[haileyblue]

Hi, I am 23 and my boyfriend is 47 and I am pregnant with his child. Yes before people ask the pregnancy wasn't planned but we are happy and excited! My main problem is that even though me and my boyfriend love each other very much and we have been together for over 2 yrs, we don't have a problem with our age difference and neither does his familey and our friends the only people who have a problem is my family. My dad isn't happy about it and but he is excepting it because he is very understanding but my mum hates it and it is starting to cause a rift between me and the family. I am trying to keep everyone happy but it's stressing me out and I feel that in the end someone's feelings are going to be hurt and it will most probebly be mine. My partner is really helping as he is happy not to meet my parents until they are ready even though he wants us all to meet but my mum keeps putting it off. Am I really asking too much or am I just being selfish to think that my family should be more supportive toward me and is the age gap really too much if we love each other?? Any advise would be helpful!

[jmjoseph]

Love has no rules. Who knew you would find it with someone twice your age? So what, it's legal. It's a shame that you can't enjoy yourself though. You need to tell your mother that you are trying to be happy, but she's getting in the way. Is this guy treating you like a lady? Is he doing all the "right" things? If so, then enjoy your life, enjoy your love, and most importantly enjoy that new baby that's going to be here soon. Your boyfriend may not be the one that your mother would have picked out for you,but then again, no man is good enough for most mothers. Tell her that he treats you good and to jump aboard the grandma train. Good luck and GOD bless you.

[kctiger]

Only a big deal if you make it one. You two have a child on the way, so that is the big deal. Worry about things you can control, not things you can't. Opinions are like a$$ holes, everyone has them... even your friends.

[dreamingartist]

What's going to happen is you will be 33 / 57

43 / 67

53 / dead

That's the only prediciment I see is that in your 50's you will be alone and if you aren't alone you will be taking care of his ailing health. It's a little too late now, but that is one of the main reasons that people marry the same age group or close. Once you pass a certain age you can be in love with whoever, but health doesn't share the same boundaries. That is why your parents are not happy, because they don't want to see you suffer or have hardache later in life. Of course, you could die any time and he could be alone, but I am just going on the average life expectancy if nothing bad happened...

[artlady]

The only thing that should concern your parents is if he is treating you well.The man should be judged on who he is ,not on how old he is.

Clearly,you are together for the long haul and Mum either needs to accept it or have a less than satisfactory relationship with you.

She is making that choice,not you.If you need to distance yourself from her to make her see the light,than do so. You have a child coming and your mental health is important for your new family.

As you get older you will find that what your parents think ,while still important,is not vital to your happiness.

[jenniepepsi]

There is nothing wrong with that gap at all. If you love each other, as it seems you do, then it doesn't matter.

I do agree, that it will be hard on you when he dies when you are only in your 50s or 60s, however a happy life together is worth it.

[makapuu]

It is unlikely that a man in his late 40's could find a woman his age to bear his child. You both want this child and I'm sure you will be loving parents.
I have a friend that is 40 and her husband is 65. Their 2 kids are adults. She is filing for divorce and will get a huge chunk of his retirement money to support herself because she made a career sacrifice along the way. He had a gorgeous trophy housewife for 20 years, and I think he knew this time would come.
So it's your life, you have control.

[N0help4u]

You are happy. You have a new family now. You need to tell your mother that you are happy and if she wants to create problems where there are none you don't want to have to choose between her and your new family so please keep her opinions to herself.
Tell her that at least you have a mature guy instead of a relationship that ends crummy like a lot of younger people.

[Justwantfair]

My parents have a twenty year age gap. They have been married for over 25 years. In fact, my father is older than my maternal grandmother.

While the age difference wasn't apparent to the family when they were younger, as they aged the differences become more and more overwhelming. My father who is now retired, while my mother works FT and often the quarrelling is more often now because she in her 40s is irritated by the hearing loss, memory loss, homebody individual while she is still in her prime. Only time will tell how the difference will effect you.

[talaniman]

Make yourself happy with the family with your man, and let the rest take care of itself later. You can't change the feelings, or actions of others, so don't force anything. You don't have to, that's their concern. You have enough on your plate making a happy home.

Mothers usually get soft when they see their grandchildren any way.

[nadine22]

Hey... I'm in the same boat... I'm 22 and my partner is 46 been together now only 6 months but we have known each other for over a year... but the problem with mine is not my parents its my nans opinion that is censoring me since she is only 10yrs older then my partner... and my partner is 7yrs older then my mum lol

Luckily my mum and the family I'm close too have accepted it since the word go but still his family doesn't know... mainly because he has 4 teenage children with his ex wife and his oldest is only 3 yrs younger then me... so don't worry there are people out there in the same boat but just enjoy it while you can... yeah you may only have 35yrs tops left in your relationship but its so worth it if this is the loving relationship and family you always wanted.

Ooo just noticed you posted this a yr ago... hope everything is going well and you have a beautiful healthy baby and your mother as finally seen the light