[snippy07]

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 11 months. Tonight she was sad so I asked her what was wrong. She said I feel like I'm not good enough for you. I said why is that? She said I don't know. Then she started crying and said she thought about breaking up with me because I'm too good for her but she doesn't want to. The rest of the night I just tried to make her happy and tell her that she was good enough for me and she's the only person I want. Now I'm thinking is she just saying that as an excuse to break up and give me a hint? Or do girls really feal like they aren't good enough sometimes? We have never had any trouble and she is pretty clingy. I just need some advice. Thanks :confused:

[Wondergirl]

Girls say that when they want to break up but can't think of a good enough reason that he will swallow. They diss themselves so he won't feel bad. Actually, she's telling you that YOU are not good enough for her, but she, of course, cannot say that out loud and has to turn it around on herself to get you to maybe swallow it or to at least feel sorry for her and not be mad.

[friend4u178]

I'm afraid it sounds like she is just using it as an excuse to ease her guilt if she breaks it off with you.

I hope I'm wrong!

[jlove09]

Girls always say this and I don't underestand them >.< I think it's for a break up so they won't feel too bad.

[inertia]

Take it and run man. Don't sit around trying to figure it out. When my ex and I broke up, she listed everything that was wrong with me. I'd rather not know (no need to feel insecure). I spent a few months blaming myself for the reasons she listed. I broke up with a different girl some years back and told her she was too good for me. My reasoning was, she was in love and I wasn't. I felt like a bad person. I still remember her as a great girl, just not the "right" one for me.

[makapuu]

Her insecurities should have surfaced months ago. I think you need to have a deeper discussion of why she thinks you're too good for her, rather than you just saying you love her and she's all that you want.

[spudmommy]

It is possible that it's a method of pushing the breakup plan along. However, if in the time span you have known her and she has shown other signs of sadness and insecurities she might have a depression problem. If she always seemed like a downer or even maybe a little manic depressive go easy on her and recommend counseling. (If she gets defensive easily and you still want to be with her you could offer couples counseling) BUT, if you agree with her, than take the open door. Good luck!

[snippy07]

The reason she tells me she is not good enough for me is because she says I can find a prettier girl who is skinny. My girlfriend is not the skinniest ever but she has lost 20 pounds and now weighs 150 which is good because she is still trying. So I am really not sure if she is just not confident in herself or wants to break up

[Romefalls19]

Sounds like she has self esteem issues, sadly she will have to work those out. I don't think it's break up excuse anymore, sounds like she has had self confidence issues which aided in her feeling unequal.

[snippy07]

I just texted her because she is at work and I'm about to head to the beach. I asked if she still wanted to be with me and that she can tell me if she doesn't. She said yes I want to be with you. I asked if she was sure, and she said yes why do you want to break up? I said no

[talaniman]

We have never had any trouble and she is pretty clingy. I just need some advice. Thanks :confused:

Talaniman Rule- Don't assume anything, but pay attention so you can get the facts.

Your still learning each other, so don't be blinded by your feelings, or let her feelings make you insecure.

Talaniman Rule - Don't worry about being dumped until it happens. Worrying is no fun, nor does it do any good. They still will dump you any way.

[snippy07]

Threads merged

My girlfriend and I just broke up a few hours ago after 13 months.

We broke up because "I don't trust her" that's what she said. I have trusted her until about 2 weeks ago. She used to be so clingy, texting me 24/7 and wanting to hang out always and hated when I talked to other girls. Two weeks ago she stopped texting me as much and she blamed it on her being busy. She doesn't even work or anything. Last week I went to hang out with my friend who is a girl that she doesn't like because I had a crush on this girl 2 years ago. My girlfriend didn't even care that I went to hang out with this girl which was a HUGE shock. Then I text my girlfriend asking what she was doing, and she said "just watchin tv". I'm like OK call me, and she doesn't answer all of a sudden after we have just been texting back and forth. I'm like your going to hate me for this but I don't think you're even home right now. That's when she said "I can't do this if you wont believe me". So I said "Fine, bye".

Don't you think if it was trust issues she would just try and work it out with me, because she says she loves me. Love means working things out and getting through things in my opinion.

It hurts me so much for us to break up, but I really think she is cheating on me or lost interest.

I just want some advice on if I handled it correctly or not, or if I made a big mistake.

[N0help4u]

It sounds to me like she lost interest.
But you hanging out with a girl she doesn't like didn't help either.

[snippy07]

It sounds to me like she lost interest.
But you hanging out with a girl she doesn't like didn't help either.

No because this girl wanted to go to the beach and she invited my girlfriend too, so I asked my girlfriend "you want to go to the beach with so and so?" My girlfriend said "not today but you can." I know most women might say that as a trap, but this wasn't because I wasn't planning on going without her, and she insisted me to do it. The day after my girlfriend said she didn't even care because she trusts me.

Anyway I don't know

[N0help4u]

I don't know are you sure she isn't the type of girl that will insist on one thing and then fault you for not doing the opposite. Like girls that insist they don't want anything for their birthday and then they get mad because you didn't get them anything?

[snippy07]

I don't know are you sure she isn't the type of girl that will insist on one thing and then fault you for not doing the opposite. Like girls that insist they don't want anything for their birthday and then they get mad because you didn't get them anything?

I'm sure she has never done anything like that, she always HATED me when I hung out with this girl and I used to up until we started dating for about 4 months and I stopped.

[N0help4u]

IDK your going to have to ask her why TV makes her too busy for you or how can you work things out.

[snippy07]

Threads merged

I have posted here like two other time because our relationship has been rocky the past couple of months. We have broken up, but gotten back together the day of or the day after. This hasn't happened until 2 months ago.

- This all happened yesterday -

It started with her saying she had a bad day at school. I asked why? She just said she didn't really know teachers are just being annoying or something. So I left it at that and say oh OK.

We then go to the pool and go swimming. Two hours later we are back at her house.
She randomly says she wants to stop having sex and to be a virgin again. I asked why? She says your not going to like this but I like another guy at school. Im said "What the hell how long have you liked him" She says "two days". I'm not sure how she can throw out her boyfriend who she always and still does say she loves for a guy she has liked for two days...

I asked her if this guy is more attractive than me, smarter than me, nicer than me? She says no he reminds me of you. I REALLY don't understand that... Anyway so we broke up.

I'm so tempted to text her or something, I'm trying to do NC. Friends are telling me she will try contacting me within a week because she will regret it and such. But honestly I don't want to get back with her because who is to say she won't do this again. But then again I do want to get back with her because maybe she will learn from the mistakes and I love this girl a lot. I thought she was different from other girls and would never do this kind of thing. She has seemed to change for the past 2 months, her old friend thinks so too, so I don't get what's going on. I need help :(

[kctiger]

Throw the peace sign at her and get out. You already saw what I posted earlier. I do NOT care how much I love a girl, once I hear:

I like another guy...

I am gone, and I mean gone. Literally a ghost, I wouldn't even exist to her anymore. She would have to call the CIA to have a clue where I'm at. I know it sucks and I do feel for you, but now more than ever is the time to man up. Do NOT let her destroy all of your dignity and self value.

Anytime you have doubts about NC, you post it here. I was in shambles over a break up too, we all were at one time, which is how we got to this website. Keep it cool my man! We are here for you.

[talaniman]

She may have just made up her mind 2 days ago, but you can bet she has had those feelings for someone else for a LOT longer (2 months?). Partners are always the last to know. Take the opportunity to disapear from her life.

Understand that since her feelings have change, leave her alone, and do your own thing, because changing her mind, and trying to get back with you would be a sign she just needs someone, and doesn't show love, or caring. Thats why you don't look back.

I think I'm sorry for your loss, but will celebrate your freedom to enjoy other options, and opportunities, that you couldn't have before.

Just do the healing process through No Contact.