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alicia_rnh · Jul 6, 2009, 02:18 PM

There's this guy in my year, ben, who I have known since middle school.. so a good 3 years or so. It was only this year we started getting quite close, he will kiss me and cuddle me, stroke my legs, hands, arms, face and everything and not care what people thing. But when I'm not there he does the same with other people but not as much with them as he does with me. The thing is I don't think he knows he's doing it! People say he likes me and that its really obvious and I was wondering because he's really starting to mislead me and make me think he likes me, and I don't want to like him if he's just going to play me! What can I do? Thanks!

ajGambino · Jul 6, 2009, 02:42 PM

Well technically, you guys aren't together so you can't say you're getting played.

But if you were to get serious, RED FLAG. If you know he's doing this to other girls, what makes you think you're any different? I'd stop the intimacy between you two and just be friends. Save yourself a bit of heartache and don't get any closer.

Alty · Jul 6, 2009, 02:49 PM

he will kiss me and cuddle me, stroke my legs, hands, arms, face and everything and not care what people thing. But when I'm not there he does the same with other people but not as much with them as he does with me

If he had sex with other people but not as much as he does with you, would you be okay with that?

If not, find someone else.

He's not playing you yet, because you aren't together, but I don't think he'll change if you two got together.

Better to keep him as a friend.

alicia_rnh · Jul 6, 2009, 03:15 PM

No no I don't mean sex, I mean just general touchiness, he's a virgin for a start! But yeah, I think its better to keep him as a friend, no matter how hard... thank you!

Alty · Jul 6, 2009, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by alicia_rnh

no no i dont mean sex, i mean just general touchiness, hes a virgin for a start! but yeah, i think its better to keep him as a friend, no matter how hard... thankyou!

I never said he was having sex, it was an example.

You said he kisses and touches you and others, but you the most. I asked how you'd feel if he had sex with you and others, but you the most. It amounts to the same thing.

He's not ready for a commitment to one girl, so yes, the friend zone is where it should stay.

An aside. Stop letting him fondle and kiss you. As a friend he doesn't have the right and allowing him to do this sends mixed messages. Also, he has to learn to keep his hands and lips to himself.

N0help4u · Jul 7, 2009, 12:40 PM

I wouldn't exactly call him a player technically. But what he is doing falls in the same playing with your emotions.
Some guys are just popular and take what attention they can get from girls. They think the girls are flattered by the attention from them and don't look at the fact they are toying with their emotions.

I would either tell him that you don't appreciate being another girl on his list or just flat out say please don't touch me it makes me think you like me more than I know you do.

jaimie02 · Jul 7, 2009, 12:46 PM

So I know exactly how you feel. Three Years ago I was in the same situation.

This guy was like that with me.. a lot. And he was like that more so with me than any of my other friends, although he was very touchy feely.

Just as I started to fall for him, out of the blue came a girlfriend that he is still with today... So becareful.