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    bigdaddyfk33's Avatar
    bigdaddyfk33 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 16, 2009, 08:35 AM
    Wife's inappropriate conversations with 18 year old
    Hi, I am feeling pretty troubled about this so I'm hoping someone can help me with my perspective, or validate where I am coming from.

    My wife has an attraction for females, which I am great with, no judgment or hang ups, it's something we share intimately with each other. We are committed to each other and I don't feel like I am about to be traded in for a woman or anything. What is bothering me is that my wife's 18 year old daughter also has attraction for women, and the two of them (my wife and her 18 year old) have begun talking about women's bodies and T and A and have even discussed watching racy movies or porn with women. I feel very uncomfortable about this, first I don't think it's appropriate to have those kind of discussions with your kid, second I feel like my intimacy with my wife is being invaded. The fantasies we have shared about her with women are something that we have always kept private and between us. Now she talks to her daughter about how hot women are with a gleam in her eye, while not talking to me about it at all any more.

    I am scared, I feel like I am losing the intimacy and adventure that I have shared with my wife in the bedroom. I feel threatened by her sexual banter with her daughter about women. My wife spend 15 years away from her daughter, so I think part of it is that she is trying to connect with her, I just feel like she is going about it in a very inappropriate way

    HELP!!
    Megan2345's Avatar
    Megan2345 Posts: 239, Reputation: 8
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    #2

    Jun 16, 2009, 09:23 AM

    I agree. That's bad boundaries. All you can do is tell your wife how you feel about it. Good luck!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 16, 2009, 10:00 AM
    I agree, it is totally innapropriate to watch porn with your 18 year old.

    Having discussions about sexual issues is one thing, but sharing a common lust for T&A same sex porn, and thinking about watching movies with that theme, is creepy.

    I totally agree with you being uncomfortable with this situation.

    It seems to have escalated from the bedroom you both share, to the family, and I have to think, what's next.

    Regardless of the nature of this rift, it is bothering you, and you need to address this in no uncertain terms to your wife. If she has any respect for you, she will keep her adult sex talks in the sole domain of the marital bed.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 16, 2009, 10:44 AM

    Confront your wife about all these concerns. You really need to communicate with your wife if you plan on resolving these issues. Communication is key.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Jun 16, 2009, 02:36 PM

    I would definitely find out what her motives and so forth are for this. She is crossing lines and you don't know how far she is capable of going with this.

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