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vminyard · Jun 17, 2009, 08:36 PM

My son is almost 6 months old,his father is in the airforce but has had NUMEROUS oppourtunities to come see him and his family lives near by and has also never made any kind of effort to see him. I got married when my son was 4 months to a man I know nad love very much and who is in the army,I need to know how long it will take for me to file abandonment on my sons father since he will not even answer text messages or answer his phone.and how long does a person have to have no contact before abandonment is even an option, he is not on my son's birth certificate and has never done anything for him. Thank you.

excon · Jun 18, 2009, 06:22 AM

Hello v:

There is no such thing as abandonment. If he's not using his rights now, taking them away does NOTHING.

If, on the other hand, your hubby wants to adopt, (which will do the same thing as abandonment will), see a family lawyer.

excon

JudyKayTee · Jun 18, 2009, 07:39 AM

Agree with Excon - if you are in a stable marriage (and the rules depend on the State) and your husband wishes to adopt your child the child's father must give his consent.

Abandonment does not enter into the situation.

Do you receive support?

ScottGem · Jun 18, 2009, 07:49 AM

If you had posted this in the correct forum (which is where I moved it to) you might have notices a "sticky" that deals with this question. You might want to go back and read it know.

But the key here is that you don't really care about abandonment. What you care about is having your husband adopt your child. And generally, this requires the bio father to agree to relinquish his rights.

Since you need an attorney to file the adoption paperwork, I suggest that is your first step. Even though the bio father is not on the birth certificate before an adoption can take place, the bio father has to be identified and relinquish his rights.

There are ways that you may be able to get this done, however. The first thing you should do is file for child support. This will involve a DNA test to determine paternity and then an order of support. To avoid paying support, the bio father may agree with relinquishing rights.

Also the military takes a dim view of fathers shirking their responsibility. So once paternity is established, if he still refuses to relinquish, then his commander can be asked to intervene.

But an attorney, which you need anyway, can advise you of your various alternatives.

stinawords · Jun 18, 2009, 08:19 AM

All of the above answers are correct. So, all I'm going to add is that the sooner you get a lawyer and get into court the quicker you will get results.

cdad · Jun 18, 2009, 02:01 PM

Originally Posted by stinawords

All of the above answers are correct. So, all I'm going to add is that the sooner you get a lawyer and get into court the quicker you will get results.

I think they need to see a lawyer first because the way I calculate it they have only been married for 2 months. In many states that's not long enough to prove stability.

stinawords · Jun 18, 2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

I think they need to see a lawyer first because the way I calculate it they have only been married for 2 months. In many states thats not long enough to prove stability.

Very true I wasn't paying that much attention to the age of the child compaired to the marriage thing. In many states you have to be married for at least a full year. In the states that don't require marriage of one year the relationship must be much longer (as well as stable not dating off and on for ten years). Being that the child is only six months old and not by the guy that the op is married to now it isn't likely that a judge will grant anything for at least another ten months or so.