[dan0000]

Hello everyone.
So let's start from the beginning, my SO and I have been dating for 4 years now. About a month ago we decided to talk a little break because things were getting a little rocky, (ie. We were taking the little things for granted.). Then about 5 days ago, she says we need to talk, well as a male I know that these words are never good news. So I ask her what's going on and she says that she is talking to someone else now. We had a trip planned about a week and half from today to drive and visit with my family. We work at the same place and have the same vacation time asked off for. I have been trying to stick to the "no-contact" rule that I have so often heard about. She has yet to ask for all her things back, including one of her car-keys. But I broke the NC last night and asked her if she would like to go out for a walk, and she answered by saying that her and this new guy had plans. Now whether this is true or not I do not know. I am really close with all of her family and they have already accepted me as part of the family even though we are not married yet. I just don't know what to do about it all. Her sister whom I am close with says that my ex still loves me more than anything and that even though she is "talking" with this new guy that she really does want to be with me and that she is doing this to make me realize how much I do care for her. Does anyone have any takes on this? I don't know what I should do, keep contact? Give her space? Wait for her to contact me? I would really like to marry this girl if we ever get back together, I have already started saving for the ring that we have picked out together. I miss and love her so much. If any additional info. Is needed just ask. Thanks for the help everyone.

[I wish]

Look at it this way. Both of you wanted to go on a break because there are clearly some unsolved issues.

Have you solved these issues?

Do you think that you can solve them?

Is it better to solve them together or apart?

If you get back together without solving the major issues that made you take a break in the first place, then you would not have made any progress.

We can't be sure what's going on in the mind of your ex, but it appears that she's starting to move on with her life. The fact that she allowed herself to talk to another guy means that she's ready to let you go. So if you want to start things up with her again, you better figure out how you're going to fix the problems fiirst and then talk things out with her before she's too far gone.

[jmooney527]

I don't mean any disrespect, but why would you want to marry someone who is doing this to you? If she indeed loves you still, she wouldn't be doing what she's doing.

I know you hear everyone saying NC all the time, but there is a reason for it. It's good whether you want that person back or not. Human nature shows that we want what we can't have, and when you make yourself that accessible you are less attractive in their eyes. It sounds petty on some level, but it's true. If you want her back, then show her you can be alone and you are a strong individual without her. NC will benefit both of you in the long-run... maybe after some time after the emotional dust settles, you might in fact see more clearly and maybe not want her back.

What would you tell your friend who was in your situation? You would tell them to move on and leave her be... it's HER loss. Best of luck!

[Torrid13]

You guys took a break because things were not good in the hood, right? With her talking to a new guy, I'm pretty sure they're not really going to get much better. I'm would start backing up and moving on.

Also, when you're attached to family members of your SO, I wouldn't go for advice on how she feels towards you. If you're close to them, they are more than likely not going to tell you bad news, because they know you'll leave their lives. It sounds like that in this situation. Be careful.

She's making plans with this guy! She's telling you loud and clear that she's not going to come back. So. Don't listen to sister. Listen to the ex. She's telling you all you need to know.

With that being said, go back to NC. I'm sure you don't want to hear "Oh, me and [insert guy name here] have plans. Sorry!" every time you try to contact her, right?

No, you don't.

Good luck.