[omega_red_08]

My girlfriend says we lost our spark a couple of months ago. I'm about to have a meltdown literally. We had our rough patches and things were going great I thought. This morning we had an argument about me asking questions. I admit I asked her 2 questions about how she was feeling and she tore me a new one. She said that all I ever do is ask questions. That our conversations are always her talking and me asking questions. This is not entirely true. Communication has never been our strongest point. Car rides usually involve her text messaging and me listening to her music. Trying to talk to her or changing the station only makes things worse. It's very insulting to me and I've asked her to not do it but she says she has too.

We fought the entire ride to work and she has been texting me all morning talking about "Are we going to break up?" and all that. It's making me insane. She threw me under the bus and said that our problems are because of me. It's my asking questions all the time, not showing her how much I love her, the fact that I always correct her and the fact that I believe I'm better than everyone else because, as she put it, I have a degree, that is causing all the drama. She says that in the 2 years we have been dating that I have never gotten her a card, flowers or any little thing to show her how much I love her. Apparently, I also put on a mask of a good guy in public but at home I'm a demon. What she fails to see is that, every time and, literally, every time we go out she always gets something. She gets clothes, jewelry, and other little nick nacks that she will literally stand there and cry and pout for.

She fails to see all the big purchases I made for her. I bought a house prematurely because she wanted to move out of our apartment. I told her I planned to save money for a down payment on a house in town but we got a cheap single wide instead. Even now she isn't happy with the home because it's not the one she wanted only the one we could afford. I got a car for her put in my name to get her out of a higher car payment. I spent over 600 dollars on stuff she wanted for our yard, including a small fish pond. I'm in the process of getting a porch and deck built because she wants it.

I'm just so mad at me for going along with her and not standing up for what I think was right. I feel like I can never win. Everyday she comes up with something new to trash me about.

I'm venting and probably rambling but it's getting to the point where it is taking an emotional toll on me. I'm sure she could get on here and post her side and paint me just like I have painted her and it's unfair of me to do this but I have no other way to cope.

I guess the question is: Is our relationship beyond repair? It was going great then this happened today.

[Romefalls19]

I wouldn't say beyond repair, but you two need to have a serious sit down conversation without verbally attacking each other. If neither of you are able to do that, then the relationship is a sinking ship.

She sounds like a stuck up little princess to me, make her get a better job if she wants those finer things in life. You can't have wine on a beer budget

[jenniepepsi]

Its not beyond repair at all. Romefalls19 is right. You need to have some coversations without arguing and fighting and get down to what is REALLY going on. I would suggest couples counseling for you both to have someone there to mediate your converseations and arguments, and to add pointers and advise while you are talking to each other.

'the spark' can ALWAYS be rekindled. Go on a 'fake honeymoon' if you can afford it. (no I don't mean hotel room and sex, I have no idea how old you are)

If you can afford it, go to a theme park, or carnavel, or circus if one is in town. Do something spectacular and FUN. Not just plain old dating.

Good luck hon.

[Justwantfair]

OMG, long time, no talk, welcome back Omega... I haven't read your post yet but I will.
Great to see you remembered us. ;)

EDIT: Ok, buckle up Omega, here I come...

I think that you are an incredible tolerant individual, as one tolerant individual to another, you are only going to be able to bend so much, before you absolutely break.
This isn't the first time that you have been at the breaking point and as humans we tend to dwell on the good and not the bad so that we feel like our experiences are happy. The is whether you are pessimistic or optomistic.
I am always here to listen, but the longer you keep investing, the more difficult the break is. You have had signs in the past that have warned you to exactly Rome's analysis "spoiled brat girlfriend". That is not going to change and remember that we are always in a relationship, needing to accept our partner exactly the way they are. You knew this, now you will have to adapt, if you choose to stay in the relationship. She is not going to stop expecting you to cater to her and all the while not appreciating that you do.

[jolienoire]

Wow she would really prefer flowers over a home, and a car,
You should have told her to tell that to you from the beginning it would have saved you the effort.

The reality is that as time passes people change and they grow out of things, people often time fail in relationships because they always expect everything to be the same as when they first met.
The reality is that with time we change, and so does our relationship and we are the architects of our own happiness.
She isn't happy because she chose to be, and why is she waiting for you to spark up the relationship? Is she taking initiative? Besides complaining about sparks, instead she is trying to set a fire that is bound to burn up the relationship.

Bottom line is that if you change to please her you may run into the risk of being unhappy.

Ask her straight up what she wants and stop playing games. Blaming you for her own unhappiness.

If all she can say is that you are not providing materialistic things like flowers or cards even though it's nice once in a while,

Some women just do not realize that every man is not a flower, card and candy type of guy.


In the end you need to find out what you are gaining from this relationship, what she really wants, and if the both of you want to continue.

[slapshot_oi]

I'm going to disagree with everyone and say that yes, this relationship is beyond repair. How can you have a serious talk with someone when you both, admittedly, have trouble communicating? If you haven't worked out that issue in the two years you've been dating, I highly doubt you can do it now. I realize this sounds oh-so pessimistic, but it's reality.

She probably wants a challenge and you're just not giving it to her. When you write that you always ask questions, I envision questions like "is this okay with you? How do you feel?", it's thoughtful but you're really just asking for her approval. This can get irritating, and she probably wants assertions from you. Her goal is to anger you so she can get some sort of a reaction. Of course, I'm just speculating.

You're angry with yourself for putting up with it, and she's angry with you just because. It's real low to blame anyone for relatioinship failure just as she's done. Don't take this crap, fire her.

[talaniman]

Stop following, and lead. There must be a meeting of the minds, and until then all you will ever have is chaos and conflict. You seem to be so busy making her happy, and failing to see she is not happy with herself. I've read your other posts and see you got back together after a break up, but never resolved the root of the problem, COMMUNICATIONS, so you can work together to build a life you both enjoy.
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Unresolved problems always come back to bite you.

[ZoeMarie]

To be honest, I'm surprised you are still in this relationship. I remember reading your posts a while back and thinking "Who would put up with this crap?" Your girlfriend does sound like a spoiled brat. In my opinion this is beyond repair. She sounds VERY controlling. Don't you want some freedom?

[321543]

First , remember this , Nobody has power over you unless you freely give it .
Stop giving it. She no longer has respect.
If she wants anything, allow her to earn it .
Do something to please yourself once in awhile. During My midlife crises I bought a new BMW ( just for me ). Latter I will give it to me teen . When he is off to college.
She wants to act like a kid treat her as one.

I am lucky, and may not be the right one to give this advice but I do have 4 boys , that I would give this advice too. I try and raise and culture men of integrity and honor. Who will have wives. I also teach them what to expect and to except from a good wife.

[omega_red_08]

I think I'm going to try and see a psychiatrist. I'm about to have a mental breakdown. I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I think I'm going to ask my doctor to suggest a treatment facilty.