[tinytivo]

Hi everyone. I was home working away on my computer waiting for my wife to come home as she was very late. I tried calling her cell phone and just got voice mail. Later my wife to my surprise told me she had been arrested for shoplifting at the Hudson’s Bay Company. I freaked out at this. This was the last thing I was expecting especially from her. If you knew my wife you would think of her as a shy honest 33 year old who keeps to herself and never causes any trouble. My wife has never been pulled over by the police for driving or parking. Her shoplifting is totally out of character and I do not understand why on earth she did this as a 33 year old. I myself shoplifted a Doors CD when I was in high school and was caught red handed at Sam the Record man. I never stole again as my parents gave me a beating of a lifetime and I was ashamed to face them. Court was scary for me and I never wanted to feel that way again. Fortunately I was 16 and thank God for the young offenders act. I never got a criminal record. Problem is that my wife is 33 and not a child. I never expected this from my wife. I have no children and never thought I would be stuck in this mess. We don’t have much money and live in my father-in-law’s house and I lost my job 5 months ago as an electronic tec. I have a hard time writing as my spelling and grammar is extremely poor. I have since started my own website and business to try to make a predictable future that I could control and because I am having a hard time getting a job. I am scared as she has to go to court on August 11 2009. We are to go to Europe August 18th for my nephew’s baptism and if my wife has a criminal record she can’t ever leave Canada to go to Europe or the USA to Disney world if we have kids. What can I do so she does not have a criminal record? Honestly I do my best as a husband to take care of her I do odd jobs to pay the bills and feed ourselves. We never go out to the movies or restaurants just to make ends meet. I can’t really afford a lawyer and I only have 2,000 saved up in the bank. Do I need a lawyer? I know she is guilty as dose she but honestly can’t afford a Lawyer to defend her or get her off with a warning. On top of this all The Hudsons Bay Company has put in place a "civil recovery program" that "requires a shoplifter to pay for a portion of the costs incurred as a result of their apprehension. According to several posts I read on the net fining offenders in some cases over $5000,00 I have no ware that amount of money and don’t know what to do. My wife is throwing up crying and swearing it was her first time she ever did that. I got married at 18 and am now 33 as she is and never saw her steel a thing until now. So I have to believe her wane she says she will never do it again. I don’t know what to do and am scared because of her past she has wanted to kill herself when she was depressed. I remember those horrible events and see that her shame is eating her up inside as she feels she betrayed my trust. I admit I was mad at her and said many bad things like “thanks allot now every dime we have is going to have to go to the lawyers and the Bay over a stupid braw you stole you thief! We can never go to the USA or Europe again because of you!” I was angry and said that to her. This is how I felt. Now she is like a zombie crying nonstop and throwing up in the washroom. I don’t condone theft and I really know and feel she learned her lesson. How can I put this in the past and go on with our lives. I do everything I can as a husband to have the essentials needed to live and to buy essentials. I guess I failed if she found the need to steal something we could have paid for. Please help me. Who do I call?:(

[bluehazel23]

Goodness hun, that sounds really bad. First you should take a deep breath... And know that in the end everything is going to be OK, and that you cannot change the past--Only deal with the present... And keeping a good head on your shoulders will really help things out a lot for you and your wife. (Being able to think clearly in situations like this is very important)
If you are religious I would recommend preying about this, and putting your faith in God.

Also, I don't know anything about the law (especially Canadian law) but if you cannot afford a lawyer you should be able to get a public-defender for free. You should start calling your local government officials (the courts, jailhouse, private lawyers, etc.) and asking them questions/advice pertaining to your dilemma. Usually those people are very knowledgeable and will offer free advice.

[twinkiedooter]

Canadian shoplifting situations have been asked and answered on this site numerous times. Use the search section and you'll find your answers. JudyKayTee has spelled the process in great detail here for you on AMHD.

[tinytivo]

Thanks for every ones help! Really.