[Whatido]

Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a year. She became dependent on me and has lost connection with her friends, she blames this on our relationship. She thinks having a boyfriend makes her lose connection with everybody except me. Me on the other hand, have lots of friends, who are now friends with my girl friend, but my girlfriend is saying that one of the reasons of thinking about splitting is the fact that my friends are going to choose me over her. She also feels like we have lost the spark of being in love, though we still both love each other. She's been extremely depressed, her parents are divorcing soon and she's going through a lot of stress. She is taking forever( a day) to decide what we are going to do and I'm not going to wait for a long time because its draining. Is it possible she still wants to be with me or is she just drawing it out?

[I wish]

I'm not sure why she lost her friends if you were able to keep them. It sounds like it's her problem. Unless you weren't allowing her to see her friends and making her see you instead, which I highly doubt.

If her parents are going through a divorce and she's feeling depressed, chances are, she only wants to turn to someone she can trust. So that means you. It's probably her own doing for distancing herself from her friends.

Here are some suggestions. Treat her 100 times nicer than you normally do, because she needs your support now more than ever. Even after you start treating her 100 times nicer, keep it that way so she knows how much you care about her.

Secondly, encourage her to go seek out her friends. My guess is that she's stopping herself from seeing them. Seeing her own friends without you will do her some good.

But for now, give her some space, because she needs to sort this out herself. But at the same time, let her know that you are there for her. So she knows that she can turn to you for support. Just keep encouraging her and letting her know that she will get through this. Let her know that you will stand by her. Tell her all the things that she needs to hear. Be supportive.

[liz28]

Your girlfriend have become co-dependent on you--which is unhealthy. She don't know how to have a life outside of your relationship instead of making this relationship her life.

She is losing friends because she doesn't want to spend time with them but instead she wants to spend all her time with you and expects you to do the same.

I am sure your friends are only her friend because of you even though they can be fond of her. If things doesn't work out between the two of you she can't expect them remain friends with her--this is why she needs her own set of friends.

I think your girlfriend has some unhealthy views when it comes to relationships and you can't change them. If she is depressed I hope she is getting professional help and better he or she can make her see things differently. I think your dreaded a break to but you know one is needed. You shouldn't wait for her to decide but should make things easier by making the decision for her.

[talaniman]

Is it possible she still wants to be with me or is she just drawing it out?

She is acting out her fears, and insecurity, as her world crashes down around her. Her life is stressed, and confused. Don't take it personally, it has nothing at all to do with you. Do nothing, but let her vent.

I know you feel helpless not knowing what to do, this confuses you. Don't let YOUR confusion make you over react. Step back, and let her vent, and see how she deals with the pressure, and just pay attention.

She needs support, not advice how to fix things, so that's what you do, just support the path she takes in dealing with herself.

That's what your supposed to do. That means you have to be there as a rock, even when your frustrated with the situation, and need to be with YOUR friends.

That's why you don't take it personally, or as a threat to the relationship, because then you can't see what you need to do, for this relationship.

The hard times are what brings out the best in you both, believe it or not, and the way you deal with the adversity you face. Don't run from it, or its over.

[real soldier]

You need to tell hher that your just as confused , and also tell her we can either work on it and the pay off will leave us good together, or forget each other but it will be a loss for both of us because we can alwayz work threw things.

[makapuu]

Your girlfriend is going through a complicated time.
I think she could benefit more from your friendship as opposed to identifying the status of your relationship. I think you should be patient and/or help her work on her issues.