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    Fireshadowdr's Avatar
    Fireshadowdr Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 18, 2009, 03:21 PM
    I'm really depressed about my girlfriend
    I hope no one judges me for my craving and passion for pot, but My girlfriend doesn't understand my love of pot, and insists on controlling the situation to stop smoking pot altogeter.
    This isn't the main point. The thing is that she tries to control my life, she doesn't let me hangout with my friends, most of them smoke too, but they are my life long friends. She wants me to meet new people. She wants me to bring her stuff to work, and even take her to work even though she has a car herself. She has broken up with her almost 5 times, then she came back ( or I did) the last time she got mad at me she had sex with this other girl, I feel like she cheated on me and she doesn't find it wrong at all, but the thing is that she didn't even tell me till the next day. I'm madly in love with her, she is my first true love, but what she does hurts me inside. She always sends me on guilt trips and tries to be the one that's always right, I don't really care of the small things, and I'm already quiting pot, but I resent it, she wants me to be someone I'm not. She talks a lot of sh*t about me with her friends.
    I want to know, if she is truly worth it being with her. I need help because I don't know what to do anymore.
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #2

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fireshadowdr View Post
    I hope no one judges me for my craving and passion for pot, but My girlfriend doesn't understand my love of pot, and insists on controlling the situation to stop smoking pot altogeter.
    I'm certainly not one to judge, I smoked pot and then some at a certain point in my life. If she hates drugs then she shouldn't be with you to begin with.

    The thing is that she tries to control my life, she doesn't let me hangout with my friends, most of them smoke too, but they are my life long friends. She wants me to meet new people. She wants me to bring her stuff to work, and even take her to work even though she has a car herself.
    It's never okay to lose friends because of a mate. If she wants you to meet new people, that's okay, there is no harm in having new friends-- just keep the old ones too.

    As for you driving her to work I see that as another way of her controlling you- even if it's a 20 minute commute she has you for those 20 minutes under her supervision.

    she has broken up with her almost 5 times, then she came back ( or I did) the last time she got mad at me she had sex with this other girl, I feel like she cheated on me and she doesn't find it wrong at all, but the thing is that she didn't even tell me till the next day.
    5 times. I think by the 2nd time you should've let go. On and off relationships are a waste of time. It didn't work the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time it certainly won't work the 11th time.


    I'm madly in love with her, she is my first true love, but what she does hurts me inside. She always sends me on guilt trips and tries to be the one that's always right,
    This is not a good relationship. The fact that she's your first really proves my point on how this relationship is not going to work out- most first time relationships rarely work out. You need to take this relationship as a lesson for your future ones. This may seem like "real" love to you but in another's eyes this is not. There is a lot of deceit, manipulation, and controlling behavior.

    I don't really care of the small things, and I'm already quiting pot, but I resent it, she wants me to be someone I'm not. She talks a lot of sh*t about me with her friends.
    I want to know, if she is truly worth it being with her. I need help because I don't know what to do anymore.
    My suggestion is to leave the relationship, for once and for all.

    You will change your ways when you want to change your ways.

    She belittles you for god sakes, this gives you enough reason to end it.

    Sarah
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:43 PM

    She wants you to be someone you are not.

    Drop her cause it doesn't get any better. She has you ride her to work because that way she knows that time spent with her she doesn't have to worry about what you are doing.
    She is a control freak and you are not going to survive the relationship unless you become what she wants you to!

    She is not worth being with unless you want these changes.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 18, 2009, 08:16 PM
    Sometimes opposites attract.

    I think that there must be other issues involved here, and they have all come around the bend again, each time you kiss and make up.

    Unless you and your girlfriend are willing to do the work to figure out what the root problems are, and how to correct them without one being dominant, and the other being passive to keep the relationship alive, then what's the point.

    It is one thing to love somebody, it is another to accept them as they are and still love them, and it is another thing again to change and compromise and find equal ground that you can both live with.

    You can't wish problems away, and bandaids on a mortal wound isn't going to heal.

    Sometimes, love, just isn't enough.
    sweet1028's Avatar
    sweet1028 Posts: 146, Reputation: 43
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    #5

    Jun 20, 2009, 11:33 AM

    I haven't read all the posts but this girl might really like you and is trying to help you so that she can be in a relationship with you. Maybe encouraging you to meet new friends is one of her ways to help you to stop hanging out with old ones who are probably doing pot with you. I'd give it a second chance and see what happens, helping you is a way she is trying to show you she cares.

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