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ShadyDealer · Oct 22, 2006, 12:36 PM

Hi, brief intro, met a great girl on holiday and have have seen each other now three times. We often have some form of contact whether its, text messages, instant messaging online and more rarely by telephone to.

We live about 2-3 hours away, traffic dependent! Anyway, we enjoy each others company and really get on well. I get excited when the thought of her coming up to see me, and me going down to see her. Although, quite affectionate, I in no means act a wuss boy, to clingy etc etc and have not given too much away in regards to feelings, although any girl would or should pick up on the Cock and funny jibes I throw in her direction.

Im just curious on how others have got on with a situation not to different from my own.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks :)

rkim291968 · Oct 22, 2006, 01:17 PM

Me and my girlfriend (now my wife of 19 years) dated for a year when we lived about 350 miles apart. We met 1 - 3 times a month, mostly on weekends, used phone calls, letter. This worked fine. So, if there is a strong desire, you can certainly do it.

In fact, it may work for you better. 2 - 3 hours distance is enough to prevent you two from meeting too often and wearing out the relationship prematurely.

Go for it.

Wildcat21 · Oct 22, 2006, 01:32 PM

They rarely work. Trust - trsut always fails.

Go to this site and read the free articles on how to survive a LDR - www.lovetactics.com

ShadyDealer · Oct 22, 2006, 01:45 PM

Thanks for quick replies folks. I can see both sides to the what both of you are saying! This is where I'm at a cross roads with where to go next. I wouldn't say trust was a major issue with me anmore than what it would be with her, (I don't think)

Although Im only just kind of finding my game as such, I've been doing pretty well at just leaning back ans taking things as they come. Guess its now a little different now I've found someone who I think is great. Not that id ever mess birds about, I've just been far more laid back, too much so in many cases and its been me that's pushed them away.

Out of interest, would you say a woman finds it harder to trust a male than a male trusting a female?

Ps, thanks rkim291968 for the slightly more positve reply!

JoeCanada76 · Oct 22, 2006, 01:50 PM

It is good for a certain amount of time. At the same time though if anything is going to happen and things are going to eventually work out. Somebody needs to come closer to the other one. At some point if things are going really good but know one is making a move to get closer then one or both will eventually get tired of it and want to make a change. Eigher by seeing each other more by becoming closer or calling it off.

ShadyDealer · Oct 22, 2006, 02:17 PM

Im thinking its not an easy question to answer and every circumstance is different. An interesting answer Jesushelper76, thanks.

Wildcat21 · Oct 22, 2006, 02:20 PM

"Out of interest, would you say a woman finds it harder to trust a male than a male trusting a female?" Goes both ways - depends who has the power - who's MORE needy.

Don't be needy - be busy - don'tcall and e-mail every day early on.

You start 'acting' needy and they will run. Patinece is key!!

ShadyDealer · Oct 22, 2006, 02:25 PM

Oh I totally agree on the keep yourself busy sort of thing. I often leave it for her to get in to contact with me in some form. Even when she does, its often hours before I'll text message her back. So long in fact she's told me it irritates her! Which is only a good thing as far as I can see.

At this stage, its difficult to say who has the power... its been a kind of swings and rounds abouts game. Another darn good answer though. Never thought about who's got the power...

Wildcat21 · Oct 22, 2006, 02:33 PM

GOOD! Managing the communications is key - there is no reason to ALWAYS answer calls and return text right away - she'll love you for it!! BE A CHALLENGE!! Don't be a door mat.

valinors_sorrow · Oct 22, 2006, 02:34 PM

Originally Posted by ShadyDealer

Im thinking its not an easy question to answer and every circumstance is different.

Well, you took the words right out of my mouth AND answered your own question. Bravo!

I have had only what some might reckon is kin to a "long distance marriage" being married to a long haul trucker. Now there's a different arrangement altogether! I don't think however all that much is different about your type or my type really... just as Rkim proves. I like to make people laugh when they ask what's the biggest difference I can see by telling them a truth actually: we have learned to fight fast! LOL

I disagree with Wildcat (not the first time either ;) ) on this one about the trust issues -- IF those are there, distance or not, the relationship has a tough hill to climb. The minor amount of added bad mojo distance puts to trust issues is negligible or someone may be doing a bit of a "duck responsibility by exaggeration" dance there blaming distance too heavily.

The bottom line is NOBODY can predict a relationship outcome since even the most impossible have made it and the most secure failed. Such is the human condition. :p

I am in with Rkim - have a go!

ShadyDealer · Oct 22, 2006, 02:41 PM

Been an education to have have asked this question, even if you think I may have answered it myself. The thoughts of others can either be a comfort or a reality check... theres both here! Lol

Many thanks.

talaniman · Oct 23, 2006, 04:53 AM

You owe it to yourself to try and find out if the two of you can handle this situation. Just be smart enough to know if it ain't happening and know what to do about it. Go for it.

ShadyDealer · Oct 23, 2006, 12:12 PM

Yeah, I figure, what have I got to lose? Better to have loved and lost than not loved at all a? :D