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scottycruz · Apr 9, 2009, 12:53 PM

Hey,

I've been going out with this girl for 2+years. When she first met me she ditched all her friends. Last summer I left for four months for a job. It was hard for both of us because I started to text her insanely a lot and calling her which got annoying for her. Since she had lost all her friends, she wanted to gain them back while I was out on my job. Since I texted and called her so much, she decided she wanted to go on a break. Well I came back home and found out she went out a couple times with her co-worker named cory . They went to the movies and stuff but all she did was talk about me to cory and cory talked about his exes to her. Cory said she was in love with my girl but she rejected him and told him that she was in love with me. He turned out gay or starting to lol.

After all that was straightened out everything turned out good and got a job. She has been wanting a promise ring from me for a while and I ended up buying it on Christmas. Now February rolls around and I started talking to my EX girl Adrienne for advice because her boyfriend abuses her. She saw me messaging her on myspace asking for her number and she wanted to go on a break. This was on valentines day. Well she has been talking about her co-worker guy named kirk all the time since he is a "rapper". BTW, we let each other log on myspace and Facebook. Well I log on her Facebook and noticed she was chatting with her cousin paige about kirk, how he is rapper, signing a music label or some and she was going to the movies with him as a date and that she is finally over me.

Well she went to the movies with him and her friend emily and they watched the new jason movie and her friend emily told me she was cuddling with her and not kirk so its all cool. But her and kirk text and call each other all the time I'm with her. If kirk asks who she's with she lies and say she's with jessica and not me. Well I told emily if she's likes kirk and emily told me she doesn't like him at all and that he is just a friend. My girl also told emily "why does scott(me) think I like kirk when I don't". She goes to his concerts and stuff but they are never alone. They don't hug, they just shake eachothers hands and stuff. Kirk is also madly in love with this girl courtney. After a while I start believing they are just friends but its annoying how she texts and calls him while I'm with her and that she can have guys friends but I can't have any girl friends.

Well she saw my porn stash lol and said "i'm so over you" and didn't talk to me for a couple days and now we are just hanging out as friends only and stuff. I did leave for chicago last week and she stayed the night and we ended up having sex. BTW she lost her virginity to me. We had sex about 4 times since we broke up valentines day. We aren't together but she still says she loves me, holds my hands, kisses me, and is all over me when we hang out. She told me she wants my kids and stuff lol. She also wants to marry me. She also gets angry if I don't hold her hands or hold her but its cute so I don't mind.

Well yesturday me, EX, emily, and friend chris all hung out. She had plans with jessica to dye her hair so its cool. I dropped her off but her friend emily didn't want to go because when my girl and her friend jessica are together they are always all up on each other like they never seen in each other for a long time. Emily didn't want to go because she would just sit there. When we go to jessicas house she said come on lets go emily and emily said no and that I will just take her home. Well I didn't but emily likes my friend chris so we all hung out and drove around. She found out I that emily was still with me and chris and got pissed at how I text her friend emily more then her which is kind of true but I have stopped doing that and I do that for advice or what my ex is doing and stuff.

Today I logged on her Facebook and noticed some dude keith that she use to hang out with from a while back asked her to the movies this weekend. Keith is a cool dude but has told her that he is attractive to her. But she don't like him and that he stinks and stuff. I'm not really worried at all. Well I text her and said if she want to hang out this weekend lol. She texted saying she's at work and I texted her saying if she got my text. She replied and said, "Ya i was busy i don't feel like talking to anyone i want some time to myself."

Well her Facebook says, "i'm startinn over" and on her myspace she took me off number 1 lol and put me right besides kirk but I'm still higher than him (whohoo lol). She said she doesn't want me and her to be over. But yet she hangs out with kirk sometimes but never alone. Going to the movies with keith this weekend.

Is going on? She playing hard to get? Does she want me and her to be over? Does she like this kirk dude? Going to the movies with keith (is that the reason she put starting over on Facebook?), Does she just wants to have fun for the time being until being serious again?

BTW she is 18 and I'm 21
The people involved in this are:
EX, girl (my girlfriend)
Emily (girlfriend's bestfriend)
Chris (my best friend)
Jessica (my girl and emilys best friend)
Cory (gay co-worker)
Kirk (co-worker)
Keith (brother of her ex best friend emma so they know each other since 3 yrs old)

scottycruz · Apr 9, 2009, 12:56 PM

I have also asked her to be back with me and she keeps saying that she's not over the talking to my ex thing and my porn stash lol.

mudweiser · Apr 9, 2009, 12:57 PM

Wow- just reading it stressed me out- I can't imagine how you feel.

Best thing to do is run, run away from her I mean.

This is not a good relationship to be in. She's all over the place.

Sarah

Romefalls19 · Apr 9, 2009, 02:20 PM

I was so confused by this crap. So here's a run down of what I think you should do.

1. Stop logging onto each others accounts, it's stupid and pointless and only causes arguments.

2. Why do you feel the need to have so many people involved in your relationship? There are way to many people, things get confused. A relationship involves two people, you and your spouse.

3. Myspace and Facebook do not depict real life, who cares if your not number 1 on her list. Really what is the big freaking deal? If it wasn't for music on myspace I wouldn't even bother having one.

4. Run away from this girl, her head is not on straight and neither is yours

scottycruz · Apr 9, 2009, 02:57 PM

The reason I'm so confused is that we aren't together but we act like we are together. She sometimes calls me her boyfriend and she still wears my ring I gave her. I think she just wants to live her life now until she starts college and be serious with me again. Just seeing if somebody had this before and what the outcome was. When we hang out everything is fine but when we aren't together its like blah lol.

scottycruz · Apr 9, 2009, 02:58 PM

She also told me that I have so much memories with my friends and she never had any because she would always be with me.

Romefalls19 · Apr 9, 2009, 03:47 PM

My ex still until this day wears the jewelry I had got her while we were together. It happens, but you have to erase it from your memory because that's all your relationship is now

scottycruz · Apr 9, 2009, 05:08 PM

Oh OK. But what about the part where we still act like we are together? Like we still kiss, say I love you, and hold each other. Nothing changed besides the fact we are on a break. It's confusing to me.

talaniman · Apr 9, 2009, 08:17 PM

There has to be something else to do besides be with someone who acts the part, but ain't into it like you are. Your being played. WHY?? Because you let her.

scottycruz · Jun 26, 2009, 02:51 PM

Threads merged

Ok somebody help me or talk to me

Well me and my girlfriend had been on a break for almost 7 months now. We were together for almost 3 years. Everything seemed fine. We were acting like we were together and stuff while on the break. Well last Wednesday I suspected her talking to some Chris guy. I never said anything before and kept it cool. I found out they hung out 3 times and made out. I found this out on her chatting sessions with her friend. They also would send pics of each other through email. No naughty ones just face shots. Well I couldn't tell her because she would just blow it out of proportion so I wrote her a letter about this.

I got pissed so I took everything down of me and her and stuff in my car. I called her on Wednesday and said I got some stuff for her. She said, "is it bad or good?" I told her that it was good for both of us. When she got in my car I forgot the letter at my house so we had to drive over there. She was crying on the way there because everything she gave me was took down out of my car.

She read the letter and started crying... yada yada. I asked if it was me or chris and if it was chris then we could still be friends. She said we can't be friends because she lost her virginity to me and that I was the first person that ever did anything with her. She is 18 and I'm 21 and she said the reason she has to go behind my back and stuff was because she wants to have fun and look back at things without me saying no or getting mad. She told me she hung out with him once and that was with his friends and never made out with him. She wanted to look cool in front of her friend she said. She looked back up at me and started crying and said I want to have kids with you...

Well we agreed no contact for 2 weeks. (ugh). When we see each other again we could have a fresh start. She said she might contact me in a week when I get the ring back from resizing that I bought her last year. Its been 2 days and seems like its alrdy 4 days lol. She continues to send pics of her to chris via email.

Couple weeks ago she said she would nvr leave me... And now it looks like she will. She even told me she doesn't even see the chris dude like that. I'm so confused and so is she, so we agreed no contact for 2 weeks.

Think she will leave me for this other guy? Playing me for this guy? Playing this guy for me? Or just doesn't want to be tied down, then she will get back with me?

I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder but how the hell will she miss me if she has this chris dude to hang out with and talk to.

none12345 · Jun 26, 2009, 02:59 PM

She is not confused, I ensure you. I can bet about everyone here will agree.

Is she playing you? She just might not know how to let you down.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder when both have a mutual feeling for each other. When they don't absence creates distance.

I suggest you leave before it all falls apart. If both of you were meant to be, you will find your way back to each other.

Catsmine · Jun 26, 2009, 03:26 PM

She is gone. When she comes back she'll be playing you. Look elsewhere.

scottycruz · Jun 26, 2009, 04:20 PM

Well my EXs girlfriends best friend just called me and said that she is missing me like crazy. She told me she is sleeping with all of her animals I bought her and she wants to text me but doesn't want to sound like she can't keep the 2 weeks thing. She talked about me all day to her best friend. Her best friend also told me she drove by my house while they were heading to the mall and said where the hell was I to her mom and best friend. I guess she might still be there.

scottycruz · Jun 26, 2009, 04:30 PM

And my ex girls best friend asked about the chris dude and said she don't like him and thinks he is gay anyway. She just think he is cute and likes the attention from him. Don't know I'm kind of happy. My ex girlfriends best friend is like my sister and I know she wouldn't lie. She got my back.

scottycruz · Jun 26, 2009, 10:25 PM

UPDATE: Well I went to our local festival today and ended up seeing her with her best friend emily. I saw her but I looked away real quick acting like I didn't know her. She finally cracked and texted me but I ignored it. 30 seconds later she called me. I ignored the call and 10 minutes later I called her. We met up and she looked at me and I can tell she wanted to cry. We hugged and she ended up ditching a couple of her friends at the festival besides her best friend to be with me that night. We ended up hanging out that night. We played beer bong and my friend said if he made it we should kiss. He ended up making it and we had a long kiss no tongue. LMAO it was funny.

Anyway as soon as I was dropping her off at her house she still said we shouldn't talk because that is what will make her love me more. And we were going to start fresh again. When we end up together again we still shouldn't see each other much because it will be back to invading eachothers space. I guess this turned out a good night for me

simoneaugie · Jun 26, 2009, 10:54 PM

When you can allow her to have any friend while trusting her, that she's yours, then you will be ready for a solid relationship. Right now, both of you are playing and enjoying the drama of it all.

Growing old is a prerequisite. Growing up is optional. Do the latter. Figure out what works and what doesn't in a relationship. For me, a guy has to not even be interested in getting information from my friends or from the computer. If he has a question, he'd do best to ask me directly.

Romefalls19 · Jun 27, 2009, 07:39 AM

She's playing the field, and no offense, she's playing you and pretty well if I might add. You take down all her things, she tosses on the tears and BAM you're trapped again. After she gets what she wants(2 weeks without you) she gets out of the car, still talks to this other guy and send him messages. Then making sure you're still available, she tells her best friend, who she knows will tell you about their conversation, that she misses you. Then sees you at a carnival, acts interested but after you two "kiss" she says we shouldn't talk because it will make me love you more.

Let me tell you something, from someone who used to be a player(dated 3 girls in the same English class and none of them had a clue) I would say all types of crap just to get the girl to believe me and continue to hang around. I'd say the most dishonest things, just to keep them dangling. You want to know how old I was when I played these little games? 17 and 18. You don't want to be tied down all the time, but you are afraid to close the door on what you have known for so long, so you keep that "love" in the back of your mind and when you feel they are slipping, you give them a little attention and they are right back to waiting for you.

321543 · Jun 27, 2009, 08:01 AM

Every soldier I know has gone through what you are. We have learned to laugh it off over time and joke about it . We call it the Dear John letter. Every one of us has also said it would never happen to us . It did.
Now, here is what the true experts have came to agree upon through out time and history.
Any woman or man who can't waite for thir brave solder serving thir country with their, life is not worth having. The person who took them can have them. All they are getting is trouble. They are of less moral character. Good riddance to them all.

I shall wash my hands and cleans my heart of them and rise to a new Moral character, for she did not deserve me.

It's OVER, use the pain to heal, grow stronger and wiser. They shall be taken into the pitfalls, and you shall rise up.

talaniman · Jun 27, 2009, 09:17 AM

You wrote this in April/09

She said she doesn't want me and her to be over. But yet she hangs out with kirk sometimes but never alone. Going to the movies with Keith this weekend.

You write this now.

But how the hell will she miss me if she has this Chris dude to hang out with and talk to.

The names have been changed, but the situation is the same. So unless you do something very different with this situation, or next month will be the same thing all over again.

Your either repeating the same mistakes, listening to the wrong people, OR BOTH.

scottycruz · Jun 27, 2009, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You wrote this in April/09

You write this now.

The names have been changed, but the situation is the same. So unless you do something very different with this situation, or next month will be the same thing all over again.

Your either repeating the same mistakes, listening to the wrong people, OR BOTH.

Oh lots of stuff kind of happened during that time. Kirk has a girlfriend and is happy with her and I always thought my ex and kirk liked each other because they would always talk. They were mostly talking about some girl named courtney and my ex was trying to hook them up. She said nothing would happen because kirk is black and her parents will not approve.

Keith and my ex use to be really good friends from back in the day when they were young. He was emma's (ex's old bestfriend) brother. Besides keith KEPT calling her and messaging her saying he loved her lol. She told him to back off calling and texting and he won't. She ignored him and they stopped talking and she thinks he has always been weird and will always be weird. They stopped talking completely.

Don't mean to confuse anybody.