[dahlialine]

Recently things have been amazing. He has been inviting me everywhere he goes and calling me every day. We were on the verge of getting back together. He has said things to mutual friends like "I can't imagine myself being with any other girl". He said he was going to ask me back out when the time is right.
We had been in a relationship before and things were great. We broke up because he started feeling insecure about himself and was having family and school issues.

Everything was great until last night.. We were at a party and I had a little too much to drink. We were snuggling together and flirting.. but then I would get upset from missing the way we had been before :/.. I think he was also upset because guys he didn't like at the party were flirting with me. It was very confusing and I remember him saying "maybe I'm just letting you go". I got up and drank more and when he came by me to make sure I was okay but I got up and left again.

I didn't know what I was doing. I made poor decisions. Things have been great but why did he take a 180 turn out of the blue? He hasn't been responding to me. I told him sorry and that I didn't know what I was doing. And if it makes him happier that we don't talk then okay. If not then contact me soon..

I'm not sure where we're at, and I'm not sure what to do.. help me please

[Wondergirl]

I think he'd rather be with a girl he can have all to himself and not have to share with the rest of the room. You chose to drink and to continue drinking (and enjoy all the flirting). Of course you knew what you were doing. You could have stopped.

Next time have a Pepsi with lots of ice in it.

[Gemini54]

I read a couple of your other posts, and it seems that you've been having this on/off issue with your ex for ages - well, at least a year.

There is a pattern here - it goes well for a while between you and then it all goes pear shaped as soon as it starts to get too close again.

For some reason you have this push-pull thing going on between you. It just takes a couple of drinks for it all to disintegrate - you get upset and push him away when you're drunk - he shows you attention and you walk away, and now you wonder why he won't talk to you?

Poor decisions seem to be a mark of this relationship - the poor guy's probably totally confused because you can't get it together and be consistent with him.

You've tried for over a year with the on/off thing - ask yourself if it's really worth it? He clearly has doubts about your maturity, so perhaps you should give it some thought also.

[dahlialine]

I read a couple of your other posts, and it seems that you've been having this on/off issue with your ex for ages - well, at least a year.

There is a pattern here - it goes well for a while between you and then it all goes pear shaped as soon as it starts to get too close again.

For some reason you have this push-pull thing going on between you. It just takes a couple of drinks for it all to disintegrate - you get upset and push him away when you're drunk - he shows you attention and you walk away, and now you wonder why he won't talk to you?

Poor decisions seem to be a mark of this relationship - the poor guy's probably totally confused because you can't get it together and be consistent with him.

You've tried for over a year with the on/off thing - ask yourself if it's really worth it? He clearly has doubts about your maturity, so perhaps you should give it some thought also.

I appreciate your response. It made me look at the whole situation in a different way.
I realize I messed it up this time. It's just been so long and we've both put so much into this for me to just drop it and walk away.
Should I just back off and wait for him to contact me, now? Is there anything I can do to make up for it?

[Gemini54]

i appreciate your response. It made me look at the whole situation in a different way.
I realize i messed it up this time. It's just been so long and we've both put so much into this for me to just drop it and walk away.
Should I just back off and wait for him to contact me, now? Is there anything I can do to make up for it?

Perhaps backing off will help this time - send him a text maybe and let him know that you've messed up. But, I think that there are more serious issues in this connection that you have - if it doesn't work, why do you keep trying to fix it?

[dahlialine]

Perhaps backing off will help this time - send him a text maybe and let him know that you've messed up. But, I think that there are more serious issues in this connection that you have - if it doesn't work, why do you keep trying to fix it?

I'm not sure what's making me hold on to him. I think it's just the idea that it's been so long and we've both tried so hard that I don't want to just give up after one night of being drunk and stupid.
He isn't talking to anyone about what's happening and isolating himself.
People are telling me that I should give it time and if it mattered enough to him, he should come around? Is that true?

[Gemini54]

i'm not sure what's making me hold on to him. I think it's just the idea that it's been so long and we've both tried so hard that i dont' want to just give up after one night of being drunk and stupid.
He isn't talking to anyone about what's happening and isolating himself.
People are telling me that I should give it time and if it mattered enough to him, he should come around? Is that true?

I don't know - only he can know that. But perhaps giving him time will help. Use that time to do a bit of thinking about yourself - since this dynamic is not just about 'one night' but about a series of events over at least a year.