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dollhouse · Jun 18, 2009, 08:11 PM

I have been dating this guy for almost a year come August. He slept with 2 of my sister prior to me and now we are together. But the problem now is that he still deals with 1 of my sisters and I don't get along with her. My sister is now homeless and I have been allowing her to stay he sort of. But since I don't speak to her and the things she has said to me we argue almost everyday. I am in love with this guy but it seems that she is putting a damper on the relationship. What should I do?

Justwantfair · Jun 18, 2009, 08:14 PM

You shouldn't date a guy who has slept with two of your sisters.

Someday you will regret these actions.

chuff · Jun 18, 2009, 10:46 PM

Haven't you ever set up any boundries for yourself. Don't date guys who don't have a job or won't search for one. Don't date guys that cheat. Oh and don't date guys that slept with any of your sisters much less two.

Secondly, is this your place? Why are letting your sister stay if she's not paying rent and being disrespectful to you every day? If she can't respect you or your place put her back on the street. You can't support someone who's refuses to support themselves.

taoplr · Jun 18, 2009, 11:56 PM

I have the feeling that you wanted advice about what to do with your sister. To change something outside of you so you could get closer to this guy. And maybe that's the right thing to do.

But maybe what really needs to change is in you, in how you see your situation and how you handle it. So, when you asked what you should do, here's what came up in my mind.

How is it OK with you that this guy has slept with all three of you? That's complicated! What kind of relationship do you expect to have with him? And when you say that he "still deals" with one of you, what does that mean? What do they do together?

You and your sister don't get along well. But she's your blood. Guys can come and go, but you only have so much family. If she's homeless and you have taken her in, that says you feel compassion towards her. If she's saying bad things to you, and you argue a lot, that says you need to figure out how to improve the relationship between you and her. My guess is that you and she have issues of respect, gratitude, and trust with each other. What is the deeper story? If you share that, you can get better support. Hint: You will be pleased to realize that you can solve a bunch of relationship problems by setting clear boundaries. Do you want to learn how to do that better?

Once you think through those questions and ideas, you will know what you should do and what you should not do. Having thought deeply enough, you will find it easy to do the right thing.

Tao

Shikha29 · Jun 19, 2009, 12:03 AM

Your sister needs your help. Sort out things with her. What can I say about the guy who has slept with your two sisters? There is no point in getting along with a person ruining your life and relationships. He is not in love with you need you just for the sake of it.

talaniman · Jun 19, 2009, 09:56 AM

So basically your living with your sister, and HER ex.

This will not work at all, and somebody has to go, period.

Both of them leaving is best, your sister who doesn't appreciate your help, and the boyfriend, who has slept his way through your family.

I won't judge your decision to be involved with a guy like that, but I do question your wisdom in allowing them both under your roof.

Romefalls19 · Jun 19, 2009, 10:55 AM

Sounds like his running through the family blood line.

Drop your boyfriend, family is forever. Whether you like them or hate them, they are still there. The guy has already slept with two of your sisters, doesn't that mean something?

HistorianChick · Jun 19, 2009, 11:01 AM

Your sister isn't putting a damper on your relationship; the essence of your relationship is putting a damper on it!

Why would you even consider a man that slept with two of your sisters? What happened to the Girl Code? This is SO wrong.

You don't date men who've slept with your sister. Especially one that has slept with two of them.

It would make me feel like the bottom of the pot.

Please, for your own mental well-being, ditch the guy. He is obviously a loser who wants to sleep with the girls of your family. There are movies about men like him - that's Hollywood, not real life.