[mikey49]

Threads merged, and edited

I have dated this girl for one month. Call me crazy but I fell in love with her pretty much at hello. I'm 34 and she is 23. The times we spent together were amazing and wonderful. I have been hurt several times in the past and I deal with trust issues. I did not date a single girl in the past year, attempting to take a break from dating. This girl came in to my life and took away all the negative feelings I had towards women. We had sex the first night we hung out. We did communicate on the phone for almost a week before as she was out of town. She said she really liked me and trusted me, and that it just felt right.(sex) we often talked about doing certain things together and just getting to know each other in general. She referred to me as babe/baby and asked how long to people should date before they make it official. She told me I was amazing, wonderful, and perfect. That I made her realize that she doesn't have to be guarded anymore. She pretty much claimed she loved everything about me. Our first little spat was a complete misunderstanding, as she thought I had blown her off after a movie date with her and her sister. I didn't kiss her goodnight, as I was in a weird place and scared that I was falling in love so fast. We had plans the next night to hang out as she was planning on going out of town. Well, the entire next day until about 8pm she did not respond to one text or phone call. I even begged for her to just let me know she was OK. She finally said she was upset and didn't like being blown off and doesn't want to play games. I explained to her I was sorry and it wasn't my intention to hurt her. We talked, we made up and hung out the next night. I did ask her what was going to happen the next time she got upset with me. If she was going to take another day off and ignore me. She said "NO." That she was sorry, and could understand how frustrating it was for me that she wouldn't respond. She was getting ready for a trip to vegas. Where she works! At a gentlemen's club doing marketing/promotions (so she claims) She makes great money... paid CASH. Obviously I had my doubts about what she really does, but I trusted her. She was real! Outgoing! Independent.ambitious... everything with her just felt right. I didn't make any remarks in regards to her job other than it would be hard for me, but that she was worth it. She left, and we were a part for a week as I went out of town on a family vacation. Well, I spent most of my time texting her back and forth telling each other how much we were missed and how we couldn't wait to see each other and all the things we wanted to do to each other. I even talked to her on the phone in to the wee hours of the night. She even admitted once that she was annoyed because I had fallen asleep on here at like 1am while we were texting. It was her Birthday. We had plans for Father's Day, which was yesterday. I was going to introduce her to my son, and go to the beach for the day. Well, Thursday night she went to work, but through out the day it seemed like her mood had changed. Texts became farther apart, and short. I figured she was just busy. Well, I went to sleep that night around midnight and was tossing and turning having bad dreams about her and what she was doing. In my dream she kept saying I'm blowing her off, and she was trying to break it off. So, apparently I text her (with out even realizing it) at 2am with "you totally blew me off." she replied and said she wasn't that she was just busy working and to please not be upset. Well, I didn't get the text, and an hour later she sent another one saying, that I should know by now that she is not blowing me off and that my text hurt her. I didn't get that one either. I was out cold. Well, when I woke up and realized what happened I immediately text her and apologized, and explained I wasn't aware I had sent that text. I said I wanted to call her and talk about it. Finally an hour or so later she text me with. "I'll call you later." Well, I had plans to be on the water all day, and I knew she was working that night, so I didn't want it to wait. After all we had weekend plans. I proceeded to text and call her repeatedly, but she totally ignored me. She never called me like she said she would and she took a day off like she said she wouldn't do anymore. I begged and pleaded for her to just talk to me. Finally around 3pm the next day she said not to text her anymore. I have text once and called once since then, but nothing... I am so torn. I can't eat, I can't sleep. I just want to know what is really going on. Was what I did so wrong? Did I make it worse by trying to just have a conversation with her? (blowing up her phone) Or are you convinced like myself, that something just doesn't make sense? The night we spent before we parted she told me she loved me... "in her sleep" she admitted later that it slipped out. Well, two nights before I had done the Same thing. Please try and explain where she might be coming from. I would never ever completely blow somebody off and shut them out unless they did something very awful. In my eyes, I did nothing wrong, and was just trying to make her see that. She did communicate about three different times during conversation that she would understand if I distanced myself from her since she would be out of town a lot, and her line of work. Well, apparently something happened in Vegas, and she decided to to work out there anymore. While I was away she claimed she pretty much quit and found a job in San Francisco, which means that she wouldn't have to leave town anymore. She was happy about that and said it would be great for us. I agreed. If I was so great, wonderful, amazing, and perfect why in the world would she completely ignore me and act like I meant nothing to her. She wanted everyone to meet me and know who I was, but yet she couldn't just pick up her phone and talk to me. Please help me make sense out of this. This is just another set-back for me as far as dating/relationships. I would really appreciate your opinion/feedback. I miss her so much, and the silence is killing me. I know I need to not contact her, but I'm afraid she will never talk to me again. One night after a baseball game we went to she got all sensitive on me over something totally silly, and left. She was nice when she left, gave me a kiss, and said bye. She called me 20 min later, and we talked. She said she was sorry, and I let her come back. I'm now thinking that was the biggest mistake I could make. I took her call, why could she not do the same for me? THANK YOU

[Justwantfair]

Do what she asked.

I have't heard from her since except for a text saying to stop texting her.

I have a feeling you have been text harassing her since she told you she would call.

As far as 'texting' in your sleep, I think it a load of bull hockey.
The same as hearing her tell you in her sleep that 'she loves you', more bull hockey... besides why are you up listening to her sleep?

You scare me and I have only read one post.

[mikey49]

Then why even reply? Thanks, good for nothing

If anyone else would like to give their actual opinion with out being an @$$ I would appreciate it. I have no reason to lie to strangers.

[Justwantfair]

then why even reply? thanks, good for nothing

She replied with 'Stop texting me'
Doesn't that mean anything to you?

[Survivor07]

I don't see how you could text someone "in your sleep without even realizing it".

As far as what to do next, I would listen to what she has asked of you and stop contact with her.

Try not to dwell on what she could be thinking and be glad it was only a month. Things could always be worse.

[Survivor07]

I am being totally honest here: I would see it as a red flag if a guy told me that he didn't know he text me because he did it in his sleep.

Also, I'm not trying to hurt you while you're down, but you have to realize that you two jumped in with both feet without testing the water.

No one can possibly know someone else well enough to say that they're perfect, wonderful and love them in just ONE month.

She may have thought you were perfect until the point of texting in your sleep. Just my opinion.

I also have another thought: What do you think she does for a living? Sounds suspicious to me. You even used the words "so she claims".

Try not to get all bent out of shape over someone you truly barely know, and concentrate more on the whole texting in your sleep thing.

[talaniman]

Finally around 3pm the next day she said not to text her anymore. I have text once and called once since then, but nothing....... I am so torn.

Do as she has asked you to do, and leave her alone. It hurts, and makes no sense to you now, but that's what she wants, and that's what she should get.

[liz28]

When you move too fast your only crash and burn out.

Luckily she didn't get a chance to get into your child's life. Don't ever allow someone in your child life when you only knew for such a short time. Keep your dating life different from your child's life.

You can't really blame her--you can only blame yourself. You can plead and beg all you want but all your doing is wasting time and energy.

I think you got too caught in girl and you shouldn't have. Your allowed your feelings to interfere with your common sense which isn't good. You fall for first thing that came along and I bet her beauty had more to do it. This relationship had no real foundation and a relationship won't survive without it. And pay attention to the red flags.

Next time pace yourself and don't move too fast. Take time getting to know each other and have fun in the process. And watch out so you won't get played.

Respect this girl wishes by leaving her alone, otherwise, you might get legal problems behind it.

[jlove09]

Yeah, no foundation. No nothing.
You jumped right in front of the gun. I dream about my girl all the time but I don't go texting her in my sleep, that's creepy >.<
Move on. Find a diff girl. I think you think its love when it was really lust and maybe cause she was way younger then you so it seemed like she was a dime.

[mikey49]

Thank you for the eye opener guys... Obviously the next morning I vaguely remember sending the text, but at the time I was too out of it. I realize this girl did not owe me an explanation, and she had every right to ignore me based on the fact we only dated a month. I will communicate this to her when and if we talk. One night after we went out she got all sensitive over something totally silly and left my house. 20 minutes later she called and aplogized. We talked about it, and I let her come back over. That was a huge mistake on my part. I took her call, I listened to her; therefore, I felt at the time that she owed me the same respect. She does have some items of mine that I would like to have back. Should I wait for her to contact me? Any suggestions on what to say or how to handle? Thank you!

[Justwantfair]

Let it go, don't hold on waiting for some closure with this.

Worry about you, then when/if she calls, handle that.

[jolienoire]

thank you for the eye opener guys... Obviously the next morning I vaguely remember sending the text, but at the time I was too out of it. I realize this girl did not owe me an explanation, and she had every right to ignore me based on the fact we only dated a month. I will communicate this to her when and if we talk. One night after we went out she got all sensitive over something totally silly and left my house. 20 minutes later she called and aplogized. we talked about it, and I let her come back over. That was a huge mistake on my part. I took her call, I listened to her; therefore, I felt at the time that she owed me the same respect. She does have some items of mine that I would like to have back. Should I wait for her to contact me? any suggestions on what to say or how to handle? Thank you!!

I mean what items could be that important that you want to lose your dignity by asking for them back? Because people often use that as an excuse to contact a person. I mean bottom line is would you rather have your items that bad? Or let her keep them and move on with your life?
I'd rather have my dignity and self respect than any material possession.

[liz28]

Mikey do you really want the items back or are you looking for a way back in?

If the items aren't worth it then why stress yourself over them?

[mikey49]

Um, a $300 pair of prada sunglasses I left at her house?? Are those not worth it?

[talaniman]

My gosh get the darn glasses, and leave the girl alone. Your making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.

[mikey49]

I mean what items could be that important that you want to lose your dignity by asking for them back? Because people often use that as an excuse to contact a person. I mean bottom line is would you rather have your items that bad? or let her keep them and move on with your life?
I'd rather have my dignity and self respect than any material possession.

I'm sorry. What are you agreeing with? Thanks for the comments

[jolienoire]

um, a $300 pair of prada sunglasses I left at her house??? Are those not worth it?

Not to me, but if you are a material person then that would be a just cause for you. I would take it as a 300 dollar loss but that is me, I'd rather let her wear those 300 dollar shades so she can remember where they came from.

[mikey49]

Not to me, but if you are a material person then that would be a just cause for you. I would take it as a 300 dollar loss but that is me, I'd rather let her wear those 300 dollar shades so she can remember where they came from.

I'm liking that idea... bye bye glasses

[Justwantfair]

Those who buys a $300 pair of Prada sunglasses and leaves them anywhere deserves to lose them.

That is just silly.

[mikey49]

Actually they were a gift, but thanks for your great advice... You can leave anytime unless you have nothing better to do than poke fun.