Check out some similar questions!

ouch24 · Jun 29, 2009, 11:26 AM

2 threads merged and edited

Ok so here is the story I've been seeing this girl for about 3 months and I lost my virginity to her and I am really into her.. I've hurt her to the point of really no return by making fun of her and other things, she has just told me she wants her space for a couple of weeks, I went over to her house today and spilled myself out for her and this was when she told me she needed her space.

Well I've put her through some hard times by knit picking about things that are wrong with her... she has cried and cried for me and she recently said she needed her space. She seems that she likes another guy(the same who actually stole my last girlfriend away from me) She tells me that she needs her space to think things through when I know she's really making me wait to see if the relationship between her and another guy is going to work. Im really nsure how to go about giving her space but then again asking myself what she needs her space for. She really has lots of feelings for me, just before I left her house we hugged each other and she cried on my shoulder and didn't really want to let go. Im so unsure on what to do about giving her space if she is just going to get into another relationship and leave me completely out of the picture.
I would really appreciate comments and advice
THANKS A TON

justcurious55 · Jun 29, 2009, 11:51 AM

You shouldn't have hurt her. But now, since you can't take it back, you just have to wait and see if she decides she wants you back. Giver her the space she's asked for. I'm hoping you've already apologized to her. Now you just have to sit back and wait. And if she's not giving any signs of wanting you back within the next few days, maybe even the next week, time to start moving on. Because by then she's mostly decided she doesn't want you back.

redhed35 · Jun 29, 2009, 11:53 AM

This may just be a hard lesson your going to learn.
Why would you make fun of her and what did you expect?
Justcurious is right,your just going to have to wait this one out.

I wish · Jun 29, 2009, 12:05 PM

You can't turn back the clock, but you can change the future. It's unfortunate, but this is a very tough lesson to learn. Hopefully you will be more mature in the future.

As for your girlfriend, she's already told her how much you care about her, now it's up to her on what's the next step.

While you wait for sure, work on yourself. Focus on changing your behavior in case she does take you back (so that you don't make the same mistakes again) or for a future significant other.

ouch24 · Jun 29, 2009, 12:53 PM

I spilled myself out for her this morning.. she has cried and cried for me and I guess it was my turn now, I told her how much I cared and how much she mattered to me, before I left we hugged and she cried while doing it, I really have falled for her but I guess it's a payback for all I've put her through, and I told her that I would never have done it to her again. But I'm scared that there won't be "again"

CrazyThumper · Jun 30, 2009, 10:31 AM

Well.. this is what you do. You give her the space she asked for and let her make her decision on her own. You made fun of her, picked on her, and proved to be a little jerk. Maybe she needs to think about that and if she wants to be treated like that anymore. And if you ARE sorry, and won't be that way anymore... good. If she comes back you can prove that to her. Until then go figure out why you felt it necessary to pick on her and make fun of her, why would you do that.

Thumper

kctiger · Jun 30, 2009, 10:40 AM

Never allow yourself to be an option in someone's life while making them a priority. It isn't fair to you. Regardless of the mistakes you made, I still don't consider myself a Plan B option for anyone.

I wish · Jun 30, 2009, 10:55 AM

The OP is scared he won't get her back.

You already told her how you feel and that you are very sorry. If she wants you back, she will come back to you. You can't force her to come back.

Justwantfair · Jun 30, 2009, 10:58 AM

I say you are young, first loves are about personal growth and learning, take from this experience how you should value your partner and treat them.

If you love someone it is not appropriate to make fun of or hurt their feelings.

ouch24 · Jun 30, 2009, 11:58 AM

Ok so she wants her space but still talks to me... I try to refuse but I don't know what she would need her space for if she is trying to talk to me..

I wish · Jun 30, 2009, 12:08 PM

She's really confused about what she wants. Keep in mind that she's trying to figure things out. Here are your choices:

1) Allow her the communicate with while she's sorting things out. But don't expect anything from her. In this case, you'll just feel more confused, because you will try to interpret every single detail.

2) Leave her alone and do not respond to her communication attempts until she figures out what she wants. In this case, let her know that you will respond when she figures things out.

3) Ask her what she wants and why she keeps contacting you, even though she asked for space.

ouch24 · Jun 30, 2009, 12:57 PM

OK thanks... but you I've been really scared to treat her the way she really is... I'm always scared to express myself and tell her that she is beautiful and other amazing things. Im so afraid of judement and I care too much about what other people think but I've kind of learned that it really doesn't matter what other people think.. and its really opened up my eyes... I guess the quote "you never really know what you have until its gone" is completely true. Ive made my mistake and I really hope I can enjoy my times with her again and treat her the way I've always wanted to treat her..

I wish · Jun 30, 2009, 01:21 PM

Sounds to me that you have just as many problems as she does. Why don't you leave her alone for a while and focus on yourself. You need to gain some confidence and self-esteem before talking to her again. Otherwise, you will fall into the same traps and confusion all over again.

Take some time to read some self-help books. Maybe see a counsellor. Talk to your parents, friends (people who you can trust) about your insecurities. You should spend some time making yourself stronger as a person.

ouch24 · Jun 30, 2009, 01:28 PM

Thanks for your help ill keep you informed and in-touch, thanks again

ouch24 · Jun 30, 2009, 01:39 PM

Thank You so much ill take your advice. I really hope it all works out for the best

talaniman · Jun 30, 2009, 08:25 PM

How old are you both?