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omgineedhelp · Jun 7, 2009, 10:40 PM

My 13 year old girlfriend and I have recently come across some terrible news. Apparently it is not leagel for us to date. We both believe in no sex before marriage, and the furthest we go is kissing, but can I still go to jail for that?

justcurious55 · Jun 7, 2009, 10:46 PM

What state do you live in? Laws vary by state. But that's a pretty big age gap for you two, you're what, about to graduate high school just as she's starting almost? That can be some pretty risky territory in any state.

omgineedhelp · Jun 7, 2009, 11:04 PM

I live in manitoba in canada

omgineedhelp · Jun 7, 2009, 11:08 PM

My 13 year old girlfriend and I have recently come across some terrible news. Apparently it is not leagel for us to date. We both believe in no sex before marriage, and the furthest we go is kissing, but can I still go to jail for that? I live in winnipeg/manitoba/canada

stevetcg · Jun 8, 2009, 04:50 AM

R.S. 1985, c. 19 (3rd Supp.), s. 1.

Sexual interference
151. Every person who, for a sexual purpose, touches, directly or indirectly, with a part of the body or with an object, any part of the body of a person under the age of fourteen years is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years or is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.

R.S. 1985, c. C-46, s. 151; R.S. 1985, c. 19 (3rd Supp.), s. 1.

Invitation to sexual touching
152. Every person who, for a sexual purpose, invites, counsels or incites a person under the age of fourteen years to touch, directly or indirectly, with a part of the body or with an object, the body of any person, including the body of the person who so invites, counsels or incites and the body of the person under the age of fourteen years, is guilty of an indictable offence and liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years or is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.

Basically what this says is that if you even put your hand in the wrong place - *EVEN OUTSIDE OF CLOTHING (indirect)* - you could go to jail.

Sorry man... I would guess you are at the same school and all... but it's that point that its just illegal.

ScottGem · Jun 8, 2009, 06:14 AM

There is no place that I know of that regulates dating. Any laws that exist regulate sexual activity. So if you do nothing more than kissing and keep your hands off her private parts, then you have not broken the law.

However, I do have to question a 17 yr old dating a 13 yr old. At those ages the two of you are at very different points in your lives. She is just ending her childhood and you are approaching adulthood. In another year you will be going to college or maybe starting a career. She will still be in high school. You really should be targeting girls closer to your own age.

The other question is what do her parents think about the two of you dating. If they are fine with it, then you should be OK. If they don't know or disapprove then you would be smart to end it.

omgineedhelp · Jun 8, 2009, 06:41 AM

You, I know it looks bad. And no, were not in the same school. She lives in a small town outside of winnipeg. We only see each other on weekends. The thing is I really like her and she seems to really like me back. The sad truth is she acts more mature the most pf my ex's ( they were all my age ).

Her and I have had countless conversations about her having to tell me if there's ever anything in the relationship she doesn't like. And no, there is kissing, but I refuse to touch anything other then her shoulders, or her stomich when I hug her. ( other then her lips when we kiss, or when were watching a movie and she gets scared so she curks up on my lap. Even then I keep my hands safely away. )

Her parents know about us and are fine with it. In fact I went strait to her dad and asked his permision first before I asked her out a few min later ( we had already descused dateing, but I never actually asked her. )

N0help4u · Jun 8, 2009, 09:00 AM

You can see her unless you can find a specific law that says no dating. You shouldn't have any problem unless somebody decides to make an issue of it. The laws are written meaning sexual relationship. Dating otherwise is okay. Check to see what age she would be considered legal before you go any further than kisses.

From what I read Canada's current law is she has to be 14 and you have to be within two years age difference until she is 16 for sexual consent.

omgineedhelp · Jun 8, 2009, 10:08 AM

Well we don't have to worry about going past kissing. Both of us are extreamly hard against sex before marrige. For that it meens nothing past kissing anyway. I've had to make hard desiscions before, but I'm not sure what to do now. I don't want to leave her, but I know if I don't I'm takeing a serious risk that could ruin my life. I'm leaning towards staying with her because she's completely worth the risk, but I was wondering if I could get a second opinion.

omgineedhelp · Jun 8, 2009, 10:28 AM

OK. To recap, I'm a 17 year old male who is dateing a 13 year old female. We are happy together and we both live in manitoba/ canada. We recently found out that I could get in some serious trouble for dateing her.

I've already posted a question asking about the laws, and so far everyone says that as long as I don't touch her badly or go past kissing, then we should be fine. But that's not an issue for us seeing that we both are hard believers of no sex before marrige, wich to us meens no going past kissing anyway. Her parents are completely fine with us dateing, in fact I actually asked her dads permision to date her before we started dateing.

But even if we don't do anything past kissing, I know that if for some dumb reason someone desides that they want to, I can still be brought to court and probably end up in jail.

My question is should I stay with her or should I just be safe and leave. Personaly I'm going to stay with her so far, but I would really like a second opinion. To me its worth the risk, but I can't talk to my friends about this because I had a hard enough time trying to get them to stop stareing every time they see us together.

N0help4u · Jun 8, 2009, 01:35 PM

Why don't you make it group things or public things when you see her. Like if she is going ice skating or something with a bunch of friends go with her when possible. Take her to parks, amusement parks, beaches, malls, and public places when you don't want a group. Have her in at a decent hour and don't take her to your place or be alone in a room with her.

These types of precautions should help protect you against accusations.

ScottGem · Jun 8, 2009, 01:36 PM

For you to wind up in jail there would have to be evidence of sexual contact. Generally, people get caught for statutory rape in two ways. Either the parents of the underage person find out and make a complaint or the female gets pregnant.

So if her parents are OK with it and you are determined to stay virgins, then I see no harm in continuing to date. However, I don't really see a future for your relationship. Your concern for the legal issues doesn't show a very strong commitment on your part. Plus the issues I related earlier about the difference in your ages. As you grow older your perspective will change and so will hers.

P.s If you want to ask a follow-up, use the Answer This Question options. Don't start a new thread.

omgineedhelp · Jun 8, 2009, 01:54 PM

To be completely honest, the only reason I'm even asking these things is because my girlfriend wants me to find out as much info as I can. I've already told her I'm staying with her whether the law states I can or not. The only remaining factor is what she says and how her dad and mom react. I'm trying to get opinions so that I can reasure her.

And to everyone who has helped me I thank you so much. It is much apreciated.

ScottGem · Jun 8, 2009, 02:01 PM

Well my OPINION is that as long as her parents like you and they don't catch engaging in sexual activity, then you are unlikely to encounter any legal issues.