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childofgod79 · Jul 10, 2009, 07:06 PM

So my husband has a very nasty bitter money hungry ex wife. We finally got 50/50 custody last may. It was ordered that effective the 3rd week of June, it would go to week on, week off. So the day I picked up my husbands daughter from the daycare provider, I told her that we had got custody starting the 3rd week of June and that we would not need her on our weeks. She told me that his ex wife would have to give the notice since she was the one that had signed her up there. That is a load of crap, my husband and her agreed on that provider, and it was part of the court order that they agree to a provider. At the time it was only 1sr 3rd and 5th weekends. We had also saw our attorney before we went to 50/50 and he said not to pay the daycare and not to give the ex a penny since there was no new child support stipulation. So anyhow, we paid our week but than once it hit the 3rd week, we no longer paid. We had given our notice, not once but twice, my husband had also told her. At the court date that gave us 50/50, neither attorney got a new dissomaster ran to redo support and so here is where it gets sticky. We thought since it went to 50/50 there would be no child support. Man were we wrong. So we didn't pay her anything. We had to provide care for them while with us for a week. Our expenses went up and hers went down. So she files contempt and so it is almost a year later and we are still going to court over it. What can we do? Her and her attorney are the ones always stalling the negotiations and demanding everything under the sun. we are fed up and want to get this done. Is there anyway we can get this thing thrown out. We started paying after the first court date and after like 3 more court dates and finding out info on the net, we have figured out what past arrears are and what was actually paid and than configured the current amount. She has always wanted the daycare she paid for. I guess the 3 weeks we didn't pay. We want to end this and we have pretty much gave in to everything she wants. WE are getting screwed royal by her, her attorney and our attorney. There is so much more to this thing but it would take to long and my fingers would fall off. Any advice is much appreciated

s_cianci · Jul 10, 2009, 07:21 PM

From the tone of your post I get the impression that no child support order had been established. If that's the case then you and your husband can't be compelled to pay anything. Now once a child support order is established then you can be ordered to pay arrears. This would date back to the time your husband and his ex separated, taking into consideration how much he's contributed to her support since then. If it's been pretty much 50-50 then I can't imagine you being ordered to pay too much in arrears. However, even with a 50-50 arrangement, unless your husband's and his ex's incomes are approximately equal, he'll be ordered to pay some form of child support.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 10, 2009, 07:24 PM

If there was a old or original court order that ordered you to pay support, when you changed custody, you had to also file a motion to modify all child support payments and also any other payments that needed to be changed, If you merely changed custody but did not ask for any other part of the order to be changed, then those parts are still valid.

Normally there will be none ( or very little) support if you have a 50/50 arrangement but that has to be written into your child custody and support order

childofgod79 · Jul 10, 2009, 10:02 PM

Yes there was a child support order that was never changed when custody changed. I think we might just bite the bullet and take what we can get her to agree to. Our attorney was not the greatest in terms of getting things done. Thanks for the info.

s_cianci · Jul 11, 2009, 06:44 AM

Unfortunately I think that's exactly what you need to do ; bite the bullet and try to work out your own arrangement. But understand that whatever you agree to still has to be approved by the court. You can (and should) file for a modification of the initial support order, taking into consideration the current custody arrangement. Like I said in my first response, the most compelling factor will be the difference in your husband's income and the ex's income.

cdad · Jul 11, 2009, 07:22 AM

Have your lawyer run a new dissomaster based on the new custody arrangement. As far as the daycare is concerned you might end up paying even if you don't use it. You can't expect the daycare person to hold to your whim. Your child holds a slot in the daycare. If you want to keep it open then you normally pay. After you have run the numbers then request a child support modification. It doesn't sound like your going to agree on anything. Also try to remember this is your husbands problem and not yours. If you told the daycare anything then it can just be ignored. You need to look at the contract to see what it says.