[lola711]

two weeks ago my ex emailed me wanting to get our dogs together; we raised his together. We dated for one year and held on for another and I broke it off completely in Jan. we have emailed a few times, like once, back in Feb, until two weeks ago when he contacted me. So last week we meet at a dog park and are chatting, when I asked him about a camping trip that he was taking... like are you going with your mates... he states that he is going with a women that he has been dating since feb... cool... I ask him if he's serious and he states that he doesn't want to talk about her, because he doesn't want to know about my personal life. 20 minutes later, I know her bio, their dating history, and who has met whom. I stuck around for another half hour and we went our separate ways. Our doggie date left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Why did he want to see me in the first place? We have had no contact in several months and any idiot would had assumed that one of us if not both had moved on. My view is he is an ex and I sure as *&^% wouldn't be calling to see him so that I could tell him that I was serious with someone else. I could understand him wanting to tell me if he felt I had expectation of us getting back, but I never gave him any. This is beyond my scope.. which is probably a good thing.. so if anyone one has some insight I would love to hear it.

[dreamingartist]

Ok.. Here is the insight.

You accepted his invite. So you are partially to blame for seeing him as well as he is for seeing you.

Secondly. He likes you, and you like him.. or liked him. And do you really think he would have badgered you about his girlfriend without you being at least semi curious. I don't. I had the same experiences with my EX. You are like.. yah yah.. its so fun.. dogs woo woo.. oh yah, I'm dating some chick. Oh really tell me about her... no no you don't want to know.. I don't want to bore you with my unexciting life.. OK here is her photo. Isn't she cute? Yah, we are going <insert any activity you use to do, or wish you did>

Its called mind games and jealousy. You want to move on, he wants to move on. But at the same time you want to know he still misses you and he wants you to know that he is moving on, but in reality wants to know if you still miss him. Why would he go to doggie park and tell you how much he wants to be with you if you felt you didn't have any expectations of getting back. He just wanted to plant the seed in your mind of him and another girl. Maybe you will think about it... maybe it will bother you enough that you have to come to a forum and ask someone about it... see its working...

So decide what you want. Do you want to EVER get back with him? Do you miss him... do you miss anything about him.. if the answers are no no no and no, then you need to just never contact him again and move on... because you aren't going to be friends, and its not going to be healthy if you try! Just MOVE on! ORRRR.. stress out about his new girl, think about them having hot sex on the camping trip.. and get jealous and mad and then let your female tendencies kick in where you are like.. I can win this guy back.. this girl is not as good as me, etc etc... its tough!

If you never called him, answered his calls, talked to him, or met him.. would you be on this forum right now asking why he did what he did?

He did what he did because he wants you to care. Either you cater to him and care, or you move on and then he will get the picture and move on.

[liz28]

You want him to want you but since he didn't it pisses you off. Why are you letting him have a girlrfriend get you down when you don't want him? Your only kidding yourself.

I don' think your ex had any bad intentions and if anything wants to be friends. He even told you he didn't want to tell you about his personal life and he didn't want to hear about you but you were curious about who he were dating. Well, curiosity killed the cat.

Don't met up with him again--simple solution.

[jmjoseph]

I think he had to see you again. To recheck you out. Why else would he want your dogs to "meet". He said he didn't want to talk about her. I think he's confused about his feelings , and wants to make sure he doesn't want you any more. Unless he wanted a last fling. Either way, I think it's in your best interest to stay away from him. You said you two were together for year , and then tried to make it work for another whole year. Can't force it. Find you a good man. Good luck.

[Romefalls19]

What were YOUR intentions after agreeing to meet up with him? Perhaps it meant nothing to him, and you are just trying to read into things a little more than you should

[kctiger]

After all the answers and the original question, this could have all been avoided by simply not going. Confusion sucks, and now look at you. Wondering, thinking, asking, contemplating... is it worth it? It's like the old drug commercials: JUST SAY NO!

[jmw0713]

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

Also when conversations move to sensitive topics you don't want to discuss, change the subject. My ex comes up in conversation every now and again when I'm out with some friends. If it starts moving in a particular direction that I don't want to go, I change the subject to something else.

I think it was way to early for you to meet up with him. Time to disappear and get your life back on track. The bad taste and thoughts from this meeting will fade in a couple of weeks. Learn from this experience so you know how you how to handle a situation like this in the future.

In a few weeks you will be fine. Good Luck!

[lola711]

Thank you for your insights. I am not the type of person that does really well with the abstract. Not once in the time that I was with him and since we broke up did I ever imagine having no contact with him, but after our last meeting, I cannot imagine putting myself in such a vulnerable position again. Its funny, for a few days after seeing him I hated him, but with time and a space, you put everything back into persepective and move forward.