[ineedsomeadvice]

Hi everyone

So last night my mil was so nice to me, which shoud have sent up red flags, but I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt... WRONG...
Half way into our "lovely" conversation she gets to the point of her true intentions and that was to question me about my relationship with my sister in law (which is non-existent)

The reason why I do not get along with her, to make a long story short, bottom line... she is a narcissistic bully and she really does think that the world owes her BIG TIME. It is never her that is wrong, it is always others.

By no means am I claiming to be innocent, it takes two to tango, but I have chosen to steer clear from her bullying personality for my own sanity's sake. I have burned my fingers too many times by forgiving and forgetting only to have her "sucker punch" me in the gut and leaving me to scratch my head thinking what just happened, I thought we were doing fine.

I have been waiting for a chance to sit down and have a heart to heart with my mil and put all my thoughts and feelings out there. She heard me, but she was not LISTENING to what I had to say. It was not a bad conversation, we were adults about the whole thing, but whenever I would express my feelings of thins they have done that upset me, she would just sweep it under the rug, make up an excuse and turn it all back on me making me feel that it was all my fault, every nasty thing they did and still do to me or say about me is all my fault.

So instead of feeling better about finally getting things off my chest, I ended up feeling 10 times worse than I did before.

I just don't think that she is ever going to get it and now she thinks that her words are magical and that me and my sil are just going to get along just fine. I'm seriously annoyed with these women.

I'd really like to know what you guys think. Any advice, suggestions, words of wisdom?

P.S. And oh yes, my sil is 33 years old and she still sends her mom to do the "dirty" work for her. She will complain to her mother about something I did or did'nt do, have her mom talk to me and then I would compromise for everyone's sake to be nice to her, and when I do try to say hello or talk to her she ignores me and when I feel that I do not need this sort of nonsense in my life I just ignore her too and then she will have the nerve to run to her mother again and tell her to talk to me because I do not say hello to her. And when I brought this up last night to my mil, she said... Oh, maybe she just didn't hear you. Ummmm... I think that if you are standing no more than 2 feet away from someone, look them in the face and say hello, that they heard you all right.

What do you call people like this exactly? There must be a word or two for it.

[N0help4u]

Next time just tell her that you see your words get nowhere so you don't see the point in explaining anything. Steer clear of both of them when you feel the necessity.

I call them passive aggressive and living in their own little world.

[ineedsomeadvice]

Great answer and I agree with you, I will tell my mil this next time when she wants to talk.

Another problem is that my sil asked me to be a bridesmaid for her upcoming wedding later this year. She asked like 2 years ago when everything was still good between us. That was one of the things my mil said yesterday, she said that my sil does not know what to do now. She has a mouth she should open it instead of having to send her mother to talk to me. To tell you the truth I do not want anything to do with her, but what can I do? I'm not going to cause any problems for no reason.

What to do??

[N0help4u]

I would never accuse a passive aggressive person of being passive aggressive and I think your mil may be more passive aggressive than your sil.

I would just try figuring out what is the best way to deal with people and their situations they put you in. Sort of like out smarting them because you get the picture about their most likely unintentional games. They don't see how they are and you point it out they are just going to get more aggressive and more defensive and deny it.