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soul777 · Jun 4, 2009, 08:01 AM

Hii everyone this will be abit long...

I have been in a relationship with my ex for 8years we practically grew up together so we know each other very well through out these years we had our good and our bad times we broke as well twice but got back together she really did change allot for me and I changed 2 , we went travelling togther and had our own apartment for like 4years and a half till early 2008 her family left to live in uk so she stayed with me and the first time she went there for a week to visit it was good but the next time she went things started to change we argued allot over trust issues I do trust her but like if I called she would always answer me and talk in a weird way or sometimes hung up and call me the next day it went like this till the day she was going to come back on that day we had a fite and then she decided she does not want to come back but eventually after a month she did and but the plan was that she would come back and stay for couple of months go back to the uk and I would follow her in the summer of this year so she came back it was difficult in the beginning because I was confused as well as her but eventually sorted things out and we even got engaged before she left...
So she left on the 10 th of April things were perfect in the first two weeks then she started going out all the time and I was worried because I didn't trust her which is my fault for doing that so I pressured her by calling allot and asking questions till one day she decides that this is not working and that she wants different things in her life and that if she is with me she can't do them I told her that I would change and admitted my mistakes and that I would love to go there and be with her and experience life style over there but she refused I gave her a gap for a few days and then sent her a normal email she replied by saying she was sorry for doing this but she thinks its better she contacted my cousin told him that it was hard but its for the best and all and that she was confused after a week though she sent him an email saying she is having fun and that she decided to stay there and that it won't work even if I went there... so then she started to tell everyone that she is back to reality now and that she is having a very good time now ignored 2of my emails so I really don't know what to do its so hard not talking to someone I've been with for 8years am so used to her everything reminds me of her I don't know if she feels the same and if she would realize this and call me my friends are telling me its very hard and that she mite realise this later on or she mte not the thot of her not being with me kills me from inside I really am confused and have noway of contacting her except email but she never replies so I don't want to be naggy please help
Thank you

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 08:16 AM

Ouch, that does sound hard. 8 yrs. I have been with my girl for only 1 and we are having a hard time breaking up. Read through these posts and you will realize that its hard to get her back. But you do have a history of breaking up and getting back together. Sometimes when girls are let go, they like to have fun for a few weeks/months and they need to get it out of their system before they realize that they miss what they had. Give her time, give her the summer. In the meantime, you go out and have a good time. Don't hold on to hope, but to me this sounds like she was just suffocating and will really start to miss you if you don't contact her. THAT MEANS ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT. No emails, Texts, SMSs, etc. Let her see that being single is only fun for a little while. Life is so much better with a significant other to share important moments with.

soul777 · Jun 4, 2009, 08:42 AM

I guess your right... I will not contact her but I hope she undestands and does actually miss me and not think of it as a and old chapter that she would not want to go back to I love her to bits I am standing on my feet now and going on with life hoping for the better :)

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 09:05 AM

She may. She may meet someone she likes better. After 8 yrs, the passion died (the 7 year itch?) and maybe she meets someone with whom she has the passion and falls in love. She may never stop loving/missing you, but she will move on. You must too. In fact, she is more likely to come back to you if you move on and don't contact her. Especially if she hears that you are seeing someone...

soul777 · Jun 4, 2009, 09:23 AM

I know what you mean... I am just hoping for the better because we had allot together and I hope she realises and calls I just wish because I swear to you I never have felt this pain in my whole life... all I undestood from her that she wants to meet up with old friends and make new once go out and enjoy if you know what I mean don't think she wants to be committed but I hope one day she realises
Thanks

ayejay0601 · Jun 4, 2009, 10:17 AM

I know what you mean about the pain. I broke up with my girlfriend within the past week and I cannot even believe I am in so much pain. I cannot help thinking that I will not meet anyone like that again, even though I know this is not true. You will start to feel better if you go NC; but if you start looking for info, asking her friends, etc. you will never move on and every time you hear about how she went on a date, it will cause pain within you. You don't want to do that to yourself. Trust me, this pain will never die if you do.

soul777 · Jun 6, 2009, 04:59 AM

This is really getting harder and harder all I am hoping for is that she realises and calls :(

ayejay0601 · Jun 6, 2009, 07:33 AM

I know, the first few weeks are very hard and will get harder for awhile... at first. Go out. Look at yourself in the mirror and see what a great person you are. Remember what you gave her in your relationship and remember what a great boyfriend you were. How many girls would love to have that? Don't short sell yourself--you feel like sh*t right now and think you will never meet anyone like that. Mornings are the hardest because your system is down and you are most likely to get depressed. Do yourself this favor: Go for a run or something in the AM's. Trust me you will feel better. Run as fast as you can until you are exhausted. You will also began to look better. I have been working out almost nonstop since my girlfriend broke up with me last week. Everybody keeps telling me I look amazing and I can't believe how much attention I am getting from the ladies. You do this too.

talaniman · Jun 7, 2009, 07:03 AM

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