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Jayjay027 · Jun 26, 2009, 10:29 AM

Hi everyone

I have 4 best friends. 2 of which are super extra close friends, and the other 2 r just close friends.
I have asked my 2 super extra close friends to be my bridesmaids, and they said yes, and all was great.
THEN... My fiancé asked 2 of his friends to be groomsmen. So now he has a best man and 2 groomsmen, and I only have a maid of honour and a bridesmaid, this means that the top table will be uneven, and the wedding party will be uneven.
I have 2 close friends, and only 1 spot for a bridesmaid, I have no idea who to choose as they are both exactly the same, and mean exactly the same to me as each other.
I don't have any family I could ask, or any other friends close enuff to ask to be a bridesmaid.

Can anyone help me decide who to choose?

p.s. R.I.P Michael Jackson. Sadly missed and dearly loved. Xxx

ZoeMarie · Jun 26, 2009, 10:35 AM

There's no brother cousin or anyone that your fiancé could ask to be a groomsman? If you'd like to ask both of your friends I say go for it. There's no rule that you have to have both sides equal. I've been to a wedding where it wasn't. It's easier to improvise on a table settings and walking down the aisle than it is to try to chose between to friends.

Edit: you could even have one of the guys walk down with two girls so she didn't feel left out. He might even like that. Lol

jjwoodhull · Jun 27, 2009, 07:50 AM

I agree with Zoe that it does not need to be an even number. However if an even number is important to you, then you have 2 choices. Either find a fourth guy to be in the wedding party (maybe he would like to ask someone from your family) or have an honest discussion with your 2 friends. Tell them you can only ask one and you love them equally. Ask them what they would do in your situation? Maybe one will volunteer to step aside.

If you do pick one and not the other, find another job for the second girl. Ask her to do a reading or sing a song. If they are truly your friends, they will just want to be there for you in any way.

shazamataz · Jun 27, 2009, 09:12 AM

Are the two friends of your also friend with each other?
You could explain the situation to them that you want it to be even and there is only room for one more, you couldn't decide as they are both good friends to you so you would like them to decide.

If all goes well one of them will agree to let the other be the bridesmaid.

For example, if it was between me and my friend for a wedding I would let my friend be the bridesmaid as I would get too nervous.

LearningAsIGo · Jun 29, 2009, 12:40 PM

If you do pick one and not the other, find another job for the second girl. Ask her to do a reading or sing a song. If they are truly your friends, they will just want to be there for you in any way.

I had a similar situation. (We agreed beforehand to only have 1 attendant each) With the two I could not have, I made a bit of a "fuss" over them. I gave them each a single rose that matched my bouquet and I asked them to take a formal picture with my groom and I right after the wedding. It made a nice keepsake photo I gave them both afterward.

jenniepepsi · Jun 29, 2009, 12:42 PM

I may be off base here... but is there any reason why they can't ALL be bridemaids?

88sunflower · Jun 29, 2009, 12:45 PM

You can do whatever you want to do. Its your day. Don't worry about what they want or think. I have seen 2 maid of honors before. I have seen more on one side then another. I have seen it all. You just make it work out for how you want it to be. Maybe one of them can't afford the expense and she will happily step aside.

PaperFlowerz · Jul 6, 2009, 08:21 AM

At my wedding there was actually more groomsmen than bridesmaids. Everyone thought it was funny because one girl had a guy on each side of her when they were walking back up at the end of the wedding. I don't see a problem if there is one more bridesmaid then groomsmen, but perhaps someone from your family could be a groomsmen and then both girls can be a bridesmaid?? In my opinion though, it is better to have uneven bridal party and to not be fighting with your friends on your wedding day. Just a though! Enjoy your big day when its comes!

Jayjay027 · Jul 7, 2009, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by PaperFlowerz

At my wedding there was actually more groomsmen than bridesmaids. Everyone thought it was funny because one girl had a guy on each side of her when they were walking back up at the end of the wedding. I dont see a problem if there is one more bridesmaid then groomsmen, but perhaps someone from your family could be a groomsmen and then both girls can be a bridesmaid??? In my opinion though, it is better to have uneven bridal party and to not be fighting with your friends on your wedding day. Just a though! Enjoy your big day when its comes!

See I'd be happy enough with that, but when it comes to the wedding party doing the dance, who do we leave out?
I really want after we have our first dance, for the wedding party to pair up and dance.
So I don't know how to work around that with an uneven wedding party.

ZoeMarie · Jul 7, 2009, 06:46 AM

The thing about your wedding is that it's your wedding. You can do whatever you want. Do you want to have a wedding party dance? If you do, you could even do something fun where you wouldn't necessarily have to pair up.

88sunflower · Jul 7, 2009, 06:54 AM

Why make the wedding party dance a slow one? Why not spice it up and make it a fast dance. So pairing up isn't an issue.
Or is your dad walking you down the aisle? He is in the party. Ask him to dance with the odd girl is there is one. Or so what, let her or him dance with there date.

shazamataz · Jul 7, 2009, 07:11 AM

I still say let them fight it out amongst themselves.

Takes the pressure off you and I am sure they are mature adults and can come to an agreement.