[chachisplace]

About 3 months ago me and my girlfriend broke up because she said she was confused and needed time and space to think about what she really wanted in life and for her future. She is an extremely intelligent girl and is a straight down the line girl. Obviously this came out of the blue and I was devistated.

When we broke up I didn't give her the space and after 3 weeks she turned around and said that she couldn't handle it anymore and she broke it off for good. So after this I totally left her alone for around 3 weeks, absolutely no contact. Nothing! And she started trying to contact me again. So after probably a week of ignoring her I started to reply and she said after another week of flirty texting that she wanted to hang out.

We hung out one night casually going for ice cream and went down to a nearby harbour and just chatted. And obviously the topic of conversation (although I didn't want it to) turned to "us" and she said that she had made some mistakes and I was the one she wanted in her life and she understands the way I acted.

So we have been on several dates now and she has told me that she made some bad decisions and that I am the one she wants in her life and that she wants this to work for the future because she knows he would be great together. We have also sorted out some issues that caused insecurity and doubt in our relationship.

So we are "seeing" each other again and we have both been hangin out at each others houses and she comes over for dinner, but she says that she wants to take things slow so that we don't rush things like we did before. So we don't smother each other. She is going overseas soon on holiday for 7 weeks, and she has said that she is scared to get anything fully back on now because she thinks 7 weeks is a long time and "what happens if things are different" when she gets back. She says she wants to be with me but what happens if I meet someone. I assured her that I am hers and I am not interested in anyone else. I have always been faithful and always will be. She is holding back affection because she has been overseas before when she had a boyfriend and said that as much fun as she was having she found herself missing being home and didn't fully enjoy the experience. I told her that I want her to have the time of her life overseas and when she gets back I will still be here. My feeling are not going to change just cause I can't see her, we will talk and that.

We also have had some problems and she says that she really wants to let them go but she is finding it hard. But she really wants to. We went out last night for a really nice dinner and a movie and she said again that she really wants this to work and that she does want to be with me but she is just scared!

The thing is I feel that we kiss and cuddle and enjoy each others company so much, and we were previously together for nearly a year, but I am finding it hard to know how I should be taking it slow. Because we both know we could go back to being together again and intimate within 5 min but think it is best not too cause we just smothered each other before. And it makes it harder cause we work together and eveyone in the office knows out problem and it really upsets her. It is such a weird situation and I don't know what I should be doing as to not push her too much, but I want to make her see that I want things to progress further soon but she doesn't want to rush back into things because that was part of the problem before. I feel like she doesn't show much affection or interest, is she just holding off as her way of taking it slow? But I know she wouldn't start it back up if she wasn't 100% sure that this is what she wants.. Any advice ?

[kctiger]

Relax, take it slow, and just enjoy. Nothing in a relationship or dating should be forced or rushed. We sometimes get so caught up in the "end" that we don't even enjoy the "means to that end."

So, enjoy each other's company when you are together, and enjoy your time without each other. Everything else works itself out.

[halflife1820]

Obviously you care about this girl a lot and I'm happy for you that she is back in your life. I believe taking it slow works to an extent cause obviously you guys are going to be apart for 7 weeks from what you said. Im in the military and I know what its like being away from loved ones for an extended peroid of time, it sucks! If she really cares and loves you it will work out, in the mean time before she leaves (without smothering her) let her know how much you care, do little things i.e. flowers, or even better some sentimental thing that reminds her of the good times you two had. She may relize how good she has it and will be dying to come back home from her vacation to be with u!