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clare sweeney · Jul 15, 2009, 02:12 PM

I was in a relationship till 2 weeks ago .My partner suffered from premature ejectulation , it really effected are relationship and sex life as he lost what little sex drive he had, I just felt he did not want me as he did not even make much effort in foreplay or pleasing me, he barley even kissed me in are relationship. It really got to me , when I tried talking to him about it , he always said its not always about sex that I know but it does play a part in a relationship , even bigger part when its not happening. Can any one enlighten me??

Justwantfair · Jul 15, 2009, 02:14 PM

How can we help?
You are out of a dumpy relationship, which is a great thing.
I think you will find that no two sexual relationships are the same. You just take the time to heal from this relationship and hopefully you can handle some of this sexual baggage, but it wasn't your fault.
With a new sexual partner you will have a clean slate.

Synnen · Jul 15, 2009, 02:21 PM

How old are you?

clare sweeney · Jul 15, 2009, 02:22 PM

Thanks for saying its not my fault,

Gemini54 · Jul 15, 2009, 09:17 PM

Sex is not all that there is in a relationship - but it depends on where you're at in a relationship and often, what stage of life you're at as well.

Prem. Ejac. Can wreak havoc in a relationship because, untreated, it can leave both parties deeply dissatisfied and resentful. I suspect that what happens with guys is that they eventually avoid any sensual or sexual contact as they are so terrified of not performing. And of course, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. When they do have any sexual contact the symptoms are exacerbated and this further affects themselves esteem.

Try not to take what happened personally, but have a think about how you might have contributed to the dynamic. There is always a lesson for us in these situations, and it's useful, when the time is right, to have a think about what it might have been.

smoothy · Jul 16, 2009, 05:15 AM

I'll second the question, how old are you? It matters for any advice we will have.

clare sweeney · Jul 16, 2009, 01:38 PM

I am 42 and my X is 40

smoothy · Jul 16, 2009, 04:58 PM

When was his last physical... at 40 it is possible several medical conditions might be partially responsible for the lack of drive. All of which are unrelated to his premature ejaculation problem. Is he on any medications right now and which ones?