Check out some similar questions!

pyj5172 · Jun 1, 2009, 06:42 AM

My brother has been paying child support for the past 11 years. It has now been determined through a paternity test that he is not the biological father. Can the child support order be terminated?

pyj5172 · Jun 1, 2009, 06:43 AM

And if so what does he need to do. The case is in Florida but he lives in Virginia.

stevetcg · Jun 1, 2009, 08:01 AM

He needs to file for a change of support order in FL. FL laws now allow this to be filed at any point.

Who ordered the DNA testing?

pyj5172 · Jun 1, 2009, 06:43 PM

Well he arranged through an agency to have it done. The child was taken to a office and the sample was sent off to a lab. Is the change of order the same as a modification?

Fr_Chuck · Jun 1, 2009, 07:03 PM

Part of the issue is the time frame. If the case is allowed and heard, he would lose any rights to his son, no visits, no calls no nothing,
Why would he want to give up his son after over 11 years.

But he will need an attorney there is no way he could even startthis on his own,

But if the child was born while they were married, if he is listed on the birth certificate, he may not be able to get out of the child support

pyj5172 · Jun 2, 2009, 04:21 AM

Thanks for your response. He has only been a part of his life financially for the 11 years. My parents have done everything for this child. He always had doubts about the child from day one but didn't voice his concerns until now. The baby's mother lied to him about the child because she said "he was a good guy and she knew he would take care of him". Well now the child's mom is totally taking advantage of my parents kindness and has moved to Lake City and left the child in Miami for my parents to take care of when in fact he is not even biologically their grandchild. My parents are concerned now because they don't even have a power of attorney for the child and the mom said she is willing to let them adopt the child if they want to. "What options do my parents have"?

stinawords · Jun 2, 2009, 07:50 AM

If your parents want to adopt him then they need to get a lawyer. That lawyer will give them better answers because they will have access to all of the information. As of right now they are the legal grandparents (even though not biological). If the mother wants them to adopt the child then it can go off with out a hitch. Adoptions are done all the time with out biological connections.

MsMewiththat · Jun 2, 2009, 08:15 AM

Wow, I just want to add, please get this child into some type of therapy soon. If he every gets a hold of this truth it could really be bad. It would be very hurtful to him and confusing. Truth is important but in small doses so as not to over whelm the child. There is a lot of rejection and lies in his young life. Important he know the truth and not later find it out. But please be careful how it is delivered so he knows he is loved. What about the maternal grandparents?

dontknownuthin · Jun 2, 2009, 08:47 AM

If your parents want custody of the child, they should file for custody and try to adopt the child. It might be possible for your brother to give them his parental rights, and for the courts to award them physical custody, requiring support payments from the child's mother. This is a mess...

I would suggest that everyone consider what is best for the child and make a plan from that point. After all these years, whether the child is genetically your brothers speaks to the character of the birth mother in erecting this whole house of cards, but your brother might consider whether he can continue to care for this child simply because the child has depended on him all this time - sometimes we just do things because it's right, whether we should have to, or not. The child clearly needs a father, and is completely dependent on these grandparents.

If the birth mother is willing to consent to your parents adopting her son, and they would like custody, perhaps your whole family could make some effort to help whether through financial or practical means.

I do not think dumping the child as a result of this test would be the moral thing to do - who among us wants to hear that because someone lied when we were born, all of our key relationships are a sham? Doesn't it do a lot more for us as human beings to be honest with the child about the fact of his paternity and in the same breath say, "but it doesn't matter - you are ours because of who you are, and the love we feel for you."

stevetcg · Jun 2, 2009, 09:52 AM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

I do not think dumping the child as a result of this test would be the moral thing to do - who among us wants to hear that because someone lied when we were born, all of our key relationships are a sham? Doesn't it do a lot more for us as human beings to be honest with the child about the fact of his paternity and in the same breath say, "but it doesn't matter - you are ours because of who you are, and the love we feel for you."

So this guy paying support for a child for 11 years that is not his is moral? The mother should be held liable to pay all that support back.

JudyKayTee · Jun 2, 2009, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

I do not think dumping the child as a result of this test would be the moral thing to do - who among us wants to hear that because someone lied when we were born, all of our key relationships are a sham? Doesn't it do a lot more for us as human beings to be honest with the child about the fact of his paternity and in the same breath say, "but it doesn't matter - you are ours because of who you are, and the love we feel for you."

This man paid child support for 11 years, believing the child was his, and you not only don't think that's a problem but you think he should KEEP paying - ?

stevetcg · Jun 2, 2009, 01:09 PM

There was actually some fairly sweeping legislation passed in FL 2 years ago about this specific issue. 2 years ago, once the support order was issued, it could NEVER BE OVERTURNED because of paternity.

Now THAT was a bad law.

JudyKayTee · Jun 2, 2009, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

There was actually some fairly sweeping legislation passed in FL 2 years ago about this specific issue. 2 years ago, once the support order was issued, it could NEVER BE OVERTURNED because of paternity.

Now THAT was a bad law.

And I've been in Family Court when the "father" has paid maternity expenses, baby expenses, support for a relatively short period, found out it's not his child and he's out of luck.

There should be SOME method of evening out the score when this happens but I must admit I don't know what it is OR how anyone could prove fraud on the part of the mother.

dontknownuthin · Jun 2, 2009, 03:06 PM

In a situation where a man has been in a father role to a child for 11 years, the child lives with that man's parents and is "totally dependent" upon them for support and for family relationships, and the mother has abandoned that child, yes, I think he should consider continuing to support the child.

While I understand he was lied to about paternity, why wait 11 years to run the test? Now he decides to run the test, and this child is to be abandoned again - and left with nobody? Who will adopt an 11 year old kid from the system?

I am suggesting he consider it only because the alternative presents a very perilous situation for this child and sometimes, we are called upon in life to do for others. Do I think he has to? No. Do I think it would be wonderful for this child if he did? Yes. I think it sounds like this child doesn't have many other options.

And do I think he has any responsibility in the situation? Yes - I think if he was going to object on a paternity basis, he waited far too long to do so. He should have run this test when he first learned that the child existed, before the child bonded with his family.

JudyKayTee · Jun 2, 2009, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

In a situation where a man has been in a father role to a child for 11 years, the child lives with that man's parents and is "totally dependent" upon them for support and for family relationships, and the mother has abandoned that child, yes, I think he should consider continuing to support the child.

While I understand he was lied to about paternity, why wait 11 years to run the test? Now he decides to run the test, and this child is to be abandoned again - and left with nobody? Who will adopt an 11 year old kid from the system?

I am suggesting he consider it only because the alternative presents a very perilous situation for this child and sometimes, we are called upon in life to do for others. Do I think he has to? No. Do I think it would be wonderful for this child if he did? Yes. I think it sounds like this child doesn't have many other options.

And do I think he has any responsibility in the situation? Yes - I think if he was going to object on a paternity basis, he waited far too long to do so. He should have run this test when he first learned that the child existed, before the child bonded with his family.

Again - this is a legal board. If you want to discuss paternity, responsibility, open a discussion thread. As usual - does not address the question.

Oh, and concerning your revenge reddie. It's "reddie," not "readie," which you would know if you bothered to read the rules I keep posting for your reading pleasure.

dontknownuthin · Jun 3, 2009, 07:41 PM

I'm sorry I made a typo. And I'm sorry you don't think my comments are relevant, JudyKayTee. It appears others agree with you so I'll concede that I should have put a string elsewhere. Meant to help and I guess I was a little thrown by the tone of your response to this and other posts I've written... normally people find my insight helpful and do not get so offended. So, my bad... sorry.