? Can you avoid them more?

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 07:59 AM

We live pretty close. I see him a lot if I go out to bars, etc. and on Facebook, facebooks the killer but I can't help myself.

kctiger · Jul 16, 2009, 08:00 AM

De-friend him on Facebook... we can't really help you unless you are willing to help yourself. Self control is what is needed here. Quit worrying about his life and get a life of your own, that you enjoy, without him in it.

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 08:02 AM

Yeah completely it's just easier said than done haha. Thank you.

roxypox · Jul 16, 2009, 08:06 AM

True! You can't really get over him if you don't put some effort into it (I'm not saying that you aren't putting effort into it) but it does seem like you are worrying too much about him!

1. delete him and his girl as friends on Facebook.

2. Block them both on Facebook!

Why? That way you don't have to see what they write on the wall of mutual friends. You don't have to see comments that they make on pictures etc. They can't see your comments or wall posts either.

If you don't know how to do it, I can give you instructions ;)

3. Delete their phone numbers if you haven't already.

4. hide old pictures and notes etc. Don't read old messages. It won't help you heal.

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 08:09 AM

Ahhh thank you, a friendly comment. I think I know how to, I'll try and get back if I fail miserably haha.

Don't have their numbers anymore thank god.

Thank you

roxypox · Jul 16, 2009, 08:12 AM

no problem ;)

I did that with my x. (we broke up 9.5 months ago) and it just made it so so soooo much easier. I knew he couldn't see me and I couldn't see him. Nice stuff ;)

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 08:14 AM

Well I've deleted them both. So that should be better. :)

roxypox · Jul 16, 2009, 08:17 AM

Yup! It's a nice start. To block them... :

On top of the face book page on the right side, go into settings and privacy settings. There you'll find a box that says: Block people. You type in their name, select the correct person and voilà! You don't have to see them on Facebook and they can't see you ;)

I'm glad you deleted them It really is a step in the right direction!

hellothere1 · Jul 16, 2009, 08:19 AM

Ah nice thanks. X