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ayejay0601 · Jun 2, 2009, 08:45 AM

Ok, I know its unlikely and I know I need to move on and not hold on to hope. I will. But I want to hear from people who have gotten back together with an ex. What compelled him/her to come back to you?

Romefalls19 · Jun 2, 2009, 09:03 AM

SO far, the only one I know that has worked is Eura. No one else I know has gotten back together and had it work out

ZoeMarie · Jun 2, 2009, 09:07 AM

What compelled me to get back with my ex years ago, quite honestly was that I was scared I'd be alone. We were back together for a very short period before we realized that nothing had changed. We never did solve the problems that caused us to break up from the beginning. So that's how I learned that getting back with an ex is generally a silly idea.

Alty · Jun 2, 2009, 09:07 AM

Got back together with an ex, yes, worked out, no.

I'm the one that went back, and it was the worst mistake I ever made. I broke up with him for a reason, but I thought I should give it another shot because we'd been together for almost 2 years.

The second go around ended with him beating me to a pulp, kicking and denting my car and then calling me the next day to tell me he loves me. Ya, not going to happen.

They're you ex for a reason.

Romefalls19 · Jun 2, 2009, 09:12 AM

I got back with an ex from HS, numerous times. Each time same result, but I was a champ, I kept hanging in there thinking it was true love or some bullshoot.

ayejay0601 · Jun 2, 2009, 09:52 AM

Very interesting stories. So it seems that its doesn't work very often. In my case, we broke up because my girlfriend loved me, but was not in love with me. She cries everyday right now. I am sure its partly guilt, but she also just misses me. I am hoping that the distance apart may make her realize that he is actually in love with me, but don't worry, I am not holding my breath.

totallylost07 · Jun 2, 2009, 10:47 AM

Take it from me.. it won't work.. I was with my ex for 7 years. She cheated on my once at our 2 year mark. We worked past it, and 5 years down.. same thing... just walk away when it is still easy. I invested 5 more years of my life, and I am kicking myself right now.

ayejay0601 · Jun 2, 2009, 10:51 AM

Totallylost: Why did you take her back after the first time?

Justwantfair · Jun 2, 2009, 10:55 AM

I got back with an ex... thought it was kismet and everything. High School Sweethearts reunited... after 6 and a half years. Took about two years following the reunion for me to catch him cheating and to know that sometime while one changes for the better, the other changes for the worst.

I learned I will always love him, but that doesn't mean I should be with him.

roxypox · Jun 2, 2009, 11:10 AM

I got back with an x several times as well. I dumped him and went back twice... big mistake... he is litteraly crazy and he just kept on getting crazier and crazier and it was a big mistake.

The first time I went back I didn't want to be alone. The second time I was in a horrible situation and made a bad choice that seemed like a good one at the time.

Like some of the others have said: your x (x's) is your x for a reason. Sometimes its hard to see that when some time has passed... the bad things fade, the good sticks out as amazing... whatever the reason...

It usually doesn't work out.

totallylost07 · Jun 2, 2009, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by ayejay0601

Totallylost: Why did you take her back after the first time?

I told myself that this love is the real deal and there won't be anything else like this... and that love will pull us through this rough patch.

BMI · Jun 2, 2009, 11:22 AM

Hey ayejay,

It does not happen often, when it does it seems to end badly anyway. I know your not holding your breathe but sitting there hoping someone will fall in love with you is selling yourself real short. I'm sure there are plenty of people that will actually love you, you shouldn't have to hope someone will.

ayejay0601 · Jun 2, 2009, 11:25 AM

BMI: I know you are right, but I just can't get over this girl. And I am not sure how to proceed now. She wants to be friends after we have both had enough time to recover and she is uncertain of her decision. I know I must move on. I must. But its just tough. What makes it worse is that I was recently laid off, so I am just sitting around thinking about it.

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 2, 2009, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by ayejay0601

BMI: I know you are right, but I just can't get over this girl. And I am not sure how to proceed now. She wants to be friends after we have both had enough time to recover and she is uncertain of her decision. I know I must move on. I must. But its just tough. What makes it worse is that I was recently laid off, so I am just sitting around thinking about it.

Welcome to my world man. I was laid off then a week latter dumped. Just stay as busy as you can.

160fet · Jun 2, 2009, 01:04 PM

Five years ago a girlfriend left me after being together for a year. She didn't have the same feelings for me anymore. I had always felt that she kept changing her mind about me during our relationship. She had become a flaky waffler. The breakup hurt bad.

Four months later I had gotten over her and moved on. I was dating again but wasn't seeing anyone promising. She called to meet for dinner and talk about things, and we did meet.

She wanted to get back into the relationship where we left off. I told her that I had moved on and was seeing other people, but was open to trying again with her. We got back together and dated for another 8 months but we were never on the same page about our relationship. She resented that I had been seeing other women even though she was the one who had initially left me. I was reluctant to trust her with my heart until she could prove her worth and she never did.

Eight months later she left me for another guy who was a little older and made more money and she was classless enough to tell me that money was the reason why she didn't want to see me again. I have to say that I was glad to see her go then but angry at myself for wasting another year with such an immature woman.

You have to let go. Open your heart to promising new outcomes.

Over two months ago my most recent girlfriend left me after 1 1/2 years and it was sudden with no warning. I was devastated and filled with false hope of reuniting. The way I got through it with the least amount of pain was NC as much as possible. I resisted contacting her and she made no efforts to contact me. It helped me see for real that she wasn't in my life anymore because she had lost her feelings for me. As a result of closing that door and making myself available to new opportunities, I've been seeing a great new woman for a few weeks now and we have something new and wonderful together.

You have to find the opportunity to do better because of this and not look backwards at what wasn't going to be.

ayejay0601 · Jun 2, 2009, 01:17 PM

160fet: Wow! That is one of the greatest posts I have read on here. There is something really sincere and poignant about the way you write. My relationship with this girl sounds similar to your first relationship that you described (1 yr together and she seems to flip-flop about whether she loves me.)

I know there are others and I am starting to get a little excited about the prospect of dating and falling in love again. So I think I am moving on...