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Nana222 · Jul 9, 2009, 05:33 AM

Hi
I am asking for my son who is at work. Here is his situation :
He has an 18 month old child they have only been separated for 10 days.
She is psycotic and has been abusing my son. So far she has stabbed him twice, hit him in the head with a full can of vegetables, and tried to kill them both in the car while they were on the highway she grabbed the wheel and stated I will kill us both (Because she wanted to drive).causing them to go across 3 lanes of traffic. He did gain cotrol by force but when they got back to their apt. she called the police and had him arrested for assault. His case is still pending. Also 1 month ago she was arrested for assault and pleaded guilty she is now on probabtion with 2 years in jail hanging over her and has to take anger classes. He did not want to take the baby away from her however she is leaving him no choice she is doing drugs, dealing drugs, and leaving very disturbing messages on my sons phone all with the child in her presence. We really do believe that she is bi-polar because she can be fine one minute and screaming the next. We have no idea where to start as far as custody goes. This is all new to us as we have never had to deal with anything like this before. Money is also an issue he has a job but only makes $9 an hour and finacially we can't help him either. He is living with my husband and I. we are afraid of her and her crazy mother ( They will burn our house down without hesitation) Her Mother has a very long criminal record and has lost custody of all 4 of her children. And also has drug and alcohol addiction problems. Her father is on our side and willing to help us gain custody. She has never hurt the baby however we feel he is still in a bad situation just by being with her. If she gets any idea that we are going for custody there is no telling what she will do. Please help!

N0help4u · Jul 9, 2009, 06:20 AM

He needs to document everything she has done down with the months when she did it. The exact dates would be better if he can remember exact dates.
If she did the car thing while she was pregnant or with the baby in the car then that is endangerment to the baby.

He needs to go to family court and file for full custody with his reasons and ask for a public defender or whatever the free lawyers are called in your area.

Nana222 · Jul 9, 2009, 07:33 AM

We have documented everything from the day he met her two years ago. No the baby wasn't in the car with them. I have the messages she let on both of our phones.I can't prove it but I know she wa driving with the baby in the car when she left them. You can hear it in her voice that she was borderline psycotic when she was leaving the message. She was flipping out in my driveway because my son wouldt get in the car and talk to her ( he is court ordered no to be near her) so I went into th ehouse to get a video camera and she flipped out! and drove off leaving the phone message only minutes later.

N0help4u · Jul 9, 2009, 07:50 AM

Tape recordings can sometimes be used in court in some states now. If not sometimes the Judge will agree to listen to it but will emphasis that he will not let it influence his decision. Take everything to court and let the Judge sort it all out.

Nana222 · Jul 9, 2009, 07:52 AM

I forgot to post that we are in Nh if that helps

cdad · Jul 9, 2009, 05:06 PM

If the person knows they are being recorded.. like leaving a message on an answering machine then it can be used in court. Its only a sticky situation when you have one person doing the recording and the other party not knowing they are being recorded. That's not legal in all states.

N0help4u · Jul 9, 2009, 05:10 PM

. NEW HAMPSHIRE <[email protected]> (Warren Levicoff)
New Hampshire requires the consent of all parties. N.H. Rev. Stat. Ann.
Secs. 570 A:2 (Replacement 1974).

But the site may not have been updated.
If they are leaving messages on a phone answering machine then they ARE well aware they left a recording.

Nana222 · Jul 10, 2009, 06:17 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

. NEW HAMPSHIRE <[email protected]> (Warren Levicoff)
New Hampshire requires the consent of all parties. N.H. Rev. Stat. Ann.
Secs. 570 A:2 (Replacement 1974).

But the site may not have been updated.
If they are leaving messages on a phone answering machine then they ARE well aware they left a recording.

We also have a survailance (sp?) video camera set up in case she does something again when dropping off or picking up the baby. I'm not sure if that can be used in court since she does not know that is there

AK lawyer · Jul 10, 2009, 06:40 AM

It appears to me that the child is "a child in need of aid" as the term is used in my jurisdiction. In other words, the Child Protective Service (or whatever they call it in New Hampshire) agency would want to step in. If they take immediate custody of the child they might be willing to delegate custody to you while this is sorted out.

Another thought, and this depends on your local law, you or your son might be able to get something on the order of what we call a domestic violence protective order, giving you or your son immediate temporary custody. A follow-up hearing would be scheduled in a few days giving the mother a chance to answer the allegations.

N0help4u · Jul 10, 2009, 06:40 AM

Yes video recordings are fine in court.
They are everywhere nowadays and acceptable. Some times the law will even go out of their way to find video for serious crimes.

stevetcg · Jul 10, 2009, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by Nana222

we also have a survailance (sp?) video camera set up in case she does something again when dropping off or picking up the baby. I'm not sure if that can be used in court since she does not know that is there

Yes, it can. Video is different than audio recordings. Audio recordings are very easy to be taken out of context or edited. Video is not.

Nana222 · Jul 11, 2009, 02:57 AM

Now she is telling him she is taking the baby and moving to Colorado I know she can't do it legally. But that will not stop her. Can she be charged with kidnapping if she tries ?

stevetcg · Jul 11, 2009, 03:51 AM

I cannot find where is says, but he needs to file for custody immediately. If he does so and she moves, yes, she can be compelled to move back, lose custody or go to jail.

N0help4u · Jul 11, 2009, 04:09 AM

Yep he needs to get to court asap then they can stop her from legally leaving.

AK lawyer · Jul 11, 2009, 07:52 AM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

I cannot find where is says, but he needs to file for custody immediatly. ...

Clearly.

But the OP needs to know how to make this happen w/o money to hire an attorney.

Focus, people!

That's why I have made a couple of suggestions for either do-it-yourself remedy or getting a public agency to do it.

OPs are not lawyers, and I have a feeling that we are not going to be as successful as an ATC coaching a non-pilot landing a plane in the movies.

Legal aid (public defendant is for criminal cases, not civil as this one) is theoretically a possibility, but it is rare that these services can be obtained in real life (and on an immediate basis, no less)

s_cianci · Jul 11, 2009, 08:07 AM

File a motion in family court. Gather as much evidence as you can. Save all texts and anything else in "writing",electronic or otherwise. Organize all paperwork relevant to past legal dealings. Write down verbatim any verbal statements made, whether in person or over the phone. This kind of "evidence" is not as compelling but it will still help. Also gather up any witnesses you can. You'll have a long, tough battle ahead of you but be prepared. If you can afford it, get a good lawyer who's experienced in family law.