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phil39100 · Jun 7, 2009, 08:35 AM

How can I find out if ex girlfriend really had a abortion which is due tomorrow and how to know if she went through with having the baby due in 6 months as I don't think she will have the abortion and wants me not involved she claims its not mine and getting rid of it but I don't believe her

Jake2008 · Jun 7, 2009, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by phil39100

How can i find out if ex gf really had a abortion which is due tomorrow and how to know if she went through with having the baby due in 6 months as i dont think she will have the abortion and wants me not involved she claims its not mine and getting rid of it but i dont believe her

It depends what motivates you to find out.

If you want her to have the baby, and you think it is yours, you should see a lawyer immediately, before she has the abortion. Then determine paternity and go from there.

If you want proof that she's had an abortion so that you don't have to worry about being a father, unless you go with her, I can't think of a reason why she would have to tell you.

Otherwise, failing those two options, you'll just have to wait six months, and if you don't see her obviously pregnant before then, or pushing a stroller after, then you'll know. At which case you should also seek legal assistance if you wish to be involved in the child's life.

phil39100 · Jun 7, 2009, 10:24 AM

Well firstly I want this baby and have begged her not to have the abortion I have tried to reason with her as 2 weeks ago she was going through what to buy for when the baby was born she wanted this baby as it was planned then last week she ended the relationship and I was due to go with to the scan tomorrow but the other day she text saying baby wasn't mine and she was getting rid of it all this as happened in a space of 2 weeks of being with someone who was planning a family with me to this she says I have no need to contact her all the ending the relationship to saying baby not mine to the abortion was done by text I only text her a couple of times to say about the baby and she said I could be part of it then she changed overnight I have not harassed her in anyway what so ever even though its all tearing me apart not knowing

justcurious55 · Jun 7, 2009, 10:46 AM

Wow. Is it possible she's super emotional from the changing hormones?
I'm guessing since you guys were about to start a family together you probably, hopefully had some mutual friends. Is there anyone you'd feel comfortable asking to talk to her for you if she won't talk to you? Its great that you want to respect her privacy. But maybe there's someone close enough to her that you could talk to without upsetting her? Maybe she has a sister or someone in the family that you always got along with?

Jake2008 · Jun 7, 2009, 10:53 AM

In some ways I wish this was in the 'legal' section. I am wondering if you have any rights to interfere before she goes through with the abortion.

You are in a really tough spot there. Seems to me she's getting bad advice. Most women would be very happy to have the support from the father, not the other way around.

I got the impression that the abortion was scheduled, and you've mentioned a scan. Is there any way that first thing tomorrow morning you can contact a lawyer for immediate assistance and advice?

Maybe hormones play some part of this, but not usually to the extreme end of cutting off the boyfriend/father. She can be up and down with moods (I was really, really bad that way), but she's talking very drastic talk of measures that will not be reversible, and it affects YOUR life as much as hers.

By the way you've described her, I doubt that talking to her will do much good right now. Not a bad idea as justcurious has said to try to contact a close friend of hers, or her mother maybe. See if you can't get more information.

Hopefully, someone will catch this with legal experience that can further advise in that regard.

Please post back and let us know how you made out.

Good luck to you.

cdad · Jun 7, 2009, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

In some ways I wish this was in the 'legal' section. I am wondering if you have any rights to interfere before she goes through with the abortion.

You are in a really tough spot there. Seems to me she's getting bad advice. Most women would be very happy to have the support from the father, not the other way around.

I got the impression that the abortion was scheduled, and you've mentioned a scan. Is there any way that first thing tomorrow morning you can contact a lawyer for immediate assistance and advice?

Maybe hormones play some part of this, but not usually to the extreme end of cutting off the boyfriend/father. She can be up and down with moods (I was really, really bad that way), but she's talking very drastic talk of measures that will not be reversable, and it affects YOUR life as much as hers.

By the way you've described her, I doubt that talking to her will do much good right now. Not a bad idea as justcurious has said to try to contact a close friend of hers, or her mother maybe. See if you can't get more information.

Hopefully, someone will catch this with legal experience that can further advise in that regard.

Please post back and let us know how you made out.

Good luck to you.

There really isn't anything that can be done as far as the law goes in this type of situation. The only thing that bringing it to the courts attention would be to challenge / establish paternity. And if she decides to go with an abortion then its all over. He nor anyone else can force her to have the child. You keep giving the OP false hope through the legal system and it just isn't there.