[BKGirl]

I'm 34 and my sister is 30. I've always been independent and am the black sheep in my family. My sister is living at home and has her own online business which she is not profiting from since starting it 5 years ago. She is the favorite and my parents don't hide it. She gets away with everything, living like a princess, not contributing to chores or financially. She had to borrow $3,000 recently and asked me for it. From past experience and from seeing how she handles her own money, I decided not to give it to her as I would probably not get it back for a few years. This caused a huge fight and I was, as usual, the "bad sister." I told her it was time to get a job, even if just a part time job. She refuses to even consider it. In the end, my parents emptied out their savings account and cashed in one of their retirement bonds to give it to her. I am fed up with being the one that does what my father expects: work. I'm the saver, the worker, and the scapegoat. This is my defined role in my family, I figure. But I know longer want to put up with it. My sister, when she wants something, she throws a temper tantrum or is insistent (she's a gemini, I'm a capricorn) and manipulative until she gets her way. Even to this day, being 30 years old. My parents enable this behavior as well. My mom never steps up and says something; she just drives herself nuts cleaning the house while my sister lives it up over there. My father also knows my sister's temper and so doesn't say anything. His excuse is, "She's my daughter, I'm not going to throw her out." No one is saying she has to be thrown out but she needs to get a job. For my parents, it's all about "family" and "love." My dad is retired though he still works parttime due to a high mortgage. However, he recently hurt his arm severely so he is out of commission for at least the whole summer. I am afraid that my parents are not prepared to retire fully and that my sister being there is not helping the situation. I feel that I will bear a lot of responsibility later on as my sister will probably still be in the same hole she has always been in because she spends more money than she has. I want to move away from the nonsense and gain some peace but will I regret it later on and will I "lose my place" especially with decision making with my family as they get older? Not that I really have a place now. My sister almost got them to sign the house over to her for "her business." When I caught wind of it, all hell broke loose. When I suggested they get a will, my sister loudly said, "No, we are already beneficiaries." I don't know, I see a huge fight down the road.

[N0help4u]

You have to realize they are making their own mess by their own bad decisions and you are not responsible for any of what they choose to do. They are feeding off each other with their enabling and codependency.
You have tried and get them realize the craziness of their ways but THEY LIKE IT just the way it is. So you did your job, you warned them.
The best thing you can do for yourself is move away. It doesn't mean you love them any less or anything but you have a right to make a life of your own the way you see fit as much as they have the right to live in the mess they made for themselves.
Go where you want and don't feel bad for it.
You did the right thing in not giving your money up. The more you help people that are wasteful and take things for granted the more you enable the fact that they can do it and get away with it. Throwing good money after bad only sinks you in the hole while they profit off your money.

As far as down the road, good or bad it isn't something you can anything about. If they decided to turn the house over to your sister there isn't much of anything you can do about it even if you were living under their same roof. Maybe there is something you could do about it legally by dragging your sister through court after your parents die IDK. But what they do you really don't have any control over.

[txsibling]

Oh, gosh, I can certainly relate to this situation. You need to move away. It will be much better for you. You are trying to change people that will more than likely never change. Find yourself a good church and get involved and volunteer there. God will help you and other good people will be around you. God will take care of you if you just give this situation to Him. Good luck to you and God bless you.