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desperate4help · Jun 16, 2009, 07:27 AM

I am a single mother of 3 daughters, I lost both of my parents a few years ago and the rest of my family has diminished since then, leaving me with no support. My 12 year old daughter (the oldest of the 3) is so unruly, violent and disrespectful to everyone in our home. I cannot seem to control her because she is using violent acts against me, my 10 year old and talks back to everyone and anyone who tries just to speak to her. I know she is hurt and angry by the loss of my parents and her father (who walked out of her life 7 years ago), but I don't know what to do. I have tried to reach out to agencies for help (i.e. counceling, child/family services) and she has been put on waiting lists that are up to 3 years long, child/family services are suffering so many cut backs and lay offs that they cannot seem to be bothered, they have promised and promised and every time come up shorthanded. I have cried and begged and it still seems to be dead ends. I realize at this point that I am on my own, but I'm not sure I have the strength inside of me to make her better, my other children are scared of her. I feel like I am at the point of no return and really need some help and suggestions. Thank you

ryans2fast4u · Jun 16, 2009, 08:00 AM

Big brothers big sisters. May not be the type of organization you think would help, but sometimes having another role model in their life is helpful- someone who isn't a parent.

I've been a "big brother" and I've seen it change the lives of the people that go through there, and great friendships are made.

Plus the type of person who would volunteer for big brothers/big sisters - or similar organizations- may not be perfect, but they are the type of person you want in your daughters life- they are good caring people who are going out of their way to help others.

Just something to think about, and it's a group you should be able to work with virtually immediately!

I must say I'm NOT a parent, but I thought I could help so shared.

Good luck!

Justwantfair · Jun 16, 2009, 08:09 AM

If you are scared of your child at twelve, I can't even imagine what you will feel when your daughter is sixteen.

You are the authority in your house, why does your twelve year old daughter have the chance to intimidate you and use violence against you?

What are your methods of discipline?

88sunflower · Jun 16, 2009, 08:13 AM

This is totally off the wall, but what about the police department. Go to them and explain. Maybe they can help or point you in a direction.

desperate4help · Jun 18, 2009, 09:47 AM

Thanks ryans2fast4you. How can I get in touch with big brothers big sisters? I filled out an online application for the organization about a year ago and they never contacted me. My daughter has mentioned in the past that this was something she was very interested in. Also, is it possible for her to have a big brother as opposed to a big sister, she lacks male figures in her life and would love to have one.