[jolienoire]

How do I get my ex back

When most people get out of a long or short term relationship with someone who they typically spent most of their time with, or most of their time talking to they become attached to the person. As time passes you began to notice that the person you once loved in the beginning has slowly drifted in another direction.

Perhaps, their career change, they moved to another city, went to college, joined the military, loss a loved one, or had an addictive personality. As the time passes you began to notice a change in their behavior, mood swings, frustration, breaking up, arguing over things they once loved about you. Some take it as far as flirting, talking to other people of the opposite sex. Things they would have never done in the beginning. You know it is unacceptable to you but again you compromise to keep your relationship alive, meanwhile they still expect you to be exactly the same.

No one likes to admit it’s their fault in a relationship there are always three sides unfortunately their side, your side and the truth.

You are not use to this behavior it’s like someone pulled your security blanket from beneath you and now you are struggling for answers. Where did we go wrong? What did I do? Why did they tell me they love me but continue to change?

Perhaps they have grown out of love with you, or decided they have been in the same place and don’t feel they can move forward with you. You panic, because you sacrificed so much for them: how could they? They were your first love, your first romance. Things you never said you would do you did with them, and how can they throw it all a way over one fight!

The reality is it wasn’t one fight, it was a pin whole that began to turn into a mine, at any second could collapse, and you were not prepared, because they promised to be with you forever.

You break up, you then begin your begging and bargaining and perhaps they would consider talking you back but you begin exhibiting foolish desperate behavior which can become annoying.

EXAMPLES


I promise I will change, just give me another chance (you said that before and go back to the same old ways besides I am not trying to change you)
I promise I will be more in touch with your feelings (Then tell me why don’t you understand it’s over)
Please don’t leave me like this (This makes them run even faster)
Please give me another chance (if they do give you another chance they will be walking on eggshells it will more than likely not be the same)
I can’t live without you (lies of course you can you made it this far without them)
Praying to god for some sign (he gave you one your ignoring it)

In order for someone to realize that they could have potentially loss a great person they need their time alone, without you lingering in the shadows, stalking, harassing, emailing, texting, calling friends and family members for updates.

What you have done is push them further away, and just justifies them breaking up with you all the more. You ask for advice only to no prevail that you get all the answers you don’t want to hear. You have hope.

You know your partner better than anyone else. However, this is not true, you KNEW the person, this person has grown, realize that this relationship could have had a positive or negative impact on them therefore they won’t be the same.

Be careful what you ask for you might just get it! There are 2 tragedies in life, getting exactly what you want, and not getting what you want.

Breakups can do one of two things, Bring you closer or drift you further apart, but if you want the slightest chance in the future. Give that person space to grow. Take that time to grow yourself. Don’t beg! Don’t bargain! Don’t promise!

Because the only person you can really change is yourself, you have the right to accept what upsets you. You have the power to choose the right person. You have the power not to settle. Don’t sacrifice everything, because you may end up losing in the end.

“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.” Unknown


So DON’T HOLD ON TO TIGHT…. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
All is not lost, some do come back it can be years from now but give them their freedom. Trust me. I am with an ex from 10 years ago… Nothing is impossible in the meantime live your life for you if it was meant to be it will be….

[ibrown]

I think the examples for leaving the person alone and giving them their space is a good thing.It just opened my eyes because I really love my ex and he doesn't seem like he want to get back together but I don't want nobody else.So I pray and I am tryn to move on do me and see what happens.Whateva God show me I will accept...

[carlson92]

“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.” Unknown


So DON'T HOLD ON TO TIGHT…. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

Very very good advice there. I joined this forum not long ago so I didn't know this post but your post are really amazing. Awesome proverbs and quotes in them. :)

[jolienoire]

Very very good advice there. I joined this forum not long ago so i didn't know this post but your post are really amazing. Awesome proverbs and quotes in them. :)

Thanks and welcome to AMHD :D