[jane667]

My ex husband since meeting he's new partner refuses to talk to me about seeing daughter. He says she is old enough at 12yrs to arrange times to visit .he also refuses to have her on a Saturday night to stay. He will not answer my questions. What are my rights in this does anyone know?

[Fr_Chuck]

You keep getting that child support check and your child learns their dad is a jerk.

You can not make him visit, you can not make him take his days. You can keep making him pay his child support

[450donn]

Sadly many people are so self centered that they do not have time to take responsibility for all of their actions. Show your daughter love and help her understand that it is not her fault that daddy wants no part of her life. He is the one with a problem. It might take some professional help to allow her to deal with this without too many scars. Please consider some professional help.

[LiveAndLove0923]

This is what I would do: Get a lawyer and seek legal action because he has no right to keep her from you forever. She isn't old enough to arrange it on her own because when I was fourteen I couldn't even arrange to see my dad on my own. You basically, need to seek legal action because that is not right.

[450donn]

This is what I would do: Get a lawyer and seek legal action because he has no right to keep her from you forever. She isnt old enough to arrange it on her own because when I was fourteen i couldn't even arrange to see my dad on my own. You basically, need to seek legal action because that is not right.

Uh I think you misread the question. The father is refusing to have anything to do with his daughter. No amount of legal action will help stupid.

[jenniepepsi]

No, your daughter is not old enough, nor is she legally allowed, to set up her own visit times.

This is a sad story :( and as hard as it may be, there may be nothing you can do other than what Fr_Chuck already said. You keep getting the child support, and help your daughter accept this harsh truth.

My thoughts are with you hon. *hugs*

[s_cianci]

What are "your" rights? It's actually more of a question of your daughter's and your ex-husband's rights. Apparently he hasn't been seeing much of his daughter lately. You seem to imply that it's due to his new "partner." It's certainly a shame that he would willfully neglect his daughter for any reason. But there's little you can do in the sense of trying to enforce anything where his visitation with her is concerned. Of course, he could be setting himself up for a legal battle if, down the road he has a change of heart and wants to resume regular visitation with his daughter. Once he develops a history of irregular visitation it will be hard for him to enforce his rights. Of course, I'm presuming that there's a visitation order in place. If not, then your question is even more of a moot point.

[450donn]

jenniepepsi As a senior member you should understand that that is not the proper use of the rating system. FYI I was not calling you stupid. I was calling the OP's x husband stupid.

[450donn]

no, your daughter is not old enough, nor is she legally allowed, to set up her own visit times.

this is a sad story :( and as hard as it may be, there may be nothing you can do other than what Fr_Chuck already said. you keep getting the child support, and help your daughter accept this harsh truth.

my thoughts are with you hon. *hugs*

Why is it not legal for a child to pick up the telephone and call their father? That is silly. Sure she has the ability to do so. There is no law on any book that states that a child cannot call their parent. My grand son at 8 can pick up the telephone and call me.
The father is shirking his duty as a parent that is the truth and the only truth here.

[jenniepepsi]

Why is it not legal for a child to pick up the telephone and call their father? That is silly. Sure she has the ability to do so. There is no law on any book that states that a child cannot call their parent. My grand son at 8 can pick up the telephone and call me.
The father is shirking his duty as a parent that is the truth and the only truth here.

She can call him any time she likes, but she is not allowed to set up 'meeting times' or 'visitation times' herself. She has to go through her mother. Her mother is the one who makes those decisions. Unless there is a court order, in which case the court order stipulates the vistations, and even then, the child can't change it, or make her own scheduals.

[ScottGem]

Let me clarify some things here. You have no rights to force your ex to be a father. Your only right is to make sure he adheres to the child support order.

I also don't see anything illegal, or even wrong, about a daughter calling daddy to ask if they can visit next Sunday or whatever. As long as the mother is fully aware of the call and the timing of a visit.

[Justwantfair]

she can call him any time she likes, but she is not allowed to set up 'meeting times' or 'visitation times' herself. she has to go thru her mother. her mother is the one who makes those decisions. unless there is a court order, in which case the court order stipulates the vistations, and even then, the child can't change it, or make her own scheduals.

It is not illegal for a child to set up her own meeting times and visitation times that are coordinated with the mother, as children age they do become more involved in the visitation schedules as older children partcipate in more activities.
If fact, in extremely troubled parental relationships, they will suggest that older children partcipate in the non-emotional irrelevant communication. She will then have the first hand knowledge that her father has different priorities then his visitation rights.
This isn't even relevant because the problem is the father not following through with his rights for visitation.

[N0help4u]

I kept pushing for my ex to see his 4 kids.
Don't waste your time and breath. She probably sees he is a jerk and doesn't care about her except at his convenience. Making him see her could end up hurting her worse emotionally if he doesn't care in the first place.

[Jake2008]

I think with the child's mother calling her ex's new girlfriend a 'ho', it's going to take a lot of attitude adjustment to make visitation happen without animosity.

Is it possible to establish mediation?