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007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 09:28 AM

Threads merged for the complete story

Hey all, I'm new to the forums so hi.

Anyway.

I was with this girl for a while and it was the best relationship we had both ever had but I was very insecure and got jealous when she would hang out with other boys so then she dumped me because it was getting to be too much. 1 month later we started trusting each other again, hanging out, walking around (alone) and we talked about getting back together. She told me to wait 2 more weeks.
That was 2 weeks ago.
Last Friday, the last day I had to wait, I done something completely stupid (cut my wrists) 'cause I lost control of myself.
Now, she won't talk, won't go near me, won't even reply to an email. But I'm sure she does like me from the way she looks at me.

I want to know if I should try and move on (which will be very very difficult) or try and slowly get to being good friends like we were before I cut myself.

kctiger · Jul 13, 2009, 09:35 AM

You need to get yourself some serious help. That should be your focus, trying to repair yourself emotionally. Cutting yourself is a fairly stupid thing to do, so learning how to cope with rejection and pain is something that should be a top priority for you, as NO ONE will want a relationship with someone like that.

Leave her alone and focus on your own improvement. Find other avenues of release other than taking a knife to your wrist. You would also benefit from getting hobbies... there is no way you should have been waiting around for 2 weeks while she does God knows what. That ain't the way the world works my friend.

I wish · Jul 13, 2009, 09:42 AM

Before you even worry about this girl, you need to take care of yourself.

You have some serious self-esteem issues. I suggest that you get some professional help (therapist or counsellor) to help you with you confidence level.

As for the girl, she hasn't been responding to your attempts at communicating. So that sends a fairly strong message. I suggest you respect her wishes and leave her alone. Otherwise, you will freak her out even more.

Worry about yourself before anything else at this point.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 09:54 AM

Yeah I've already started getting help.
Thing is, I showed her my arm right after I did it, covered in blood and told her I could do with a good friend to talk to - yeah that probably did freak her out but I was there when she done the same to herself a little while back and thought we were at that level.

Anyway, just being friends we are best friends and it will be hard to sort myself out without her support.

If I had to choose between her being my friend or girlfriend -id choose the latter.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 09:55 AM

Sorry I mean friend not 'latter'
And by 'at that level' I mean being there for each other

I wish · Jul 13, 2009, 09:57 AM

Continue getting help for yourself before you talk to her again.

By talking to her, you will continue to over-analyse all the signs in detail. That can only confusion you more and hurt your progress.

Until you've sort our your personal issues, it's better to stay away from her. Once you've figured things out for yourself and feel much more confident about yourself, then you can try to be friends with her.

Have some patience and focus on making yourself a better person and making sure that you don't make the same mistakes.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 10:21 AM

Ok related to my Relationships post.

I can simply pick something up and cut myself with no mental barriers.

I can do it for no reason at all, and it doesn't hurt.

So can someone tell me why people react so badly to it?

JudyKayTee · Jul 13, 2009, 10:44 AM

Because it's self destructive behavior and "people" find it unnatural and fear it could turn into more destructive behavior, including suicide.

If this is part of a relationship problem, then it should be combined with that thread. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1852759

I think people will see your behavior as a desperate cry for help or an attempt to draw attention to yourself - good attention or bad attention.

You say you slashed your wrists and then showed your arms (still covered in blood) to your girlfriend and you can't understand why she freaked out.

I think the majority of people CAN understand why she freaked out and you need to speak to a professional before you manage to destroy your own life and upset everyone who cares about you.

JudyKayTee · Jul 13, 2009, 10:44 AM

Before anyone else answers, this is not the OP's only post about self harm. Apparently this is somewhat serious (or it wouldn't be posted more than once): https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...rm-375082.html

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 10:50 AM

I know suicide is just a permanent solution to a short term problem and I would never go that far.
Ok il say why I do it, I want sympathy from everyone around me.

Anyway I think I've found myself.
I'm going to send the girl a text saying "do you wanna be mates again? if not then this will be the last text and il be out of your life"
How's that?

kctiger · Jul 13, 2009, 10:52 AM

I think you are making a poor choice. If she wants to get ahold of you, she knows how.

As far as your concerned, I think it is critical you make sure you find a new avenue of release. You don't need sympathy, you need some self esteem. Quit acting like a baby trying to get attention. Who give a fu** what others think?

JudyKayTee · Jul 13, 2009, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by 007bradz

I know suicide is just a permanent solution to a short term problem and i would never go that far.
Ok il say why i do it, i want sympathy from everyone around me.

anyway i think ive found myself.
im gonna send the girl a text saying "do you wanna be mates again? if not then this will be the last text and il be out of your life"
hows that?

She's already kicked you out of her life - no need to contact her again. If I were the girl after the arm slashing episode I would consider you to be a stalker.

Don't contact her.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 10:57 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

She's already kicked you out of her life - no need to contact her again. If I were the girl after the arm slashing episode I would consider you to be a stalker.

Don't contact her.

Really?
She did talk to me today for an hour

Woudnt say that was being kicked out.

makapuu · Jul 13, 2009, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by 007bradz

I know suicide is just a permanent solution to a short term problem and i would never go that far.
Ok il say why i do it, i want sympathy from everyone around me.

anyway i think ive found myself.
im gonna send the girl a text saying "do you wanna be mates again? if not then this will be the last text and il be out of your life"
hows that?

It's not enough to say, "I would never go that far". You are still not "OK". You have self-esteem issues because you want sympathy from everyone around you. You also want to guilt your girlfriend into getting back together by saying, "look what I did to myself because of you."

If you don't seriously deal with your issues, you'll be the drama king no one wants to hang around with.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by makapuu

It's not enough to say, "I would never go that far". You are still not "OK". You have self-esteem issues because you want sympathy from everyone around you. You also want to guilt your girlfriend into getting back together by saying, "look what I did to myself because of you."

If you don't seriously deal with your issues, you'll be the drama king no one wants to hang around with.

Woa...
I didn't do it 'cause of her (had no reason to either)
And I would not try to blackmail her either

The one thing I'm confident in is short distance running.. and gaming
I realised ever since I stopped playing call of duty 4 online I've changed.. time to pick up my controller again I guess

JudyKayTee · Jul 13, 2009, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by 007bradz

woa...
i didnt do it 'cause of her (had no reason to either)
and i would not try to blackmail her either

the one thing im confident in is short distance running.. and gaming
i realised ever since i stopped playing call of duty 4 online ive changed.. time to pick up my controller again i guess

You didn't do "it" because of her but you showed "it" to her for whatever reason? You've already said you cut yourself for the attention.

If video games have taken over your life, have taken the place of solving your problems, if your choices in life are video games or cutting yourself, I still think you need to talk to someone.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 11:38 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

If video games have taken over your life, have taken the place of solving your problems, if your choices in life are video games or cutting yourself, I still think you need to talk to someone.

I'm f*ed up aren't I?
I can't talk to someone

I'm 14...

JudyKayTee · Jul 13, 2009, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by 007bradz

im f*ed up arent i?
i can't talk to someone

im 14...

I don't know about that - I do know you need to talk to someone.

I question whether you should be posting on the adult boards and not the teen board.

s_cianci · Jul 13, 2009, 11:48 AM

Unfortunately she probably thinks you're a bit psycho after the cutting stunt you pulled. And it seems like there may be other deeper-rooted issues that you need to address. Cutting yourself is not normal behavior, even when trying to get someone's attention. Talk to a trusted professional.

007bradz · Jul 13, 2009, 11:49 AM

And there we go, people make judgments based on my age.
Yeah il go to 'Teen'
At mcdonalds il ask for 'Teen' size

Yeah limit myself because of my age
Woo