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    Jenna13's Avatar
    Jenna13 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 11, 2009, 09:23 AM
    Is this the end?
    Me n my boyfriend ave been together for nearly 17 months and I beginnin wonder whether we are meant fro each other or not. At the beginnin everythin was perfect and I planned to stay with him for a long time, then the 6 month mark came and we started arguin a bit, mainly over nothing really and I couldn't understand what was going on, as months past by at got worse, I did finish him but he always told me he would change so we got bak together because I really love him and there just no way of moving on. But it got to a point now wer everythin e says hurts me, he calls me things like perthetic and lazy and always shouting at me. He has always been so funny about things or accusin me of looking at other people, I used to think I could deal with it and help him change but then because he did it it made me do it, I admit at the beginnin I made some mistakes arguin with him and it making me think maybe if I didn't be so stupid none of this wouldn't of happened? We keep splittin up because deep down it just not going work and I think we both know that but I really can't bare the fact us both going on without each other he my first love and he really was the best person in the world and he still can be when he wants but now everyday is an argument over something and it really depressin me. It got tat bad I writing this asking for someone to help me because I really don't know what do anymore. Please help.
    spitvenom's Avatar
    spitvenom Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 373
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jun 11, 2009, 09:33 AM

    It isn't going to get better you even said yourself you are arguing everyday. I understand he is your first love but that doesn't mean he is your last, or only love. It isn't fair to either one of you. And to be honest how can you deal with him putting you down all the time. Do both of yourself a favor and end it. It will be hard but it gets easier everyday you can do it.
    scott_1976's Avatar
    scott_1976 Posts: 96, Reputation: 19
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Jun 11, 2009, 09:37 AM

    If he insults you than he is emotionally abusing you and that is just as bad as physical abuse if not worse. It was so good in the beginning because that is what they call the "honeymoon phase". In this phase you only see the best of each other. Once you get past this a persons true colors come out and his true colors are he is an abusive person, plain and simple! Move on before he gets physical abusive with you. If you stay with him he will keep insulting and try to make you feel like it is all your fault. There are guys that will treat you with respect and love you the way you deserve to be loved! This guy needs some counseling and definitely does not deserve you!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Jun 11, 2009, 10:34 AM
    Had to spread the rep Scott, but I think you are absolutely correct.

    Relationships should be nurturing, communication should be honest, and respect should be shown at all times.

    It is just not healthy to be at the receiving end of another person's anger.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #5

    Jun 11, 2009, 02:54 PM

    I can't understand why you took him back the first time. You broke up for a reason.

    Secondly, even after taking him back, you didn't see any progress in his behavior, so why keep torturing yourself? Stop the pain and suffering, end it once and for all and move on with your life.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Jun 11, 2009, 03:44 PM
    As Kenny Rogers once said,

    You got to know when to hold em', know when to fold em', know when to walk away, know when to run...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Jun 13, 2009, 10:55 AM

    Sometimes after you know someone you find out what they are really like, and don't like it so you leave and don't look back. Don't be fooled by the emotions involved, when it ain't working and you can't make it work you leave. When it turns abusive you run for the hills.
    sweet1028's Avatar
    sweet1028 Posts: 146, Reputation: 43
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Jun 21, 2009, 09:13 PM

    Great advice from everyone. I totally agree. Get out of this relationship now before more and more feelings are brought into the relationship and that only makes it harder for you to leave. You will probably never forget your first love and it might take some time to heal, but once you do heal you will be proud of yourself for making the wise decision of ending it early on in the relationship.

    There are guys out there that will show you how a woman is supposed to be treated. You shouldn't be put down and depressed all the time around someone you care about and is supposed to care for you.

    Time will heal a broken heart, but staying in this relationship and letting it get more and more out of hand with emotional abuse could lead to physical abuse and there's enough of that in the world already. Get out while you still can.

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