[Romefalls19]

Don't worry about the right girl, worry about making yourself someone YOU can love, and the rest will all fall into place. If you have a strong center, then nothing can stop you.

[loyalfoolz]

I don't understand why you just didn't join her for drinks if you are so uncomfortable with her hanging out with her guy friends. Get to know them so you won't be so insecure about her hanging out with other people.

Oh you regarding that, actually the first year of our relationship, she always asked me to follow her whenever she goes out for a drink/clubbing. Never fail. I do know her guy friends. But after that it just sizzles out, and when we were on a break, she would go for drinks after work at least 2-3 times a week till 4-5am in the morning. I don't know how she manage to work the next day but she did :>

Well, I don't really mind that but the thing is now she already has a new guy whom she just met on the internet and yesterday coincidentally I bumped into them in the mall. So that makes it hard again to heal. Sigh.

[loyalfoolz]

Today her brother just called me and asked whether I can help in finding a better job for him. I will be getting a good job soon and they are looking for people under me, so I said I can try asking for him.

I don't know why I did that but I guess I have no ill feelings towards him, so why not. If he works with me, I don't think that would bring back any painful memories. I am cool with her bro.

We did talked briefly about her and he said her family is also quite worried about her, her sudden change in behaviour and told me it's not my fault and they feel me.

I don't know whether I am healing or not but I guess I am able to cope better today. Weekend is approaching soon and I know the depressed feeling will come trrow. I hope I will be OK. I used to spend lots of time with her during weekend - from breakfast till lunch and dinner and will talk the whole night and share the laughters and joy.

We have a beautiful dog together, but now she doesn't seem to care for her dog anymore and caring for the dog myself brings painful memories. Should I just give it back to her but I don't think she would be able to take good care of the dog.

Another thing is we have also bought a house together and she is also not paying anything yet and in the future I guess. Taking her name off from the loan and house agreements would just incur additional legal costs, which I think I should not bear the cost.

[talaniman]

We have a beautiful dog together,

If she can't take it, and you don't want it, sell it.

Another thing is we have also bought a house together

Whether you like it or not, getting her name off the property is well worth it, no matter the costs.

Its part of bearing resonsibility, for handling your business, and cutting her from your life.

[loyalfoolz]

Thanks for all the advice.

It has been a yo yo feeling inside me. There are days when I just hate her, but sometimes I miss her a lot, and occasionally I think I would just be nice to her if I bump into her.

As predicted, weekend was the worst for me, even though I hang out with friends, went for drinks, met a few girls, went on dates. But the happy feeling is not there.

It's like as if I can't just click or connect well with any other girls. I would be happy momentarily going out with friends and girls, but once that is over, I think of her again. I still have dreams about my ex which is still not going away.

Hopefully I won't go crazy. How can a girl just forget about all the good times they have gone through with ease. I hope I can do that easily.

[talaniman]

how can a girl just forget about all the good times they have gone through with ease. I hope I can do that easily.

Most time we are in shock and hurt, but the one that dumped us has a head start on healing just because they have given it plenty of thought before they dumped you so not only did they avoid the shock, but are ready to move on once they tell you its over. Dumpees are the last to know and often, there is little warning.

That's why nothing works to change their mind, and they are ready to be friends while your still out in limbo over the whole mess.

[loyalfoolz]

Recently I met a great girl in a posh club at bangkok. We hit it off quite fast and now we are in constant contact.

Really feel good after that and this has totally taken off my mind from my ex. So is this considered a rebound which is consider dangerous waters to thread in? But I really feel top of the world and this has really help tremendously in forgetting about my ex.

But I know meeting your potential partners in clubs usually won't last long. What should I do

[Bluefish23]

Exactly what you are doing! :) enjoying life.
Good on you man.

[talaniman]

Enjoy yourself. The thing is most people enjoy themselves so much, they get carried away, and fail to see things that they should, or make the right adjustments. Nothing last when you use it to death.

[loyalfoolz]

Well I did enjoy myself, much to the extent that I met another nice girl again (a korean this time) in my home country a few days ago.

Much to my chagrin, I could not bring myself to fully like any girl or pursue a long term relationship as still deep inside I still miss my ex girlfriend and fully treasure our past relationship.

Every time I meet a new girl, there would be this hindrance in my heart to fully commit to another relationship as I don't know why I still think of my ex at times, especially when I am alone.

I hope this feeling will go away soon.

[Torrid13]

It's too early in my opinion to pursue a long-term relationship with someone else.

Just sit back, enjoy life, and heal.
Everything else will happen when it's meant to.

[amicon]

Sorry for your pain.am there too.and its going to hurt for some time.you wake up crying and its part of the healing process. It gets better.

[TheAnswer001]

Yes. You may have made a mistake but no-one is perfect during a break-up.

Reading your thread, she is just playing with you. She says and does things so she has the control during the break-up, because it will make her feel better. You have to remember she will be feeling bad about things too, its not just you.

No Contact is the best thing to do, otherwise it just gets messy. If she insists on keeping in touch with you, make sure it is on your terms and not hers.

[loyalfoolz]

Hi guys,

I have been happy for one and half month until 2 days ago till now I feel so depressed and down. I guess I didn't tell that my ex has still been staying in the same rented house but different room. I don't see her at all and she banked in rental through online so that is fine as long as we don't cross each other's path. When I asked her whether she would like to move out 2 months ago, she said she wanted to stay till dec so I said fine.

2 days ago, we had some major tiff due to some petty issue and she immediately moved her things out.(this time permanent) so we argued again due to the non paying of rental and notice period of 2 months.

But somehow deep inside I feel sad that she moves out. I don't know why am I still thinking of her. It's almost one year since when she said she wanted a break ! For those who didn't follow my thread - we got back together in feb for 3 weeks and permanent break at end of feb till now.

And I am currently dating a girl and yet I still think of her at times.

Should this be a good sign that she moves out? At least I can be free from bumping into her ever again and think of her again. Why is it so hard to forget about her? It took me less than 2 months to forget about my previous ex.

[amicon]

Yes it s good she s moved out now you can truly start the healing process.its not a good thing staying under the same roof if you re split up.as for dating someone else I don't think that's wise until you re completely over your ex.rebounds don't really work.

[kctiger]

The good thing, she has moved out. The bad thing, you are dating someone else while still harboring feelings for your ex. That isn't fair to you and especially to the person you date. People are all too often to be alone... being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. We HAVE to find out what its like to take care of ourselves and rely on ourselves. Be single, learn how to be single, learn to be on your own, truly. That's my advice.

[loyalfoolz]

Very true. Appreciate the advice folks.

I enjoyed being alone for a while and moving into another relationship because I thought I was fully over my ex. Then it hit me when I listened to certain songs or go to certain places that I thought of my ex again. Or when I walked my dog or looked at my dog that I remember her again.

I realised this is not fair for both of us. Will try to work things out. Thanks again!

Anyway it's been so long since we broke off, but every time I bumped into my ex, I don't understand why she don't even give a slight smile or acknowledgement. It's like I am her enemy now. There was once, I bought lots of chocolate at the airport and out of thoughtfulness, I gave her a few and hung outside her door. She messaged me the next day and said "are these chocolates for me? if yes, thank you. i appreciate it a lot:>" but then the next time I bumped into her, she gave a bored sigh "haizzz". Sometimes, she comes home she banged her room door loudly while closing it. But sometimes, when she sees me she asked "how's things?" it's weird. I don't understand her behaviour. We already broken off, why still act this way if she wants to remain friends.

It all started after she got into a new relationship in June. Ever since then, she said I am stranger to her.

Before that, once in a while, she will call me or asked whether we would like to meet up for a drink, which of course I try to avoid.

Now it's a different story.

[friend4u178]

Just shows how affective NC is which you haven't been able to fully maintain due to her being under the same roof. Confusion reigns because you can never trully let go properly.

So nows your chance to go complete NC seeing as she's moved out.

No Contact = No confusion