[inertia]

Not that I'm competing or anything, but it does feel odd to be the last single person I know. I don't even see room for that any time soon in my life either. Some of my friends have told me to start lowering my standards seeing as how all of my relationships keep blowing up. They tell me you can't marry beautiful girls because they will never be satisfied. They also tell me to find someone that isn't as challenging (intellectually) because "they" don't have to fight over stuff. One of my friends told my that I set the bar way too high and I should learn to settle.

I'm sorry I like smart attractive women. I know they have options, but so do I. I would never marry my friends' wives. They don't do it for me. I feel like they want me to settle, so that I can join their club or something. I'd rather be alone than be with someone I "settle" for.


All of my girl friends want me to date someone who will take care of me (I'm absent minded). I don't want a mother though. Peer pressure has never really affected me that much, but this has been bothering me a lot lately. What does the world of AMHD have to say?

[spitvenom]

F*&K that! Don't lower anything. What is the point of lowering your standards just to get stuck with some girl who you don't want to be with. Like you said you have options I say keep dating and keep going after the girls you are attracted too.

I can't believe they said to basically dumb down the type of girls you are go after. Maybe some men want a girl who can only answer with "what ever you want dear" but if you are like me it will drive you insane. DON'T CONFORM just because they did.

[talaniman]

Enjoy your single life, and let them enjoy their married life. The have what the wanted, and you should have what you want, and have fun doing it.

You're the one who has to live with your own decision, and that's the way its supposed to be.

[adam_89]

I'm with Spit here. Why would you even consider doing what your friends say? At least on that topic. I love smart beautiful women and that is the type of girl I want to marry as well. I would keep to yourself and do your own thing. If you are content with the way you are right now then so be it. Just don't lower your own standards to be with some dumb ugly girl who you think wouldn't be intellectually inclined or as attractive because of high maintenance.

[kctiger]

I am not going to marry just for the sake of getting married, nor will I date a woman for the sake of companionship. I have a right hand that provides services if I get bored, other than that, I DO NOT settle for anything in life. That is a loser's mentality, plain and simple. When the right person comes along, you will know it, until then, enjoy life.

I am single and loving it, and I have no worries whatsoever about getting hitched. That stuff will come. Life is too short to set a time limit or to be unhappy for the sake of fitting in.

The last thing you should ever settle on is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with!!

[ayejay0601]

Date someone you love and more importantly who loves you back.

[I wish]

No point settling for someone who isn't going to make you happy, cause you'll just end up back here telling us about how unhappy you are. Then we'll tell you to let them go... and then you'll regret not listening to yourself. Too messy.

If all of your friends are engaged, then maybe it's time to make some new friends. At least single friends who have time to hang out with you more often. Time to meet new girls.

[liz28]

What great friends you have! No wonder they might be married and I wonder what type of person they are married to.

Your be stupid if you listen to them and one thing you never do is settle when it comes to a spouse.

There is someone out there for everyone and sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your queen. The best things happen to those who wait and your find someone when your not looking.

[liz28]

Date someone you love and more importantly who loves you back.

What?

Dating is all about getting to know someone to see if the two of you are compatible. Love isn't instant and love takes time.

[ayejay0601]

Sorry, you are right... I meant marry someone you love and who loves you back.

[inertia]

I appreciate everyone's input. I'm not really tempted to settle. I wonder how many of them (my friends) did? Is that why the divorce rate is so high?

[liz28]

Yes, this is why the divorce rate is so high.

[cuddlebugmeme]

I think you should ignore the friends who tell you to “lower your standards”. Remember that they are married, of course they will stand on the married side. But it is really annoying that they make it like you are “supposed” to get marry just because most of them are married. What is wrong for staying single? I’d rather stay single than being with someone who is not right for me and doesn’t treat me right.

I believe that you should not listen to your friends to lower your standards just to find someone to get married. That makes a question… Do they lower their standards just to get married, that’s why they tell you to do the same? So should I congratulate them for finally getting married by lowering their standards?

It is a good thing that you still stick with your decision and do not affect by peer pressure. I totally support your decision. You are the only one who can judge yourself as to your own standards. You know what you want, and no one should try to change you.

[makapuu]

If it bothers you, then you should do something about it. Otherwise, if it doesn't bother you, don't let other people bother you.

[kctiger]

I don't think that has anything to do with the divorce rate. I think the divorce rate has to do more with people rushing into marriage before getting to even know the person, or even knowing themselves. It is almost as if falling in love automatically means marriage... people just need to take their time. What is the rush? Seriously, marriage is looked at way different these days than long ago. It can easily be gotten out of, and the commitment levels are few and far between.

[Ren6]

Assuming you're gorgeous and smart, your goal should not be difficult to achieve. I agree with those who say that you should expand your circle of friends a bit.

[Romefalls19]

Never settle for less than what you think you deserve

[ZoeMarie]

While I agree 100% that no one should just settle for anyone, I do think that maybe his friends were trying to tell him in a nice way that looks aren't everything. I don't think that anyone's "friend" would try to convince a person to settle, maybe just be a bit more open minded. The saying is true, that beauty is only skin deep.

[inertia]

I'm not superficial Zoe. My friends are intimidated by the girls I date. A smart, beautiful and sophisticated woman has a lot of power over men. I don't buckle under this power, but it's certainly irritating when some other guy does and I'm left for someone less challenging. My friends think "no woman can ever be satisfied so I should date someone with less options". Just so you know, I've dated artists, ballerinas and chemists (yes, a hot PhD chemistry girl does exist). It was the combination of their looks and brains I fell in love with.

[jojobaybee]

Don't worry!! You will find thetight girl chik and you will be happy, you don't have to get married and don't rush anything at all. You need someone that you can love an trust and they love and trust you as equal, or it will not work, I bet you're a pretty girl, and hope you do find someone's soon babe