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FallenAngel9212 · Jul 1, 2009, 01:02 AM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now but have been friends for over a year. His ex is my best friend and he had previously been engaged to her before she broke up with him for another guy. Not long after, we started going out. Last night he called me and told me that she called him and said that she may be pregnant with his kid. They have had scares but this looks for real this time. She is hardly let out of the house (she is 16, he is 17, and I'm 16) and doesn't want to tell her parents since she might not be. I don't know what to do. I really really like my boyfriend, I may even love him. If she is pregnant, he wants to be there for her but not date her. We haven't quite figured out where this leaves us. Oddly, I am not mad or angry. This was before we were together and she is my best friend. I already assured him I wasn't going anywhere and gave her my full support. But if she is pregnant, what with that mean for me and my boyfriend? If my parents find out his ex may be pregnant with his kid I don't think I will be allowed to see him anymore. Our relationship is at a nice, slow pace, the way I like it, we haven't even kissed. He lets me set the pace. I don't know what to do:(

worriedmummy09 · Jul 1, 2009, 01:16 AM

I would suggest you get your friend to take a test before you and your partner worry about what you will have to do. Sometimes people say things like this to try and test you to see how strong you are, you are doing the right thing by offering your full support, I certainly wouldn't worry yourself until you know for definite whether they are expecting or not.

Romefalls19 · Jul 1, 2009, 05:22 AM

Tell your friend to take a pregnancy test, and if it comes back positive, be ready for your parents to lay down the hammer. I wouldn't let my girls date a guy who got another girl pregnant at 17 years old.

Ren6 · Jul 1, 2009, 06:32 AM

Your friend needs to find out for certain if she's pregnant. People lie all the time to manipulate others. Also, you don't need to be getting involved with somebody who clearly isn't responsible about birth control. Trust me, having a baby at sixteen or seventeen is really not ideal.

talaniman · Jul 1, 2009, 07:25 PM

You have no facts to make a decision on, but your so called friend, has no clue who the father is, and that's something you need to pay attention to.

One thing for sure, before you start giving support, and taking sides is get the facts. Be glad your taking it slow with him, and until you know a lot more, keep it that way.

I am suspicious of your friend at the moment, and wondering about the friends that are around you. (your friend and your boyfriend)

Why does she think she MAY be pregnant. I don't want to assume she had a test, but..?

Its not unheard of for a couple that just broke up to have sex after a break up you know.

jaimie02 · Jul 5, 2009, 12:46 PM

1. Why did you go out with your best friends ex

2. Its only been a month, I don't think you love him

3. If she's your best friends why didn't she tell you first

4. He can still be there for her, you can be there for her, and still keep your relationships as is

There is no reason to be mad at either of them. The made a mistake. And you said you're pretty calm about it which is good.
Odds are if they wreere in a relationship long, they may get back together despite what they want right now.

But before freaking out, go over to her house and talk to her. Get her parents to let her spend the night at your house maybe, and you can figure things out together.

I think this is the only way if you are best friends. You probably know her better than you know him.

Good luck

artlady · Jul 5, 2009, 12:53 PM

No point in worrying about what may very well be another close call.
Encourage her to take a test with first morning urine and get the facts before you begin to make any plans.
Since she has had more than one close call,she needs to be more mature about birth control and so does the guy in the picture.

s_cianci · Jul 5, 2009, 01:03 PM

With what you've said, it actually doesn't sound like you have much of a problem here, at least not in the context of what you're asking. There is a difference between being a parent and a lover. Of course, most would say that you (and everyone else involved) are much too young to be caught up in such drama and I'd have to agree. But the principle remains the same. He is not obligated to emotionally re-attach himself to her and she doesn't have the right to expect that from him, whether she's pregnant with his kid or not. You mention concerns about your parents that, if they find out his ex is pregnant with his kid, they won't let you see him anymore. I have to ask, how do your parents feel about him now? And how do they feel about the ex/your best friend now? Your parents should certainly already be acquainted with these two people as it is. That said, you may find that they'll be more supportive than you'd realize if they find out about the situation. And if you stay with this guy and his ex does in fact give birth to his kid then they're going to have to know sooner or later.