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    sa33's Avatar
    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:15 AM
    Psychology of crying when speaking
    I found myself so emotionally weak lately. Every time I try to speak about my opinion or thoughts (only about my own life) I start crying. The crying is so quickly that I never get to finish the sentence and I have to pause or stop the conversation. Often I try to finish it but with funny voice and tears. It is so embarrassing and I want to be strong and clear.
    flossie's Avatar
    flossie Posts: 1,903, Reputation: 181
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    #2

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:17 AM

    Do you have a question?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #3

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:19 AM
    How about the Psychology behind the fact that you are so emotional at this time?
    Do you have a solution or a cause?
    sa33's Avatar
    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sa33 View Post
    I found myself so emotionally weak lately. Every time I try to speak about my opinion or thoughts (only about my own life) I start crying. The crying is so quickly that I never get to finish the sentence and I have to pause or stop the conversation. Often I try to finish it but with funny voice and tears. It is so embarrassing and I want to be strong and clear.
    I want this crying to stop? I don't know why it happens?
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    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    How about the Psychology behind the fact that you are so emotional at this time?
    Do you have a solution or a cause?
    I am not sure, I am a happy, optimistic person and I just want to stop crying. I feel like a little girl and I hate that feeling. I was not like this before.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #6

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sa33 View Post
    I am not sure, I am a happy, optimistic person and I just want to stop crying. I feel like a little girl and I hate that feeling. I was not like this before.
    How old are you?
    Determining a cause and addressing it may help you handle the emotions better.
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    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    How old are you?
    Determining a cause and addressing it may help you handle the emotions better.
    How do you think I can determine the cause? I am aware of myself and everything that happens to me but how do I find out the reason for my crying. I found out when I try to talk to my mom about something that we disagree on (about my life) that always happens.
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    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:58 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by flossie View Post
    Do you have a question?
    I want to know why I cry? How can I stop it? How can I find out the cause of it?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #9

    Jul 13, 2009, 07:58 AM
    Do you not feel like you mother is listening to you?
    Do you feel a loss of control in the situation you are discussing?
    Is it happening only in your conversations with your mother? Is it happening at school?
    Is there a reason that you feel like it is weak to cry other then the affects on your voice and demeaner?
    sa33's Avatar
    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jul 13, 2009, 08:10 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Do you not feel like you mother is listening to you?
    Do you feel a loss of control in the situation you are discussing?
    Is it happening only in your conversations with your mother? Is it happening at school?
    Is there a reason that you feel like it is weak to cry other then the affects on your voice and demeaner?
    I am sorry if I made the impresson that I am young. Maybe my condition is like a young kid (even worse now). You actually opened up something else for me. Yes my mom and I lived apart for so many years and it has been so hard for me every time I want to talk to her. But it also happens when I am in a really hard situation to make up my mind about a life desecion. Yes, I feel crying "in front of others" is weak especially when you are trying to make your point.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #11

    Jul 13, 2009, 08:45 AM
    I am not sure how to help you control your crying, I feel it is very human to be emotional when something is emotionally bothering us. I understand that if you feel that crying is 'weak' you will have difficulty handling being emotional in the presence of others.

    It sounds to me like situational anxiety that you are feeling and the crying is a symptom. If it bothers you greatly, you could discuss it with your physician to determine if there is anything that you can take when you feel the situation may cause a crying episode. Other than that or just dealing with it because it does happen to a lot of us, I don't have any suggestions, so wait for some additional feedback as well. Good luck to you.
    flossie's Avatar
    flossie Posts: 1,903, Reputation: 181
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    #12

    Jul 13, 2009, 09:52 AM

    I haven't seen your age anywhere but could it be a hormonal thing. You really should discuss this with your physician. If it IS hormonal then you really can't control your sensitivity without some medical help.
    sa33's Avatar
    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jul 13, 2009, 09:53 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    I am not sure how to help you control your crying, I feel it is very human to be emotional when something is emotionally bothering us. I understand that if you feel that crying is 'weak' you will have difficulty handling being emotional in the presense of others.

    It sounds to me like situational anxiety that you are feeling and the crying is a symptom. If it bothers you greatly, you could discuss it with your physician to determine if there is anything that you can take when you feel the situation may cause a crying episode. Other than that or just dealing with it because it does happen to alot of us, I don't have any suggestions, so wait for some additional feedback as well. Good luck to you.
    Thank you for your help. :)
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    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jul 13, 2009, 09:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by flossie View Post
    I haven't seen your age anywhere but could it be a hormonal thing. You really should discuss this with your physician. If it IS hormonal then you really can't control your sensitivity without some medical help.
    I am 33 and I know that hormonal stuff could effect women greatly but this is only at specific times (when I need to speak up) so I think it is due to other reasons.
    Thanks for your comment. :)
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    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #15

    Jul 13, 2009, 12:10 PM
    There are triggers to any emotion that overwhelms you in such a way.

    I think there is a cause, and you are just not putting the pieces together.

    I would recommend you get a diary. When the crying starts, try to be cognizant of your surroundings, who you are speaking to, what the topic of the conversation was, were there any warning signs. Make entries every day, at a quiet time when you can reflect on the day.

    Sometimes the crying may be caused by knowing that you will be expected to talk about a subject or topic that IS emotional for you. Instead of going there, excuse yourself, and move away from the situation.

    If this helps, there was a man in my life, who, by his very presence, caused me to shake uncontrollably, on the inside. I was terrified to move, talk, think. It was a panic that was overwhelming, like a very dark energy zapping me of control. He has died now, but there was nothing wrong with me, it was very specific to this man, and his energy.

    Also when I hear bagpipes, tears jump out of my eyes and I'm a bubbling idiot. I am first generation Canadian, and all my family history is Scottish, and I grew up with bagpipes, but yet, something about that first note, causes this reaction, and there is nothing I can do about it.

    It may be that you will find the solution to stopping the crying, is what you can figure out the cause is. You may be affected by a certain type of individual, or a certain topic of conversation, or certain circumstances socially. If you can write your thoughts out in a diary, and keep an eye out for patterns, you may realize just what is causing this.

    It can sometimes provide amazing insight to read back over a diary entry from two weeks ago, after you have just finished writing out an experience from today.
    sa33's Avatar
    sa33 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Jul 13, 2009, 01:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake2008 View Post
    There are triggers to any emotion that overwhelms you in such a way.

    I think there is a cause, and you are just not putting the pieces together.

    I would recommend you get a diary. When the crying starts, try to be cognizant of your surroundings, who you are speaking to, what the topic of the conversation was, were there any warning signs. Make entries every day, at a quiet time when you can reflect on the day.

    Sometimes the crying may be caused by knowing that you will be expected to talk about a subject or topic that IS emotional for you. Instead of going there, excuse yourself, and move away from the situation.

    If this helps, there was a man in my life, who, by his very presence, caused me to shake uncontrollably, on the inside. I was terrified to move, talk, think. It was a panic that was overwhelming, like a very dark energy zapping me of control. He has died now, but there was nothing wrong with me, it was very specific to this man, and his energy.

    Also when I hear bagpipes, tears jump out of my eyes and I'm a bubbling idiot. I am first generation Canadian, and all my family history is Scottish, and I grew up with bagpipes, but yet, something about that first note, causes this reaction, and there is nothing I can do about it.

    It may be that you will find the solution to stopping the crying, is what you can figure out the cause is. You may be affected by a certain type of individual, or a certain topic of conversation, or certain circumstances socially. If you can write your thoughts out in a diary, and keep an eye out for patterns, you may realize just what is causing this.

    It can sometimes provide amazing insight to read back over a diary entry from two weeks ago, after you have just finished writing out an experience from today.
    That makes so much sense and I am going to start writing down and paying more attention. I am sure somewhere this whole thing started cause I was not like this from the beginning. I know this clearly that any topic related to my life desecion making is so emotional for me and the other thing I know is when someone tries to give me advice about my life so when they review some stuff in my life I start crying too. I wish I was not so emotional about it. Thanks for your post, it really helped me look at it differently and want to find out now. :)
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #17

    Jul 13, 2009, 01:24 PM
    That is great!

    I think you will find some common denominators, and then when you identify them, you'll know better how to anticipate when conversations are moving into territory you don't want them to.

    Be as critical as you can, and write out as much detail as you can remember.

    Best of luck in your journey to find answers.

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